This article is in response to the latest news regarding a student from a certain university (I’ll be discreet with the names as a respect to the student and the school) who bashed her professor online after receiving negative remarks on her research paper. Though it earned multiple varying responses, I believe there is a purpose why it needed to happen.
Some pointed it out as the professor’s fault. They say it’s a sort of projection wherein you place your insecurities on others and make them take the blame. As critics, there is this danger of falling into the same trap that you, yourself, tried so hard to avoid. You also have to meet the standards you try to implement so you’ll be credible enough to criticize others based on those standards. If you correct someone because of faulty grammar, for example, make sure you’re also grammatically correct all the time.
As this bible verse goes,
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” – Matthew 7:1
This is difficult to follow especially if you’re in a situation where it is part of your job to criticize other people’s work just like a teacher. I believe any position in any profession requires that you give a critical feedback.
I guess this is the part where I will be giving my advice to students in any academe that every teacher’s feedback is not for the purpose of shaming or belittling you but to teach and prepare you to what you will encounter when you graduate from the academe and start living in the real world.
You’ll face a lot of those criticisms every single day of your life when you go out there.
Image Copyright: Huffington Post
Here’s one way to deal with criticism in light of outputs and deliverables. Put yourself in your critic’s shoes first, understand where the person is coming from, and don’t take the comments personally.
Instead, review your work and ask yourself these questions:
1. What did I do wrong?
2. How can I do what my professor/boss asked me to do?
3. How can I improve my output so it’ll meet the standards of the teacher/school or boss/company?
Always think of criticism as a way to make yourself better, not just academically or professionally, but holistically.
For the latter, this is the question to ask yourself: how did I respond in those moments?
This is where I will come in as a Christian and why I wrote this article: Sentimental: Who Am I? back in 2016.
Think of it this way. Let’s say we have this rat experiment and we’re going to study how it behaves given a stimulus. The stimulus is a piece of cheese. If we put poison on the cheese, most likely the rat can’t discern it. Instead of avoiding it, he will react otherwise. He’ll eat it because vermins lack what humans have – the ability to rationally think and discern. So if the rat eats the poisoned cheese, most likely he’ll die – because he lacks discernment. This is the consequence.
If we are to apply it to humans and let’s assume criticism is the stimulus, how do you think a human should react? When you react to criticism negatively, it’s literally poison to your body. How? Being angry, distraught, depressed and all release so much cortisol (stress hormone) in your body which can actually kill you in the long run. The only way to avoid that poison is to use discernment. How? By discerning how you will react to the stimulus – criticism. You cannot avoid criticism, that’s a given. But you can avoid feeling negatively when you receive them.
Well, you might say, “Tin, that is so hard and impossible to do.” Yes, it takes a lot of discipline to change your perspective on criticism but you have to do it. How can you start?
First, you have to be very receptive and always carry that teachable heart. I used to have this very stubborn and adamant attitude which can be traced back to my having an ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and God changed that in a pretty painful way wherein I still suffer the consequences of it now. But it’s also one critical moment that made me to who I am now. I’ll share more of this in my next article.
In my work now, I receive a lot of critical feedback having 4 to 5 people who edit my output to the point that I even got to hear our CEO’s feedback (jitters! lol). How did I receive it? I consider it a privilege to receive a feedback from our CEO regardless if her feedback re my work is all negative or on red marks or she’d reject my entire output altogether as junk.
I may not know her personally, but I look up to her (I admire girl bosses) because I know she won’t be a CEO if she isn’t qualified and if she doesn’t have all the experience in the industry. God placed her there for a good reason and I actually would love to know what she has to say and what I can learn from her regardless of her background, age, etc.
Next, when receiving criticism or any kind of feedback, have an open mind. Don’t let your emotions intervene right away. If you’re in the middle of work when you got that feedback and you know what you’re going to read isn’t good, take a break first. Get a breather for like a minute or two, get water or coffee, go to the comfort room, wash your hands, do something else to clear your head, then come back and read the feedback.
If you’re going to read it and you know you’re not emotionally prepared i.e. you’re tense, you’re in a hurry, you’re in the middle of a task, most likely you will respond negatively. Why? Because you’re not in the right state to process your emotions while reading. When you don’t process your emotions right, always, you’ll mishandle the situation.
For the students, before letting any negative thought about your teacher and the feedback fill your mind, re-read your work and the feedback multiple times. Don’t react right away like how can she say this, how can she do this to me, this is too harsh for me, etc.
Honestly, when the same incident happened to me back in college along with all the red ballpen marks on my research paper, I felt like my whole life was shattered. I felt miserable. I vented it all out to my Mom and she comforted me by giving me other options to choose from. I wasn’t a Christian yet back then but I believe I was silently praying for God’s help from a distant heart. 😀
But no, those criticisms are not the end of your dreams or your life. It will break you but you have to be firm. You need it for more of those disappointments and failures you’ll encounter later on in life. Resiliency is the key. Nobody is perfect and everyone goes through that. You’re not the only one and you’re not among the selected few who gets to experience it. Nobody is exempted.
Take it as a CHALLENGE. Prove to your critics you can be better, you can improve, and you can meet those standards. But even after trying you still failed, then look for other options just like what we did back in college. Maybe God doesn’t want you to be there and He has other better plans for you. Now, in this case, it is all between you and God already. You need to ask Him what He wants you to do.
In my case, my previous research adviser came from a different department and they have a different approach when writing their dissertations. The way we did it obviously did not meet not just her standards, but the criteria set by the department as a whole.
We presented our dilemma with our department chair at that time because there’s no way we can pass the course since it’s not from our concentration. It’s as if we’re trying to learn everything from scratch. It’s a good thing she gave us an option which was our window of opportunity and yes, our hope to graduate and have that bachelor’s degree. That option though required we have to wait another year before we can work on our thesis because the thesis adviser from our concentration is on sabbatical leave.
In our university, you can only extend 2 years (undergraduate programs) to finish all your academic requirements. We already used up 2nd sem of our 4th year for that thesis course and got a conditional grade which means we have to retake the subject. Waiting for a year means letting two semesters pass by (5th year, 1st semester and 5th year, 2nd semester).
Again, we were only given 2 years as an extension under the MRR (maximum residency rule). This left me with one very critical situation, the last year (6th year) is my make or break moment. I only have a year to complete my thesis otherwise the college/university has no other choice but to kick us out, be college dropouts or transfer schools.
That very last sem was a very trying but life-changing moment. An office staff from the college secretary’s office sat down with me, discussed my predicament, and laid out the college’s terms and if I am in agreement with it.
I can only thank God for giving me the right adviser this time, the right resources for my research topic, and the courage to fight it all out no matter how difficult it is. It’s like you dread every day that passes by because it means your lifeline in the university is also decreasing and your chances of being kicked out are getting higher.
God loves you and He is always with you.
Yes, I have proven this from that crucial moment of my life as an undergraduate student because all the rest of us who were in that difficult ordeal made it through and got our diplomas. ❤
If I did have hangups over this before, I no longer have them now. I already let this all out when I had my water and Holy Spirit baptism back in 2013 when I got saved and became a born-again Christian. It’s enough to change my perspective on everything in my past, let go of the guilt, and forgive everyone including myself. I know you can do it too. 🙂
If you’re going through a similar situation like what I went through, I hope these verses will encourage you and help you understand how it is to obey God and trust Him with humility in everything:
“Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which is from God. The authorities that exist have been appointed by God.” – Romans 13:1
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
If you’re also a critic, then these verses might also help you deal with a situation like this:
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.” – Ephesians 4:15
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” – Ephesians 4:29
Always remember that we can never change or prevent the awful circumstances that will come along nor choose the persons we will meet. But we were given the freedom to choose how we will respond in those circumstances.
Did you go through the same ordeal? How did you manage all the criticisms you received? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories how you overcame them.
With much love and always fighting for faith,
P.S.
Here’s a screenshot of our CEO’s response just in case you’re wondering how it went:
I can only thank God for the grace in helping me come up with an output that more or less meets my boss’ standards. I am actually doing it for God because this is my key verse when doing something as an act of service:
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” – Matthew 7:12
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:40
But whether I get a negative or a positive feedback, I’d still be grateful. Why? I already went through the same ordeal back in college and I came out alive. All future circumstances similar to that one will no longer break me, I know how to deal with it better this time. Yes, I owe it all to that college experience for giving me this resilient and humble attitude. And of course, faith. Also, we all need a rebuke every now and then. The bible has this to say when it comes to that,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.”
Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?… – Hebrews 12:5-7
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