The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
One dear friend of mine once told me that the meaning of success is relative. For me, this is what success looks like. 🙂
“WHAT IS SUCCESS?”
by: Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one’s self; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived – This is to have succeeded.
“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.” – 1 Timothy 6:17-19
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-10
I saw it coming. I was more than ready. But it wasn’t what I hoped for. I never thought my Mom’s breast cancer would come back, a relapse. I mentioned in my previous articles how she survived her first ordeal with breast cancer. This time though, it was more serious. It was worse. Much worse.
Praying for healing over my Mom. ❤ Stolen shot c/o my husband, and I saw it on my phone just in time for this article. 🙂
So I asked. What are her chances of surviving Stage 4 breast cancer with only 20% of her lungs still working? Her condition is critical. She used to have 5 contraptions attached to her – a ventilator tube, ngt, central IV, catheter, and CTT tube (this was already removed as of writing, TYL).
And yet through this seemingly very hopeless situation, I remained hopeful. Why? First, I believe in Jehovah Rapha. Second, my Mom is a fighter. And last but not least, she has the best team of doctors.
I’d like to thank these awesome “superheroes” who are doing their best to give Mom more months or years to live (77 years old is still young IMO) – Dr. Bolinao, Dr. Mortel, Dr. Donor, Dr. Manzano, Dr. Llacer, and Dr. Leones of SMMGH. I was actually thinking about which of the Avengers characters will best represent each one of them. 😀 Seriously, thank you so much, super Doctors. ❤
My family and I would also like to thank everyone at the hospital who has been helping us take care of Mom. Thanks as well to some of our relatives and family friends who took the time to visit my Mom at the hospital and extend their help. We wouldn’t be able to get through this without all of their support and prayers. At the moment, though, we were advised to limit the visitors coming in and out of her room as she is immunocompromised.
So why juxtaposed? Why a bargain?
I wasn’t expecting Mom to have it again, but me. As I have mentioned in my previous articles, breast cancer did not skip a single generation on my mother’s side starting from my great-grandmother, grandmother, and now my Mom. They all had a mastectomy.
In short, cancer genes are dominant in our family. The next generation who’s expected to have it is the generation of my siblings and me. Among the 5 of us, who could be the one carrying it? We are also at the right age when breast cancer is usually detected – around the late 30s to early 40s.
I am fully aware of what future I could have if it’s me who got it. Thus, it was my prayer that my generation would be the last generation to carry this generational curse. This is how I bargained with God.
I am willing to do anything and everything to stop these cancer genes from being passed on to the next generations. I prayed fervently that my siblings and I would be the last generation to experience the haunting trauma of battling cancer.
God took the bargain. BUT it was not the bargain I was hoping for. Mom got diagnosed with breast cancer the second time around. The second time was more painful and more grueling, and it’ll take her a long time to overcome it if, by God’s will, she overcomes it.
And I thought, maybe this is why she got it twice in her lifetime. So that our generation won’t get it anymore. Though looking at my Mom now, I somehow wished that it should be me. It should’ve been me.
No child would ever want to see their parent suffering. If only I could share in her suffering and take on some of the pain she is going through now, I would gladly take it. Every single bit of all the pain.
It was a juxtaposition. The opposite of what I prayed and bargained for. And yet, I think, it is for the better. How?
My generation now offers plenty of opportunities to treat and prevent cancer. It all started with this curiosity of mine which urged me to do my research about ways to prevent cancer genes from being transferred to a fetus while it’s still in its early stages of development.
I wondered if it is possible to remove cancer genes through gene editing. It was a farfetched thought. But well, God does make some things impossible to possible through Science. Because voila, the farfetched thought did not seem farfetched at all – it is now a reality.
My research brought me to CRISPR-Cas9. What is CRISPR-Cas9?
“Genome editing (also called gene editing) is a group of technologies that give scientists the ability to change an organism’s DNA. These technologies allow genetic material to be added, removed, or altered at particular locations in the genome. Several approaches to genome editing have been developed. A well-known one is called CRISPR-Cas9, which is short for clustered regularly interspaced short palindromic repeats and CRISPR-associated protein 9.” – https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/understanding/genomicresearch/genomeediting/
This discovery is quite new, and there were only a few studies performed on humans using this technology because of ethical concerns. A Chinese scientist was sentenced to 3 years in prison for conducting CRISPR on a human embryo.
The reason? If done wrong, it can cause serious side effects to the human embryo’s cells, thus, lose huge quantities of the genetic material. The child may come out with disabilities or as a “child with special needs (CSN)” as we call it in Special Education.
So this gave me an idea. Why not be a study patient for a gene-editing experiment? A very willing study patient. I might need to ask Dr. Leones, Mom’s oncologist, about this. 😀
I am already 37 years old, but I still would like to have kids. I am considering freezing my eggs so I can have the baby through IVF and/or surrogacy if the time comes that I’m already incapable of carrying the baby in my womb.
It’s a very big risk. And yet, I believe that if the CRISPR technology becomes a success when it comes to human embryos, then it is such an amazing breakthrough in the field of Science. Just imagine how many people will be able to live life cancer-free even though their original genetic composition has dominant cancer genes.
A lot of children will be freed from the generational curse of getting cancer genes from their parents and ancestors. As the adage goes, “Prevention is better than cure.” But for now, I wait.
And yet if breaking the generational curse does not happen in my generation, then I can only pray that the generations after us will get to be a part of this scientific breakthrough.
My bargain was juxtaposed. But it opened doors of unlimited opportunities to finally defeat breast cancer once and for all. May God help us, and may Science be the answer.
I also would like to take this opportunity to ask for your prayers for my Mom’s recovery. If it is not God’s will for her, then I am still grateful that we were given the time to make peace with her situation and accept whatever the outcome will be.
In everything, let God’s will be done always. And may His Name be glorified even as we go through this very difficult season of pain and sadness. Because well, I still have more reasons to rejoice knowing life doesn’t really end here, and there’s life after this world. 🙂
“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.” – Psalm 73:26
P.S.
We’ve been watching over Mom for about 2 months now at the hospital. Then, I tested positive of Covid after experiencing Covid symptoms (rashes, cold, flu, cough, and very itchy throat).
And yet I’m still grateful. Why? Because Mom did not contract the virus though I am one of her very close contacts, and she’s immunocompromised because she is currently going through chemo sessions. It was a miracle, and I am believing for more miracles in Jesus’ Name. ❤
This was a topic that I already thought about when I was making my personal editorial calendar last July. I had no idea what to write for this topic back then but I just thought the title is suitable for the occasion. So methinks I’ll allow the Spirit’s leading. Little did I know God has already prepared the contents of this article beforehand. 😀
Last Sunday’s preaching was where I got the idea for this content. It was the part where Pastor Rev (as in Rev from “revelation?” I’d better ask him next time. :-D) explained the events in Revelation 21. He shared that when judgment day arrives, our souls will no longer go to heaven because there will be a new heaven and a new earth when God brings heaven here on earth.
But then, a question popped in my head and prompted me to ask hubby dear who’s seated beside me, “So, if souls don’t go to heaven, where do souls go when a person dies now?” My husband just smiled at me and I knew what he was thinking, “You need to ask God that because I can’t answer you.” 😀
Do Souls Really Linger in this World?
I searched the web all about where souls stay or go. I ended up reading the entire chapter of Revelation 21 yet again and all other sources I could find over the internet. Indeed, it was all a “revelation” to me.
Ah yes, 5 years of being a Christian and yet there are still a lot of things in the Bible that aren’t clear to me or have to be revealed to me yet. I guess this is part of every Christian’s walk and spiritual journey – wisdom is given not in one, single bulk, but through a series of learning.
So here are 3 ideas I have discovered today while doing my research on this topic:
1. Souls don’t go to heaven. Not yet.
So we have been believing in a misconception that when a person dies, his/her soul goes to heaven right away. There are verses in the Bible which explain that when our mortal bodies die, so do our souls. Our souls lie dormant waiting for Christ’s second coming, so to speak.
“The dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” – Ecclesiastes 12:7
The Return of the Lord
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.
We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God.
First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words.”
– 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
2. Our souls aren’t immortal.
This supports idea #1. According to Bible Info, if we think of our souls as two separate entities, then that means our souls are immortal. But we all know that God is the only one who is immortal. This article continued explaining that this is the reason why Paul said that “the righteous seek for honor, glory, and immortality.” It means, immortality is something that is yet to be granted to us once Jesus resurrects us from the dead, gives us a new body, and we become a new creation living in the new heaven and earth along with Him.
The New Jerusalem
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End.
To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.
“But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
– Revelation 21:1-8
3. Not all souls will go to heaven.
Both evil and righteous souls lie dormant waiting for the resurrection during judgment day. According to the sources I have found, there are two places where people will go during judgment day: resurrection in the new heaven and earth or eternal life and resurrection in eternal condemnation or hell.
Indeed, heaven is God’s home and we can never go home yet without settling our “accountability” first in this present earth. 😉 But for now, let’s remember those who are with our Creator already during this 3-day observance of Allhallowtide. ❤
“Why am I experiencing all these failures and disappointments?”
“If there is a God, then He should not allow me to suffer but how come He won’t listen to my prayers?”
And my answer was simple:
“There is a God, He listens to you and He answers. BUT you just don’t hear it because you don’t believe.”
And I continued:
“Didn’t you know that this world that we live in now is the devil’s domain?
Didn’t you know that most of the problems that we encounter are all fueled by the dark forces and the evil nature that reside in this world?
Didn’t you know that this world is condemned, it is temporary and this was cursed because of our fallen nature, that moment when Adam and Eve (our ancestors) were banished from the garden of Eden because of sin?
BUT…
Didn’t you know too that God has made peace with us by sending His Son as the ultimate sacrifice so we can choose to have life?
Didn’t you know that that life is not the life lived in this world, but lived in a world where everything is pleasing, good and perfect and everything evil, the ones that we are experiencing now, will forever be eradicated including death?
Didn’t you know that this other world is called heaven, a place of eternity and eternal salvation in contrast to hell which is eternal condemnation?
Didn’t you know that what God only wanted for us is to accept His gift to us which is eternal salvation through His Son Jesus Christ?
Didn’t you know that this salvation means God wants to save us from the dark forces of evil in this world by giving us a chance to claim victory towards life in eternity?
Didn’t you know that God wanted to prove to you that He is more powerful than anything in this world and that He is the only one who can save you from the perils of this world just by simply surrendering to the Way towards salvation, surrendering to the Truth that death has no power over the Son of God, and surrendering to the Life that is eternal and infinite – Jesus Christ?
Didn’t you know that it only takes three ways to believe in God, our ticket towards heaven – to repent, to surrender and to proclaim you need a Savior?”
And so I continued:
“If you don’t really know all these things, then I humbly dare you to ask God to come into your life, reveal Himself to you and prove that He is indeed God of all.”
This was how I ended the battle for I believe God will finish it for me. All I have to do is believe then proclaim – this is my battle cry.
I have long given up this thing called “race in life” – to earn more in this world i.e. higher education, promotions, accumulation of possessions, bigger titles, etc. If it comes to a point that I acknowledge such achievement or honor, that is not for my glory but for God’s glory and to thank the people responsible in making that achievement happen.
Why give up the race in the worldly life and focus more in running the race towards the eternal life? They can become a “leech” to our souls – the worldly things. It spurs greed, envy, and discontentment leading to an unsatisfied, unhappy and tired soul.
If I have decided to pursue my graduate study, it is not for my glory but because it is a commitment I made to my family years ago even before I got saved – a way to honor them and a responsibility that I had to fulfill as a sister and a daughter. Honoring them will honor God too.
If I decide to work, that is because I need to earn money not to get rich but to survive and serve others including my future family.
I’d rather learn how to live righteously devoid of all these worldly things than to live with them but live a corrupted life. It isn’t easy though, this thing called living life righteously. For we are in a world with its double standards where sin and corruption of the soul are everywhere. They are a black hole which consumes us if we allow ourselves to even get near it.
God never called us to live a life of fame and fortune but He called us to live otherwise. As it was written:
“God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8
We will never have a need for God if we are getting everything according to the worldly standards. Though we get everything that this world offers but not have God as the number 1 priority in this life, we’ll still end up unhappy, discontented and unsatisfied.
For we all know that though we may have everything except God, then we really have nothing. And yes we have all that we needed in this Earthly world, now what? What will we do with all the fame, with all our money, with all our possessions, with all our titles? Do you think it will please God when we have all those? 🙂
If we are all laboriously working in preparation for our future, who are we to say what our future holds? Did not God say this:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” – Matthew 6:25
Where is our faith?
Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” – John 20:29
As it is said, “Faith is not achieved by good deeds coming from our own efforts but by trusting God that He is completely in charge with everything.” It isn’t easy to have blind faith and yet God made it possible through the Cross. 🙂
The Journeyman's Moments 