Si Ulysses At Ang Mini Greenhouse: Foundation

Disclaimer: I wrote this article to ask for prayers and any kind of help you could give after the onslaught of Super Typhoon Rolly and Typhoon Ulysses in the Philippines.

Kindly visit this link for more details: https://victory.org.ph/TyphoonPHRelief/?fbclid=IwAR3bmv5Ptv0DJAB3d9PdUXagG2RolDOvpqjZeyJiZAVFstH_x7peilO4WCI

Thank you, and may God continue to be with us all always. 🙏🏻


The Mini Greenhouse

Wala ito sa kalingkingan ng matinding pinagdaanan ng mga nasalanta ng bagyong Ulysses. Pero share ko lang din paano naka-survive itong mini green house dahil akala ko mahina lang ang bagyo kaya hindi ko siya niligpit at ipinasok sa loob ng condo.

It’s made from very light metal and plastic materials. Yaong kapag walang laman, kaya syang patumbahin ng isang tulak lang ng iyong daliri. May maximum weight din na pwede mong ipatong sa kanya.

Thank God, both the balustrade cover and the mini greenhouse survived the strong winds brought by Ulysses. 🙏🏻

Keeping It Safe

Dahil dati nang malakas ang hangin dito sa condo na para bang laging may bagyo, nakatulong ito para siguraduhin kong secure ang mga gamit at alagang pananim dito sa 10th floor terrace.

Naisipan kong dagdagan ng pabigat ang base ng mini greenhouse pero yaong kaya lang nyang dalhin. Ito ay para sya ay maging matibay at hindi agad liparin o matumba gaano man kalakas ng hangin.

Saved By Grace

It worked out, at sa awa na rin ng Dios, na-withstand ni mini greenhouse ang sobrang lakas na hanging dala ni Ulysses. Buong direction sya binayo at ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit madaling araw na akong nakatulog dahil nakikita kong nayayanig sya ng sobra.

Pero sabi nga ng asawa ko, “Hindi sila matitinag. They will be fine.” At nakatulog sya ng maaga, samantalang ako ay nagaalala pa rin at napapaisip kung ipapasok ko ang mga pananim o hindi sa gitna ng paghampas ni Ulysses.

Building The Foundation

Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na tayo ay kahalintulad ni mini greenhouse at akong gardener ay parang si God. Alam ng Dios ang mga paparating na mabibigat na problema kaya binibigyan Nya tayo ng mga “pasanin” na oo, mabigat, pero kaya nating dalhin.

Pero dahil doon sa “pabigat,” nagagawa nating maging handa para sa mga susunod pang mas “mabigat” na pagdadaanan natin. At dahil din sa mga “pabigat” na ito kaya lumalim ang ating pananampalataya na syang nagsisilbi ngayon bilang ating matibay na pundasyon.

God Is A Firm Foundation

Kaya naman anumang unos ang dumating, yanigin man sa kaliwa at sa kanan, mananatili pa ring nakatayo. And the Bible has the same sentiments about it:

Jesus said, “As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock.

When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation.

The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” – Luke 6:47-49

May we all build our foundation securely – not on something temporary, but on something that is firm. It may be a rock, and it can be God.

Praying for strength always,

P.S. Next bagyo (apat or lima pa daw ang papasok bago matapos ang 2020 sabi ng PAGASA) ipapasok ko na silang lahat para makatulog ako ng matiwasay.

Which reminds me, too, na it looks like I still have such little faith. Kaya kailangan pa siguro ng marami pang “pabigat” para maging solid ang foundation. 👍

Let’s Play The Name Game: I Am CHRISTine

When I was young, I don’t know what came over me when I asked my Mom how come I was the only one among her five children who wasn’t named after them, our grandmas, and our grandpas.

My eldest sister has my maternal and paternal grandmas’ names in her 1st and 3rd names. My second sister has my Mom’s name for her second name.

My third sister has the combination of my Mom and Dad’s names for her 1st name and our great grandma’s name for her second name. My brother has the names of my Dad, my maternal grandpa, and my paternal grandpa for his 1st, 2nd, and 3rd names consecutively.

Me? Well, my parents told me they ran out of relatives’ names to name me after. Poor me, right?

Who Am I?

So, how did the young me respond? I was sullen and bitter. Well, what could you expect? That was pretty harsh for a grade-schooler to take. And the great revelation never stopped there, of course.

They told me I was adopted, which explains why my brother (born before me) and I have a 5-year gap. What’s worse, they told me I was thrown by an “unknown mother” over the fence in our backyard.

You see, we have two adopted cats back home who went through exactly the same situation. Maybe that explains why I felt closer to our adopted cats than my siblings. We can relate with each other and it’s like I am more bonded and have a deeper connection with them.

So you know how this picture went. The teary-eyed baffled me was looking for a defender. And of course, I looked pleadingly at my parents and siblings. They were all laughing. Ahhhh, cruel, cruel family. Tsk, tsk.

Okay, before you start to believe everything I am sharing, this is the part where they reassured me that it wasn’t the case. And they provided more ‘substantial evidence’ to prove their point.😁

The Real Deal

My Mom went on to explain that I was born in December, which is Christmastime, so they retained the word “Christ” in my name. My second name was lifted from the Hawaiian “lei,” which is a garland of flowers presented upon arrival or leaving as a symbol of affection.

But explaining that to a child still won’t have that much bearing – I still felt left out. I found it easier to accept that I was adopted. Why? Because it wouldn’t change anything. I am grateful that my parents now gave me a better life and such a wonderful family. Not a day passes by without me thanking God for this greatest blessing.

A Better Chance At Life

And I’d still thank my biological Mom (if ever) for making the most difficult and painful decision of giving away a child. A child whom she carried for 9 months in her womb, went through all the hassle of labor and childbirth, then left her baby to people she doesn’t know but she believes can give her child a better future.

Because she made the right decision, and that makes her deserving of the honor given to any parent who wants nothing more but the best for her children, and more importantly, for giving me a chance at life. But no, I wasn’t adopted. So let’s cut this here.

A New Identity In Christ

Going back to the name game, am I still resentful about my name? When I became a born-again Christian, that all changed.

If my siblings tease me now, I have the greatest answer as a defense:

“I am a daughter of GOD, because I have CHRIST in my name (and in my life), and He is the Great Father who owns all the heavens and all the earth. Therefore, I will inherit all the heavens and all the earth. Beat that. Ha!” 😂

“Therefore, God elevated Him to the place of highest honor and gave Him the name above all other names…” – Philippians 2:9

Yes, CHRISTine is thy name. And indeed, as ABBA sang it, “the winner takes it ALL.” CHRIST has won it all for us. 😉

img_2006

Truly a sister in Christ and God’s daughter,

P.S. If you’re a parent or a parent-to-be, do prepare an answer when your kid asks your choice for his/her name. 😃

 

 

Living For Christ

I am no saint, I am a sinner. Yet sinners are the recipients of the blood shed on the Cross. It is with so much gratitude and honor to have this humbling experience of being forgiven though not worthy of a life sacrificed for all the sins made.

Yet God is a God like no other – the only God who can love and forgive always. Thus, I carry a new name – forgiven.  This is the reason why we can always proclaim that He is faithful even when we are not faithful even to ourselves and our promises. God is different because He fulfills His every promise. This is how He teaches humility and gratitude which makes us appreciate what we have in this life and who we are and should be living for – Him.

If we are to become Christ-like then we have to relinquish all that ties us to this world and live a life worthy to be called as followers of Christ. I often ask myself everyday if I am giving God justice with how I live now. Am I obedient to what He has instructed on what I should relinquish and how I should live my life according to His teachings in the bible?

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Matthew 19:21

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” – Matthew 6:19

“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” – Matthew 6:20

How did Jesus Christ lived His life in this world?

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28

How can we serve inside the comforts of our air-conditioned homes, in our BMWs or Cadillacs or in our OOTDs, or the famous cuisines we have tried or the places around we have visited? What do we know about what the rest of our brothers and sisters are going through if we are so focused on ourselves and strapped in our comfort zones and our selfish desires?

Mother Teresa. She made God proud because she lived what it is to be Christ-like – serving the poor or those who do not have any means to help themselves. How many of us are willing to become like her?

My struggle now which has been ongoing for years is something that I do not see anymore as a matter of accomplishing something. Finishing my masteral thesis made me realize that God brought me in it not to finish and accomplish something that this world dictates as a standard – a degree/title. But I see it all now as a journey of faith just like everything else. God is testing my faith and teaching me something along the way. My only question to God is, “Lord, how can I be of service to You and to these children with disabilities if you have placed me in this certain field of education?”

The season of waiting for answers never mattered anymore. I know God will give His answer in His perfect time. The Spirit was there to guide me all along each and every single day which, I know, is God’s way of preparing me when it is time for Him to deliver the instruction.

We all  have something that ties us to this world – possessions, careers, lifestyle, etc. It is so hard to let go of them if all our lives we have learned to live this way. But as this bible verse says,

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Are we really a new creation? Are we really living what it is that God has commanded us to do?

Instagram, for me, is a community of worldly stuff from OOTDs, bling blings, gadgets, etc. – it is the world that is full of temptations. I do not hate Instagram per se. I love it actually because it is now serving as one of my mediums to share the gospel everyday and to set an example to the community how to appreciate the things that are God-made and not those that are man-made and avoid temptation.

I am hoping to infiltrate Instagram with faith and a lifestyle that is Christ-like through my interests which are nothing more but serving my husband through my passion for cooking; photos of flora and fauna being a nature lover; a simple, controlled way of living; and not too much selfies (because I am not self-absorbed and I look the same everyday). 😀

When it comes to faith, most of the time we have to be bold enough to break cultural barriers set forth by traditions and break away from worldly standards. What does this bible verse mean?

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2

Patterns/customs – they are what we call the worldly standards. What are they specifically in this modern age? Vanity (selfies and make ups); greed (materialism from gadgets, OOTDs, accessories, cars, houses, etc.); pride (promotions, certificates, titles, licenses, awards, etc.); lust (pictures of men and women scantily clad); envy (desiring what others have, sharing for the sake of “likes”  and the “follows” ); and a whole lot more of worldly standards that we have to break.

Self control is hard. I am honestly having difficulty in this area. It is like having a withdrawal syndrome wherein your one self that says go have/do it battles with the other self that says no don’t do/have it. Like one instance, I was grateful to be a recipient of a gift, a material one and my old worldly instinct came rushing in to post it on social media.

But the Spirit says, “No Tin, that is boasting and that is being materialistic and we know you will be promoting greed, pride, envy and the wrong mentality when it comes to appreciating gifts given by God. Do not post it. God knows how grateful you are with it. You need not seek the approval of others but seek His approval.”

So I wanted to post a selfie because of this new Snapchat trend. I tried it once and I found myself itching to post all filters I have tried. Okay, the Spirit once again said, “No Tin, you are being vain. Appreciate yourself for who you are and how you look like without those filters. Breakaway from being self-absorbed. Rest in the fact that you are already precious and beautiful to God filtered or not filtered. This is a worldly temptation, resist.”

Yes, every day I have to battle with those worldly temptations. To be able to do that, I need patience and I need to be content. Patience is self control and vice versa. Without those two hand in hand, being content is impossible to achieve. I am just grateful the Spirit is there to rebuke me all the time. You know that “tug”  when you felt that something is not quite right and you are having second thoughts most especially when you are weighing the pros and cons. I suggest go for the pros always – follow the Spirit.

So who is the Spirit? Well, in the bible it says that,

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” – John 14:26

My parents are the first persons I know who made a breakaway from a cultural tradition – baptism of newborn babies. When my husband and I went to visit my parents in my hometown last summer, my Mom was able to explain fully why they chose not to have all 5 of us kids be baptized when we were born – my Dad and his family are a devout Catholic (my Dad’s brother is a priest serving in Rome) and my Mom and her family are a devout Protestant (my great grandfather was a minister and one of the founders of the church).

She continued that both my Dad and her wanted to give honor in their respective religions thus, they left it all to God where all 5 of us will grow in our faith. I believe God was pleased with it for it was an example of setting aside their personal agenda and selfishness and chose to honor God instead by honoring in us this one great gift that God has bestowed us all – free will. Just like when Abraham sacrificed his son not knowing what will happen after, so did my parents by sacrificing us though there is a possibility we will all be led astray without a firm foundation in faith.

But God can never let that happen, God will never betray the trust that my parents have on Him. I believe it is part of God’s plan that circumstances will align and make good use of the free will that we have and will mold us into choosing faith that is beyond religion per se – something deeper, something personal and something that lasts – eternal.

This next one might be off topic but since we are talking about breaking away from traditions, I just want to share what I told my husband the other day. I was having these migraine attacks again for the last couple of days and I do not want to take any medications as it impedes my period. But two nights ago I had the worst migraine that I can’t help but cry the pain out. I am grateful that my husband was there to pacify and comfort me and insisted I take the meds, which I did. So I thought about death.

I told him, “Honey, when I die I don’t want people to be mourning over my death. I also want to be cremated and 3 days are enough for close friends and relatives to pay their respect. But I just want all to rejoice over my death. Be glad that I am already with our Father in Heaven. There is nothing else that will make me happiest but to inherit a place in the Kingdom of Heaven. Rejoice that I am already free from pain, suffering, heartaches and all corruption of this world. Be glad and also look forward to the time when all of you will be joining me there.”

Nobody said that it is wrong to rejoice over the death of someone you love. Yet it is also a standard that grieving and mourning should take place over a loss. If I am to physically leave this world then I have to let the people I love have peace in their hearts which will also grant them passage to claiming what awaits when our mortal bodies turn to ashes.

Yes, break away from the tradition of feeling fear and the sadness that cripple most of us when it comes to death. There should be no mourning. Have peace and be glad that those who will leave this world and who believed in life in eternity and have claimed it are now in the safe haven of our Father and have been snatched free from the stronghold of the enemy forever.

Jesus had that kind of faith until death that is why death has no power over Him. To live in Christ is to have the same attitude and faith as He has,

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16

Live as what Christ has asked us even if it means fighting for faith every second, every minute and every hour of the day every day. Do join me in the revolution of breaking worldly standards through the best weapon that God has in this world, the Spirit of Christ living inside the army of believers – us. 🙂

(Copyright to the owner.)

The Christian From Bicol

(This is an excerpt from this post I wrote back in November 2013 during Typhoon Yolanda. I thought this particular content deserves to have its own separate article with a different title this time.)

Wherever God would take me, whatever God would give me, I will bring with me two identities: first, I am a Christian, and second, I am a Bicolana.

I can never be prouder of anything I have and whoever I have become other than those two I have mentioned above.

Why a Christian? I am nothing and nobody without my God, first and foremost. My identity is in Him, and I believe I need not say more as it is what it already is. 🙂

Why a Bicolana then? Ahh, this is most likely where I’ll be explaining more.

I grew up in the province. I spent more than half of my life there. As of writing, that is. There’s no other place that I could ever call ‘home’ except Bulan. Yes, that is my hometown, a small town in the province of Sorsogon somewhere in the southernmost part of Luzon.

Sorsogon consists mostly of coastal areas surrounded by beaches of all sand colors from white, pink, to black –  you name it, we have it. Rich in natural resources, fishing and farming have been the sources of livelihood with almost all the Bulanons (that’s how we generally call ourselves).

Fishing

Fishing

If there is one value that being a Bicolana has taught me, it would be this – knowing your roots. In other words, learn to look back from your humble beginnings. Bulan is the one thing that has taught me how it is to be humble and to be grateful. Humility bespeaks when the heart is in awe of the mediocre. I know you are going to agree with me right there.

I came from a family of farmers. My parents, my grandparents, and the parents before them all came from humble beginnings. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them. Gratitude is what I could offer to my ancestors for the sacrifices and hard work that they have invested in providing the best for their families.

I came from a generation wherein I didn’t have to go to the fields and do the farming myself, and go home with sweaty clothes covered in mud just to pay for all of my expenses and supply my needs. An experience I never had to go through, and yet something that I would want to go through.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles along with my grandparents.

CIRCA 1980s: My mom, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents.

They say that for someone to appreciate the value of something less than its market value and more of its sentimental value, you have to work hard for it and have it like how it is usually done and achieved. You have to sweat it out, so to speak.

I was listening to the podcast of Pastor Christian Flores regarding Victory’s new series entitled “It’s Not About The Money” two Sundays ago, and he mentioned the story of a farmer and how this farmer had invested his earnings in acquiring an even bigger barn where he could store more, which actually resulted in his own destruction.

That made me think about our farm, our farmers, and what we really get from it. For starters, our farmhouse did not change, though many years and decades have passed. We are earning just enough, and we are still living frugal lives, though we have acquired some possessions through time – still, I think it is not about the money. Money, for us, is something that has to do with survival, but never to accumulate great wealth and live grandiose, rich lives.

I might be speaking out of righteousness here, but if you will personally ask me, that is how I think it should be. I do not wish to dwell on this matter then and will just leave all the explaining to our Pastors as they lead us on with the series – a reason for you to stay tuned for our upcoming podcasts or better yet visit a nearby Victory church: http://victory.org.ph/. (Sorry for the shameless plugging, but I felt you would understand it better if the explaining would come from our church leaders).

victoryqc.org

victoryqc.org

This is the season of harvesting, and when I went home during the holidays last November 1 and 2, I chanced upon the last harvest in our farm. I have skin asthma, and as much as I should be staying away from hay, I know it would not stop me from going along with my Dad. I suffered the consequences later on – my cough got worse, and itchy rashes came out that lasted for about a week, leaving black spots on my skin, which then stayed on for about how many months.

The last time I was with my Dad during harvesting was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I could still remember how our parents would ask us (not really me, as I was way too young, but my sisters and brother) to help in drying the “palay”  we had harvested so they could be sold to the millers for a good price before they then sell it to the market.

Yes, how could I really forget all the scurrying here and there, to and fro, when dark clouds come, and heavy rains start to pour. It only means sweeping the grains, piling and covering them up as FAST as you can to prevent them from getting wet, thus lowering the chances of getting a low price as “palay”  buyers measure the moisture content of the rice grains. The drier the grain is, the higher its market value.

Palay

Threshing of palay.

My Dad is not a farmer per se. He is a civil engineer who juggled two occupations at the same time – that of a farmer and a superintendent at the National Irrigation Administration in the Bicol region (officially at San Ramon, OIC in Masbate and Sorsogon City). He is now 74 years old, retired from his engineering career, and yet a continuing farmer. I have always admired my Dad, who, at his age, still manages to do what he would always do at the farm despite his arthritis, gout attacks, hypertension, cataract, and other illnesses of the aged. Although we don’t dry the harvested rice grains anymore to lessen the stress level of all the scurrying and hurrying, tending the farm is still a lot of busy work to do.

I went to the farm with my Dad not to harvest the grains myself and have them threshed out but witness how it is usually done. I have to get into the particulars as to how to do this and that. Well, I might consider farming as my job someday. Yes, “Tin”  the farm girl. *wink*  I think I heard my Kuya’s sarcastic chuckle back there again. Haha Yeah, right. And yes, I wanted to observe how our farmers do it – our trusted and loyal workers. I admired them more than I have admired an office employee (no offense to office-based workers). But hard labor is no easy job. Exposed in the heat of the sun, bending over for hours either planting rice seedlings or harvesting them, soaked in mud or inhaling the itchy hay dust when threshing are, for me, among the most challenging tasks.

I closely looked at all of them. I saw Tio Digoy and Tio Kadog – they are the oldest among all of them. They have been working for my Dad since I was a kid. Now, their sons are working for us as well. I have learned to love them for all that they have put up for me and my family. I am praying that through us, their sons, daughters and grandchildren will one day have a better future because of their parents and grandparents’ hard work. Though that means we might lose workers in our farms, it would also be equivalent to giving everyone the chance to have better lives than what they have now.

I am praying too that someday there will no longer be a need for manual labor and everything will be run by machines operated in a clean office from planting to harvesting rice. That goes as well for harvesting coconuts and converting them into copra. The team of Tio Digoy also does them for us. Skilled, they really are. My family and I will always be grateful to them. We will always be grateful to Him for any blessing that He has bestowed as well as for His guidance and protection not just to me and my family but to our skilled workers and their families as well.

Copra

Coconuts being made into copra.

So if most think this is what I do in Bicol:

Nope, that’s not it because this is what I usually do:

"Tin, The Farm Girl"

“Tin, The Farm Girl”

Quite the opposite, right? Well, aside from washing the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the pets, etc. and having a little vacation time actually. We have no helpers or house maids back home and here in Manila, by the way. As it is written in the bible:

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” – Matthew 10:45

Let’s all live a life of servitude, shall we my dear brothers and sisters? 🙂

Courage: The Brighter Side

If there is one thing that faith, the church, our family and the spiritual family all point to, that would be to look at the brighter side of things. 🙂

The first few months of this year have been a struggle for me and my husband which includes everything about life in general i.e. careers, aspirations, adjustments, financial breakthroughs, settling differences, goals, etc. More trials turned up for the month of March which drove me to devote full time to gospel reading, bible study devotion and quiet times.

There were a lot of times that I asked God for guidance, courage and strength to withstand them all as there are times more often too that I felt like everything is a mess, in chaos, uncertain of what the future holds, and all I ever did/was doing was a mistake. Little did I know that God has everything planned out for me already – all I have to do is to be still.

In times of extreme trials, it is the Word that I turn to and it is prayers that held me through. I tried to find snippets of things that would give me hope and I just smiled when I realized how could I be so blind or how could I let my problems blind me from the Truth.

How could I not trust God at all? How could I speak so much about my faith when I can’t even rely on God’s power and greatness which rule this world and beyond?

Yes, as I have said in my previous articles, when it comes to faith you really have to make an affirmation each and every single day. Life is all about God, faith, and nothing else. As my brother would always tell me, “Life has always been a battle of faith.”

Speaking of my brother, God used him as the instrument for me to know what faith is all about, introduced me to a spiritual family which then helped me get out of the pit I was in and finally led me to my salvation. As our church leaders would instruct us, salvation is just the start of your spiritual journey. As much as you have been renewed, being a born again Christian does not exempt you from the perils and sorrows of this world – faith has only made you and your life storm-proof.

It was all God’s plans. As you begin to understand that every single day of your life comprises the millions of routes in God’s blueprints will you realize that it was God who brought you where you are now. But because most of the time our human selves do not have the capacity to explain our circumstances, we rely on them as what they seem to be.

Yet being the all-knowing God, He knows that too. This is probably the reason why He has already prepared us and what we will be needing through the next course of our lives here in this world. Going back to my brother, he and my sister-in-law have been the constant givers of my Paulo Coehlo planner since 2013, the year I got saved, as a Christmas gift – something that I am always grateful for.

Not that I am advertising but I believe God has aligned it to be this way – why I should get hold of this certain planner. This planner, aside from this blog, holds my day-to-day scribbling in my spiritual walk. It contains the verses of the day, my bible study devotion, my Our Daily Bread quotation, my prayer requests, my gratitude note, my problems and my breakthroughs.

What I love about this planner is that each month there is a value/character trait assigned to it and it just fascinates me that these character traits as well as the quotations in the pages depict so much of what I  have been going through.

There is no coincidence in God, something which I have learned since I got saved. I see this character trait as the one trait that I know God wanted me to have at that particular month/time of the year. It is just that I have to wait at what particular day of the month will I be needing this particular character trait.

For the month of March, this is the character trait: SURRENDER. 🙂

 

SurrenderPC

How timely, how accurate, how helpful – amazing our God is, isn’t He? He knows everything. The general quotation for this month also reveals much of what I needed in my marriage.

The first blog post I wrote for this year was entitled “An Appreciative 2016” simply because I felt that this year will be full of trials and yet we needed to see the beauty of them all. One of my experiences that helped me see things in the Light was after completing a crucial life-changing event which was a test of patience and endurance. After the event, this was what I received from my Mom using my Dad’s number (my Dad always replies in the vernacular):

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My Mom is the authoritative type of parent. We don’t have the warm and cuddly mother and daughter relationship. YET, I have so many things that I should be thankful for when it comes to my Mom. For though we are so far away from each other and all my other siblings have their own priorities too in life and I used to live alone, my Mom just nailed it when she stressed out what I should be appreciating – the gift that God has given me which is a partner in life through a husband.

I smiled when I read it and of course, I can’t help but cry. Yes, I seldom receive text messages from my Mom because they are busy managing our house in the province and our farm, but when she does text, it is always something special – meaningful. Just that single text jolted me back to not see the negative things in my marriage but look at the brighter side of it.

I know I am not alone because I have learned to rely on God completely for the first two years of my life since I became a born-again Christian and I was living alone. I have devoted those two years in establishing a deeper and more personal relationship with God. God knows I needed that so when great trouble comes in the later years of my life, I know how to go back to Him.

Because I already know the Way, the Truth and the Life.

It is just that God reminded me that He gave me a husband for a reason and that once again, when troubles become overwhelming, SURRENDER. Just like how I surrendered 3 years ago. And after my “dark moments”  post on Facebook, I received a text message from an unidentified number. I am guessing the person is one of my sisters or brothers in Christ who have been touched by God to fulfill the role of being part of those “reminders.”  My extreme gratitude for this person whose heart belongs indeed to God. Praise God for your life my dear brother/sister.

And this was the text:

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Our spiritual leaders in church, at home or anywhere else in our society have been called by God to receive the gift of prophecy. My Mom is not a devoted Christian but she believes in God and the bible and if there is one trait that I would like to learn from her, that is having a foresight. As a kid, she would always refer it to us as ESP (Extrasensory Perception)  or being able to determine what a person will do next or knowing what will happen next. It is “sixth sense”  to some and foresight to many. As a born-again Christian now, I see it as having the gift of prophecy. She told us that we should learn it and cultivate it for it will become very handy in our future plans and how we do things. Yup, practical my Mom really is. *wink*

My brother’s foresight is now almost similar to my Mom and we sometimes tell him that maybe he is the one who got it all from Mom. I am guessing it is this foresight that made him give the Paulo Coehlo planner to me in the first place and the significance it’ll bring in my spiritual journey. If I am to compare my Mom and my brother, they have one thing in common – they see things differently than all the rest of us. To me, I see all darkness and blur and yet to them, they see the beauty of it all, the goodness of the darkness and the events that will follow after.

Now if I am to compare it with faith, it says the same thing – train ourselves to see the Light. You can only see the Light when you see things in a Godly perspective. That is, allowing God to take over in driving the path of your life. Again, SURRENDER.

During the bad times, I oftentimes try to take control in solving things out. During the bad times, I see my spouse so differently and very much in the dark. But my Mom, the text message, and the monthly character traits, they all point towards the Light.

I have maintained my calm even if I do not understand all things. I have accepted things for how they should be. I have to be content in patiently waiting for the beautiful promises of the Lord. I know the Lord remains faithful to those who surrender to Him and walk in obedience to His ways.

As I end this article, I just want to share that indeed, God has mysterious ways in changing your mindset about a lot of things. Negative things can really replace the good memories, the good times, the good qualities you have if you will allow them to. God cannot allow it even if you persist to think things that way. The way that He gave me hope is the assurance that things right now are never final, they are only temporary in contrast to what is to come.

I woke up today feeling still very sleepy. My husband asked me if we are ready to pray and I just nodded half awake, half asleep. Through the sleepiness in me, there was one word, just one word that woke up my spirit in full blast through his prayer – REFLECT. I never prayed about the coming Lenten Season. Here is my husband though praying about it and how we should spend it together – REFLECT.

This is the perfect word on how we all should commemorate what Jesus did on the Cross for us -an act of SURRENDER, to surrender out of His Father’s and His love for us. It is this love that is keeping this marriage together, it is this love that is changing me and my spouse as a person, and it is this love that is changing our lives every single day.

It is by God’s love that I have been saved, that my husband will be saved including our families and loving another person through a marriage is where God wants us to learn the basics of what love is. When God’s love is in our hearts completely, we can say with utmost boldness that nothing can ever compare to God’s love and who God really is.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

God knows that 2016 will be full of trials that’s why God reminded me of that at the start of the year. The character trait for this year in my planner and what I will be needing most is this: COURAGE.

This is the courage to be bold in defying the challenges, courage to seek the Light amid the darkness, courage to stand true to my faith whatever the odds and the courage to proclaim my faith all the more despite my imperfections and setbacks. 🙂

CouragePC

I Was All Wrong

Tin Ginete

Seeing the red despite the grey all around.

Let me share to you a little secret. It is a secret because there are only 2 people, me and a closest friend, who knows his real name.

Yes, him. Not my fiance though but a guy I met in church before I met my fiance.

I was going through a tough time 3 years back. I just got out of a terrible relationship then faith was introduced to me.

They say that a gaze, a penetrating gaze, can send multiple messages without even speaking. That is how I got to know him. He was single, I was on a period of recovery and enjoying my single life again and there was this Singles’ getaway.

I blamed that gaze we had with each other. That single look that sent something down to my soul – a look that I could not forget. But, at that time I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I wanted God to mend my heart first and listen to Him when He says that that guy is the one for you. Besides, I cannot base my emotions solely on a meaningful gaze whatever the message may be.

I felt it, he was interested. I can tell by his actions that he is. But I acted as if I didn’t notice him, that I am not interested. Because I am not yet ready to be in a relationship.

A year passed. I would see him in church every now and then. I waited. I was patiently waiting for him to make the move. What I felt for him didn’t change. I wanted to know him more but it is not appropriate for me to pursue him. It’s not a woman’s role.

I prayed. I included him even in my faith goals. I would check his profile every now and then because he is my friend on Facebook. Well, there’s nothing much to see in his profile but I still would check it. Stalker mode on, yes. 😉

2 years passed. I was becoming impatient. I asked God to give me a sign if I should hold on to that special gaze he and I shared. I asked God if I should hold on to that certain feeling I have for him. Though I can’t say it is love but I can tell it is something special.

Then the sign came.

I checked his Facebook profile, I saw a picture. He already has a girlfriend.

Ouch. I got the answer. It hurt me a lot. All those two years of waiting ended up in vain. I was so broken again that the urge to delete him was so tempting but I know it was not right. I just unfollowed him so I would not see his updates in my news feed.

I cried a lot, it was another heartbreak. I asked God a lot of questions. Why do I have to feel those emotions with him if we will not end up together? Would things be different if I somehow showed him a sign that I am interested with him too? Would it have made a difference if I made a way to get to know him? Why didn’t he pursue me?

I had no answers, I was in pain. But God slowly healed me again. Way faster this time because the Spirit is already within me. I just learned to accept things the way they are. Then better opportunities came along and I started to think of him less. But he was the only Christian guy in church that I had a crush on. 🙂

A couple of months later, I was back to my lively self not worrying about anything and moving on from the past. I met my fiance. He is a Christian but not as devoted as my crush. But the attraction was also there.

He pursued me, we went out on dates and I got to know him more. I included him in my faith goals too. I asked God to give me a sign and to prevent me from making a decision that I will regret later on. He laid down his intentions and I said yes to be his girlfriend.

Our relationship didn’t start as smooth sailing as I expected and I had a hard time inviting my boyfriend at that time to join a bible study group in our church. He declined but he does go to church with me. Every time we have a conflict I would always point the reason why to the idea that he is not so devoted when it comes to faith.

Then I would ask, was it a mistake that I chose him? Am I now suffering the consequences of making that mistake? But God would always assure me I am where I should be. If it was a mistake, God can still turn it into something beautiful so long as He sees we are honoring Him in the relationship.

But I am starting to lose hope and yet when he proposed, I said yes. I felt it right at that time. And I believe God was asking me to stay. But I was so disillusioned by the thought that I was unequally yoked. I would even pray to God if it will really work out. But God told me to trust Him.

Came an opportunity wherein I asked my fiance over the phone just last night with this, “Honey, if ever you get rich, what would be the first thing you’re gonna do with your money?”

The answer that came made me smile with gladness:

“Ever since I was in high school, it was my dream to donate to our mother church so we can have it air-conditioned and add a second floor because I owe it to them the faith I have now.”

It was an answer that I wasn’t prepared to hear. I couldn’t reply for a moment and when I did speak, it was only a “wow” that I could blurt out followed by another pause. And more smiling. 😀

I need not think anymore that he wanted to please me that is why he said it nor his sincerity for saying it. He said it with his own words without me giving a hint what kind of answer is good for that question.

I was tongue-tied at that moment because God taught me to never underestimate His power and grace. I know it is God who touched my fiance’s heart. It was so different to hear him say such things. And I know that everything that happened in the past was all part of His plans. Nothing is ever a mistake when you rely on God and not on yourself or anybody.

And I now have the answers re my crush. I wasn’t really prepared to be in a relationship back then because it was only in this relationship now that God is preparing me. I cannot be a best partner if I am not at my best and be complete in God. And I only get to appreciate what it means to be a Christian and how it is to be a Christian in a relationship just now.

I told God that after a violent breakup with my ex boyfriend I don’t and I cannot see myself able to love again as my heart will grow numb because of the pain.  But what I felt for my crush was God telling me that I still am capable of loving a man. And that it is not my fate to be forever single. He prepared my heart at that time so to speak.

The future is so full of beautiful promises. I can see that. God, I know, lets things happen amazingly and surprisingly. But what I am expecting and hoping now might not be what God has planned. And that is why He wants me to trust, obey and hope in Him – completely, come what may.

Who knows, one day I get to say this again: I was so wrong all along. 🙂

Imperfect But Keep Trying

My sharing the gospel is intentional. It is not for popularity nor to appear as the good, blessed, perfect girl. I am not that. Because my Fb, Instagram and Twitter accounts all serve as a testimony of my walk in faith through ups and downs. Not just the good stuff. 🙂

Bible verses and quotations on faith rarely get people’s attention. That is our culture and that is why the more that faith should get a voice on social media.

If you are a believer, share your faith. What we are afraid of is that when we make a mistake again, we might not be credible enough in sharing the gospel anymore.

But here is my challenge:

Did God tell us that our mission is to back down when plans fail and things go bad? Would God want us to hide behind the sins of our past and live in fear and condemnation? What if our failures are the work of the enemy to hinder us from fulfilling God’s mission for us? Who will we give the glory, God or the enemy?

 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

FIREPROOF: How To Make Any Relationship Last

This is an all-time favorite of mine. I have seen this movie for countless of times already and I’ve been crying over it for countless of times as well. 😀

It is not your typical romantic, fairy tale kind of movie. In fact, the movie is just too realistic to dismiss that you’ll find yourself relating to every single part of it.

But in general, this is a movie on relationships and how God makes all the difference when He is at the center of it.

More tissue rolls, please. 😉