10 Things I Have Learned From Men

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"His and Hers"

1. Never ask your boyfriend/husband “Ms. Universe” questions when he is sleepy or about to sleep because he’ll surely give you either an answer he didn’t mean, he will give you a silent response or he will sleep grumpy.

2. Men hate bringing a big, bulky and heavy baggage if there is no need so most likely he will hate you for bringing your whole room and your whole world inside your bag every time you have a date and he’ll have to carry it.

3. When you ask them how’s your cooking and it is bad, they’ll give you uncertain answers – neither a yes or a no but if it’s good they’ll shout a “Busog!” afterwards even if you don’t ask them how was it.

4. Men don’t care if they accidentally worn their shirt inside out even if you tell them they have worn it the wrong way.

5. Don’t let them ask for directions, they will just continue getting lost or they’ll ask a different question.

6. They hate nail polishes that only 1/8 are remaining on your nails.

7. With the 1 thousand not-so-important things you have told him, only about 10 will he remember.

8. They love tinkering new stuff without reading the manual first.

9. They just love inventing their own lyrics of a song.

10. Waking them up is not a problem. They cope well even if it is a disturbed sleep.

P.S.

Men pray short, concise prayers. Women pray long, dramatic prayers. 😉

(This article does not totally represent men in general. I arrived with these conclusions as observed from the men in my life: my Dad, my brother and my fiance.) 🙂

How To Become A Woman

A battle of the sexes a.k.a. understanding the female psyche it is. But then, there cannot be a comparison at all – men and women were created differently. And yet, I have the following questions for us to ponder:

1. How do you become gentle when you have been trained in your university as a college student to be assertive and to be outspoken in your thoughts and opinions?

2. How do you learn to be dependent when you have been taught as a kid to survive for survival’s sake?

3. How can you be submissive when you have been used to living alone taking matters in your own hands i. e. decision making, responsibilities at home, planning, etc.?

4. How do you follow when you have been trained to take the lead?

5. How do you unlearn everything you have learned?

It was all written in the Scripture what a woman’s role clearly is – the Proverbs 31 woman. And as much as it is not my duty to question a law that has been made hundreds of centuries ago, I can’t help but wonder if such laws are still applicable today if a lot of things have already changed in context – socially, culturally and politically.

The definition of what a woman is and should be has radically changed all throughout the years. Thus, could there be a possibility that some pre-conceived notion of gender may already be considered as irrelevant today? Or a paradigm shift is required to re-align our thoughts to what was previously dictated?

Questions. They need not be answered. Or perhaps they will be answered. It is all just, once again, a matter of waiting.

Culture has a way of creating ideals and mind sets that in time become a barrier too solid to break. For a man it is, but with God, it is possible. Just like how things were before, now and in the times to come. 🙂

April Full

Tin Ginete

An escape away from the city.

Yup, it was so full. Not about April Fool’s Day though. 😉

If you have noticed, I don’t have an entry for the entire month of April. That is because I was swamped with a lot of activities last month, I only got to “breathe” and check my blog now. I still am a bit busy but not as hectic as compared with the sched last month.

So first things first.

My sister arrived from Norway and decided we have a family outing and relaxation this summer. But before that, we met one of our titos, my Dad’s brother, Tito Cesar and my cousin Arra for a get together/ lunch at Escolta then the day after it was followed by a family dinner with the family of my brother’s wife.

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Lunch with Tito Cesar and Arra at Escolta. 🙂

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Dinner with the Silvestre family at Pinac restaurant. 🙂

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Pinac Family Day

For our family summer outing this year, my eldest sister chose Luljetta Hanging Gardens located at Antipolo as she personally knows the owner and it is just an hour away from the busy metro.

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My eldest sister, Ate Faye. 🙂

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One of their infinity pools. This one is the biggest.

When we got to the place, I fell in love with it. The scenery may not be as spectacular as I have expected but if you opt for a quiet place where you could commune with nature and be rejuvenated, this is exactly the place to be.

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He is…errr…uhmm….contemplating? Perhaps. 😀

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Side of the infinity pool.

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Restaurant that caters local and international cuisines.

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The Zen lounge.

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A place to sit and relax.

I recommend this if you, your friends or families intend to have a retreat. There are quotations and phrases that uplift the heart and soul as you pass by the trail.

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The garden.

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Love is….

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Uplifting quotations everywhere.

Guessing by its name, the spa and hanging gardens were carved and placed right on the side of a mountain. It was the architecture of the place that, for me, made it awesome.

But there is one restriction though that this place may posit – there are trails that are far too steep, it will not be convenient to those who are old enough to climb a hundred stairs.

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Steep stairs, by the cliff.

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Reading nook.

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Cabana

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The jacuzzi.

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Sauna and jacuzzi.

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The other infinity pool. This is perfect for kids.

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Inside the Buddha’s lounge.

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Intricate interiors made from raw local materials.

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The way to the lounge.

But the good thing is that if you wish to use the spa only, it is easily accessible by anyone. Only the infinity pools, the sauna, the hydromassage pool and the Dr. Fish are situated right down below the hotel. Their restaurant is also located at the terrace of the hotel.

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One of the Dr. Fish pools.

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Tin Ginete

Hydromassage Pool

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Hydromassage Pool

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There goes the heavy downpour! 🙂

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Hydromassage pool.

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Bubbles are everywhere. 😉

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Perfect for back aches.

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Lunch time.

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Adobo.

The hydromassage pool and Dr. Fish are new to me so it was the first thing that we tried when we got there. It was a very funny experience for us so I took a video of all the fun. 😉

The hydromassage pool can be compared to a big jacuzzi and there are two bars that have rainshowers-like splatters pouring out. I wasn’t able to experience getting drenched under a heavy downpour, not even when I was a kid, so this experience was one of the most memorable I must say. 😉

The place is perfect for couples as well on a honeymoon as geographically, you won’t be able to see other visitors coming here and going there except perhaps during the peak season.

We were able to have our spa session a few minutes before the sunset. So we chose the outdoor massage and they usually conduct the session in a nipa hut of your choice beside the cliff overlooking the cityscape. It is just the perfect time to relax before dinner time or in the case of my parents, they scheduled a session a couple of hours before bedtime.

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Our merienda, one of Antipolo’s delicacies paired with lemon grass iced tea before the spa session.

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Goodbye city life for now.

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It is spa time. 🙂

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The outdoor massage nipa huts.

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Flowery

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The restaurant at Taktak Hall.

Another first-time experience that I had is being in a seat that goes up and makes a full 360 rotation. It is called Dream Twister and one of the newest attractions at SM Mall of Asia.

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Sunset walk before trying the Dream Twister. 🙂

My fiance and I are always up for challenging activities and so I asked him if we could try it together. And of course, how could he say no? 😉

So up we went and it was the most exhilirating experience I have had. I think it is even challenging than doing bungee jumping or sky diving because the seats rotate then goes up and down, fast and slow. Imagine being held by a giant while he is walking and he is swaying his arms – that is the exact feeling. It was so fun I definitely will try it again. 🙂

Tin Ginete

Let the FUN BEGIN!!! 😀

And of course, the highlight for the month of April was my brother’s military wedding. I have been one of their witnesses how their union as a couple started. They met through the singles’ getaway in one of our churches, Victory Fort, and as they say, the rest is history.

My sister-in-law is my brother’s first girlfriend and I have so much admiration for my brother for he stayed true to his commitment when he told me that his first girlfriend will also be his last as she will be the one he is going to marry.

Here are some photos during one of the best milestones of their lives together as a couple:

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Me and my sisters, Ate Ayn and Ate Abeden. 🙂

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The princesses of the Ginete family. 🙂

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All the ladies in the house. 😉

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The Ginete fam bam. 🙂

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My mom. 🙂

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The Casis family missing the owner of the uniform. 😉

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Me and my ever goofy fiance. 😀

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The retired civil engineer and retired grade school teacher – my parents. 😉

I believe that it is also God who fulfilled that commitment for him until come that day wherein my brother is now in front of God making one of his greatest commitments – the Holy Matrimony.

I just feel blessed and grateful that I now look up to them as the couple who may not have the perfect relationship but persevered to keep it in reverence to the Lord and His beautiful promises for both of them.

Having said that, I will leave you with this video which captured their most special moment that no words could describe. 🙂

It Was His Birthday

I only had the opportunity to share this special moment here just now and my reason for sharing is that this blog of mine might be the only e-memory I have of moments I make and will be making. I might have amnesia, short term memory loss or I might get into a car accident and lose all memories I have, etc….. well, we can never tell. 🙂

His birthday was last May 4th and last year, I made a pencil sketch of him as a birthday gift.

Brian Rome

“Mi Amor” (9″ x 12″ Pencil Sketch)

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May 4, 2014

And for this year, I thought about doing something different. I just used the poem I made for him and gave him when we first met.

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Blanket of Love by Tin Ginete

This is the link of the poem which is the acronym of his name:

https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/blanket-of-love/ 

And here’s the finished output for his birthday surprise this year and biblical quotations about love from 1 Corinthians 13. Let the love begin…. 😉

Love Is the Greatest

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

God of Wonders

Have you ever wondered why we have pebbles and not just big rocks?

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Pebbles

How about flowers made from all sorts of sizes, shapes and colors and not just one?

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Bromiliad

Why is it that a tiny creature such as a bug, has such a beautiful, golden green color as its shell?

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Golden Bug

Colossians 1:16 NLT

“…for through Him, God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see–such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through Him and for Him.”

“He works in mysterious ways.”

How often do we hear this phrase? Very often to most of us and maybe to some this will be the first time you will read about this. In this article, allow me to let you delve deeper how God works and the amazing things that He has done not just to me but to the people around me. As much as I want to keep all things private in my personal life, I believe God wanted me to share some of them as a testimony of His Grace and His Love.

If you are to read my previous articles, it’ll give you an idea what are the current struggles that I am going through. And yes, I was on the point of hopelessly giving up. I am engaged and my fiance and I were planning to tie the knot next year. The quicker the time passes by, the more conflicts arise, the more challenging the trials become.

One of them is saving for the wedding. We both wanted a simple and intimate wedding for two reasons – it wouldn’t be costly and we wanted to share it with those who know us really well. But I am in this situation wherein I could not contribute anything to the expenses with the meager allowance I am getting out of my sister’s generosity to help me finish my graduate study in UP. I am in my last part of my graduate study finishing my thesis and I was advised by my thesis adviser that finishing it will require me to go full time in my master’s degree meaning I cannot get married this year or get a job.

I can only hope for my fiance’s savings at work which are not enough. We attended the Marriage Preparation seminar and it was discussed there that leaving your spouse to work abroad and earn enough to provide for your family is not the solution. You have to be with your spouse always because that is the commitment you have made when you got married – only death can do both of you part. My fiance considered about this option of working abroad. It became one of the conflicts we had to deal with. He was determined, I tried talking him out of it but to no avail. Until I came up with the decision that we would have to cancel the engagement for the meantime then pursue me again when we are both financially ready.

He doesn’t want to sacrifice the relationship over a career abroad. And yet both of us have no clues how to get married without having to borrow any single cent from anyone. We both agreed to just take things just as they are, leave them be and trust God for provisions. But sometimes it doesn’t come as easy as it sounds – pressure from friends and families asking about the wedding can sometimes be the cause of again facing that conflict wherein temper gets loose, impatience creeps in and negativity overtakes our thoughts.

Every night I would pray and I can’t help but cry out my pleas for help to the Lord. I waited but no answer came, we are still both in the same situation. But it was during those times that I did nothing but pray every morning and every night, devote more time to bible reading and gathering all devotion I could get. I know it is only through His Word that I will get my strength and courage and not give up. I always keep in mind that this relationship is different than my previous relationship because God gave me this when I was already a Christian – this was not a mistake. I will use my free will to honor God by honoring the commitment and by holding on to the beautiful promise that He wanted for both me and my fiance – to fulfill the Holy Matrimony.

Then came more conflicts which involves the families, attitudes, habits, relations with other people, priorities, the past mistakes, temptations, goals – every weakness we both have, God brought them all out into the open. The relationship was like a battle ship attacked from all sides by canyons, tossed to and fro in the sea.

But there is a God.

And I was grateful I was saved. One time when we broke up, someone from my past (an ex boyfriend), contacted me after 2 years of no communication. 4 years ago, we broke up violently to the point that I attempted to commit suicide, never had the chance to apologize to each other and yet I thank him for he is the reason why I got saved and I am where I am now. Exactly the time that my fiance and I decided to call things off, my ex boyfriend called me past midnight and told me he was dared by his best friend. I can tell that he was a bit drunk and this is what he told me,

“Tin, I am leaving for Australia for good. I just want to tell you that if you haven’t been too possessive on me, I would’ve married you.”

His best friend, in the background, shouted this, “You rocked his world!”

Well, I don’t know if I should be happy with what I heard but I took it as our formal closure. I could not remember if I got the chance to apologize because I was tongue-tied – he was telling the truth. Because exactly at that moment when my fiance and I broke up, it was for that very same reason, AGAIN. After he said his goodbyes, I can’t help but cry.

God, at that moment, was telling me that I need to learn from my mistake or I will end up losing another person I love and a precious relationship that could have been lived out beautifully. It was a sign to save the current relationship I have before it is too late – a reminder. It was my being possessive to the point that I was jealous of everyone around him that ruined the relationship and I could not enjoy my moments with him anymore. God does not want me to go through the same mistake because He has saved me from that already.

Ephesians 2:10 NLT

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

I know I am being put to a test right now – to prove that indeed I am new in Christ and the old has gone. It is through my fiance that God was finishing the work that He began in me – how to learn to trust someone who has a past as dark as mine and yet is not yet devoted in his faith. But I know too that through the tests, God will always be with me to make sure that I overcome the greatest weakness I have – my insecurities. I was just amazed that God reminded me of what I wrote in the placard during my Foundations for Victory class’ last day presentation.

Foundations for Victory is a month-long class after your water and holy baptism which we call in church, the Victory Weekend. Its purpose is to equip you in your spiritual journey by establishing your faith with the biblical foundations. And last night, I took a photo of what I wrote in the placard which was the old me before salvation versus the new me after salvation:

Tin Ginete

Only God can make you feel secure. 🙂

Philippians 1:6 NLT

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

I can tell for certain that this relationship was given to me not to see me fail again but God wanted to help me overcome them consequences now that I am already saved. But my question was always this, “Father, my fiance is not a devoted Christian, how can we make our relationship work if You are not the center of his life?”

Again, I was basing everything on what I see and hear, not trusting God and His plans. I always rely on my own understanding and yet again, I was reminded:

Proverbs 3:5 NLT

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”

During the Marriage Preparation seminar, we had a workshop wherein the couples have to answer a set of questions and these are the questions.

 1. Is it God’s plan for me to marry? Why? How do I know this?

2. Is it God’s plan for me to marry the person I am with? Why? How did God reveal this to you?

After answering, I told my fiance that I am not going to read his answers at that moment, I’ll just read them during our wedding. But after the several conflicts we have had and on the verge of losing hope for the relationship, I re-read our Marriage Preparation booklet and I stumbled upon our answers – I read my fiance’s. I got another confirmation from the Lord – we both have similar answers. And his was even more beautiful:

1. “Yes. God wanted me to experience His blessings (having children and a happy family) because I am His child.”

I cried, I was humbled. I was so wrong. How could I even doubt his faith when faith is a personal relationship with the Lord? It is between you and Him. How could I be so doubtful, so assuming, not trusting the Lord and His plans? How could I judge him so wrongly?

But then, there came the enemy filling me again with doubts: Are you sure your fiance wrote it sincerely? Or he was just playing along with the questions and he knows what answer he is expected to write to please you?

Doubts. Enough with the doubts. Enough with the deception that the enemy has been trying to lure me ever since. Enough with my insecurities. I know my God. My God is the greatest God and He will do anything to keep me and my faith. I may have fallen at times but right now He requires me to stand and fight for Him until my last breath – put into practice what He has taught and trust in the Spirit’s leading. It is not for me to know what happens in the future, He just wants me to trust and obey.

And God stayed faithful and just. For His wonders never stopped there. It was at this point that my fiance and I had the biggest miracle we could ever imagine. I was on the point of sacrificing my master’s degree so I could follow him when he works abroad just so we would not sacrifice the relationship, or he works abroad, I stay here and finish my master’s degree but sacrifice the relationship. Tough decisions to make they are, and yet God gave the answer – better opportunities at his workplace. It was our only hope.

My fiance was reluctant at first if he will get it, but I told him to take the chance. Told him God will give it to you if it His will for you and if you sincerely pray in your heart that you want it because we both need it – not for ourselves but for Him because we wanted to honor the commitment, we are willing to make sacrifices to uphold that commitment. I told him that prayers are so powerful if you believe in every single word that you have uttered in that prayer and believe in God. So there we were praying for each other, encouraging one another when making choices prove to become so difficult.

John 16: 24

“You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.”

And then….YES, it was given. At that moment, I cried with joy. How faithful indeed is the Lord! My fiance gets to stay with me, I get to finish my master’s degree, we both can be secure with our future. He indeed deserves all the honor and glory and I will forever be thankful to my Lord, my Savior.

Doubts may creep in that it is not meant to be but I will continue hoping and I will continue praying. I always pray that God would protect both of us from the attacks of the enemy for I know there are forces in this world that contest that which is good and pleasing which came from the Lord. As it is written:

1 Peter 5:8 NLT

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

The kind of salvation that I am praying for my fiance may not be what is happening now. But it is only for God to know what happens in the future. All I know is that both of us are being transformed every single day to become the persons that He wanted us to be teaching us the essence of what it really means to be a Christian – to have patience, to have peace, to be faithful, to love selflessly, to sacrifice, to endure, to forgive, to be prayerful and most of all to know God personally and deeply through our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I could still remember the early times in our relationship and after the first few conflicts, I shared to my sister in Christ whom I admire deeply on how she handled her relationship and is now happily married, that my fiance is not yet devoted in his faith. And her answer was, “Be patient, Tin and pray.” After all this and what is to come, I can only be so very grateful that I have a God who is this:

Revelation 1:8 NLT

“I am the Alpha and the Omega—the beginning and the end,” says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.”

And with that, I know I am secure. 🙂

A Time For Everything

Tin Ginete

Tinkerbell Barbie and a wristwatch.

There is always this question that if a fairy gives you a chance to go back in time, what would you like to change. The answer is oftentimes a thing in the past that has to do with regret of not doing something you wanted to do either because you didn’t have time or you didn’t feel the need at that time.

The bible serves not just as our guide in daily living but more as a source of hope. I have found all the verses timely in moments of despair and yet it is in Ecclesiastes 3: 1-14 that I found my moment of surrender and peace always. Which means I read the verses always. 😉

I have thought about sharing these verses hoping they might help you too when the need arises.

A Time for Everything

“For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.”

What’s In A Goodbye

“What is in a goodbye?”

It is to depart, to move away, to leave. But what does this word really hold?

Goodbye is having enough from the constant lies after lies casually said.

Goodbye is hopelessly groping for an answer to the retort “Why listen to the Pastor, is he the one you are going to marry?”.

Goodbye is being fed up in the temptations being entertained.

Goodbye is spending more time in another kingdom making memories with them instead of making your own together.

Goodbye is a battered ego because of persecution and name-calling during heavy fights.

Goodbye is a deep pondering what will happen to your family if too much time is spent playing online games.

Goodbye is too much of something wrong that you thought at first was worth sacrificing and enduring but later realize it has to come to an end.

Sometimes the only option is to surrender it all so God can completely take over and take control.

Being at peace – God instructed us this.

It was a week of being disconnected from one another as a couple. Until now I still am not ready to go back to how we were.

But on his end, nothing has changed. The “I love you so much” and the “I miss you” were there every single day. Apologies were said but I was pushing him away and yet he chose to stay.

Which made me question my actions. Am I acting out of pride because my ego was hurt? Am I being selfish? Am I retaliating? Am I punishing him? How long am I going to be like this to him? Am I really doing what the bible says about forgiveness?

I got the chance to share our status with my fellowship group and sisters in Christ, mostly single. They were astonished that even engaged couples still break up. And I told them that yes, couples break up and get together a thousand times in the entire duration of their relationship. Even more so when your relationship is gearing towards marriage – the more that the enemy will try to break apart that beautiful promise of God for both of you.

And their answer was something I wasn’t prepared to hear – a note of gratitude because they, too, are learning from me and my relationship. I wanted to cry for they didn’t know that they are one of the reasons who give me strength and my motivation to uphold to God’s promises and hold on to the commitment.

I was made being overly empathetic and my heart pours out to each one of my sisters in Christ. I love them and my constant prayer is that God will lead their hearts and give them the same strength and boldness in spirit to never fall away from their faith no matter what happens in their relationships.

And when I woke up this morning, I do not know the reason why my pile of clothes went tumbling down as I opened my closet and some clothes still continue to fall down after I piled them up – yes, frustrating. And yet God made me realize at that moment what faith is all about – make your foundations strong, otherwise, you will crumble when shaken.

While stacking my pile of clothes for the last time patiently making sure the bottom parts are well-stacked up, this verse came into my mind:

 1 Corinthians 1:8 NLT

“He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

God did not ask me to leave everything behind and start anew but to have peace in the midst of turmoil. For God works more powerful in times of trouble and despair than in happiness and contentment. And I believe that is what He wanted me to learn. For that is what He has already said and it was pre-written:

John 16:33 NLT

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Just like this new and modern chandelier. It will stay hanging in the ceiling for as long as the structure of the building is there. Time will pass it by, it will look old, tattered and worn out but its foundation will still remain. 🙂

Tin Ginete

Swing like a chandelier.

When East Meets West

How do you make opposite ends meet? A positive and a negative always repel. Same as good and evil. As with everything else that are opposites in this world.

Let’s say two persons coming from exactly two different backgrounds met and fell in love, how do you keep them together?

The only answer is this: only God can.

But what if God revolves at the core existence of one person and God is “just there” for the other?

Now this is where things get complicated. I have been with my spiritual family via the church for only about a couple of years. And I have seen how faith can bridge distances and cultural differences regardless if you are rich or poor, pretty or not, intelligent or not, educated or uneducated, etc.

And yet, as I go through my devotion and bible reading everyday along with the Spirit’s guidance, the thought that faith and hope indeed only come after love is always reiterated. It is love that makes every relationship work.

Yes, passe.

But I guess this is the part where I would stress out that the love I am talking about here is not the kind of love that everybody is familiar with. Nor is it even the ones that we see on romantic movies or we read in romance novels. This kind of love, as most Christians know, is love that directly points to God. The kind of love that is so hard to achieve.

This was the kind of love that God has been teaching me for this season. Not only for my partner but for his family and the other people I met through him. I do not want to judge. But for the sake of understanding where my point is coming from, I’d have to describe some characteristics that I have observed.

Being a Christian is not a name that you flaunt around. In fact, being a Christian entails deeper, bigger and heavier responsibilities. An unbelieving spouse, for one, can cause conflict in the relationship when persecution becomes present in the relationship because of differences in religious beliefs and practices even though both of you are Christians but only one is a believer.

Values, manners, upbringing, lifestyle – they all become factors affecting how a couple will run the relationship if God is not present. They become a baggage that both couple had to carry and only then can you realize that without God, you will lose hope in enduring the sacrifices you make, the consequences you had to face of a mistake that you did not commit, restoring relationships and facing persecution.

For example, how would you feel if on a Good Friday, you were invited by his family to go to a bar and grill such as Pier One instead of staying at home, praying and pondering on the sacrifices made by Jesus Christ on the Cross? I would’ve chosen the latter if I have the choice, but at that time, I unfortunately do not have that privilege. My heart screamed. I wanted to rebel, to cry out and say my “NO.” But I know all I can ever do is to pray for the Spirit’s leading instead of complaining.

I did not drink any alcohol though they tried to offer me some. I ate, I tried to listen to the band performing until came the moment I could not bear it all I contacted the first spiritual mentor I have – my brother. And his suggestion was for me to stand firm in my faith and endure it all. He told me that maybe that is the reason why God put me there in the first place. To let them see what it is to be a Christian not only by name but in action, in words and in faith.

And then the situation reminded me exactly of what Jesus did on the Cross – He endured everything not uttering a single word complaining or a word expressing His discomfort. Except only when He asked God why He had forsaken Him. Now a lot of verses filled my head such as this one:

“For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in His steps.” – 1 Peter 2:21 NLT

And then you thought that is the only conflict you had to go through. Come familial attachments and values that are a barrier too high and too solid to break. I was on the verge of persecuting and judging others. Yes, I was beginning to feel hopeless and yet God never failed to remind me how it is to REALLY love despite the differences, the persecution, the suffering and the pain. I was led to verses and biblical quotations day after day supplying me the Godly wisdom that I needed. And sometimes the effort does not come from my own anymore but God supplied even the strength and the courage that I needed to muster.

This was one of the quotations that I felt God was talking to me directly at the time that I needed it most:

“Be as patient with others as God has been with you.” – Our Daily Bread

I know God will fight this battle for me. I was only a soldier and He is my commander. On my end, He requires me to be patient, to endure and to follow where He leads me. It is not for me to decide whether I win or lose. But I have the assurance that fighting a battle with God will surely end in eternal glory – something that this world can never define. God will never give something that will break you and your faith apart. For it was His plan to send His son on Earth and it is Jesus’ role to come before us and carry our sins, the barrier between man and God, so we can receive the gift of salvation and have a personal relationship with Him.

It is just amazing how God uses people, circumstances and resources to fulfill the mission He has set out for you. Indeed, they are all part of His much bigger plans that our mere mortal minds can never comprehend.

Looking back and pondering now, the only question that I remembered asking God so many times was this:

“Father, why is it so difficult to love people the way that You have loved us?”

And my constant prayer in this season was this:

“Father, teach me to have eyes that see the good in people and the heart that loves them the way You have loved them.”

The answer is always a personal encounter, a conviction or an instruction. One answer came through my hobby in sketching – my very first sketch on faith, Jesus and the crown of thorns accompanied by the following verses:

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” – Romans 8: 1-2 NLT

Tin Ginete

Jesus, My Savior