The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I could still remember the week prior to his engagement proposal.
Everything around us was chaos, conflict upon conflict, sin upon sin, piling up higher and higher. Then came the snapping point – our mediator, God, stood between us. He called for a time out before things get really rough and things get worse.
5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke our routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days it was all just God and me, God and him.
I thought of it as being in a detention room, only me and God and He was clearing the issues out personally, one by one – a reprimand, a rebuke, a renewal.
And yet God showed mercy by keeping His promise – an open communication between me and him. We obeyed His instructions, we valued what would honor Him. We met after a week and it was love all over.
The engagement proposal happened.
Things were doing well. Then planning came here and there. Preparations are everywhere, aligning of priorities were highlighted. Emotions started to build up, conflicts came again, sins erupted yet again, higher and higher once again.
Then came the saturation point – God once again stood at the middle as the mediator. God is again calling for a time out before things get worse, before ruining completely anything beautiful in the relationship.
5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke the routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days there was just me and God, him and God.
Once again, God has showed His mercy by keeping His promise – the communication was there, no one burned bridges.
On the night of the 5th day which was last Sunday, I reached out to him regarding a pressing concern in our business venture that I know he can only relate. He called, I answered. It was love all over again.
He wanted to see me but I can only suggest that we pray to God regarding that.
He said, “I love you so much…You do know how much I love you…”
I said, “Yes, I do love you so much too. But let’s take things one at a time for now – we need not rush anything. We need to trust God and put Him at the center. First.”
Now I understand. 🙂
God is faithful in His promises. The reason why He gives us a time out is because when conflicts seem to cloud almost the entire relationship and we become absorbed with the problems right in front of us, He would pull us out of the situation, away from further harm, so we could see the bigger picture.
He wanted us to see the good in the relationship even when things get really tough – by realigning our thoughts with His. He wanted to make things right and it can only happen when we surrender everything to His will. When things happen prematurely, God knows there will be pitfalls and storms and yet by His love and mercy, He gives the grace for us to bear it all and come out intact and whole.
My ex fiance once told me, “You cannot judge me and my faith because faith is a personal relationship with God – it is only between me and Him.”
Silence.
He was right.
For now I see that yes, God sees the intentions and conditions of our hearts and it is because of that that’s why He didn’t allow our circumstances to harden our hearts and protected us from destroying one another because of pride, bitterness and anger. He made us see the power of prayer, forgiveness and most especially, love. He allowed us to communicate still.
God kept His promise, the ongoing communication was our hope. It is now in our choice if we will claim that promise.
And yet I believe God does not just intend a week this time for us to master that peace, have complete healing and set things right through a Godly perspective. He will restore things when the perfect time has come and when we are both ready. Something that can only be achieved by trusting in Him completely day by day. 🙂
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT
Today marks the last day of our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.
Today I declare FREEDOM. 🙂
thebottomofabottle.wordpress.com
I am claiming to be free from the stronghold of the enemy and I declare living a spirit free from condemnation, guilt and impurities.
When you are saved, you will always go back to that moment where you felt free and at peace. No place here on Earth can give you that except the Cross. With all the pain, the agony and the trauma, it is sometimes difficult to stand up and yet you know deep within yourself that you can never ever go back to who you were and into the darkness.
Eat, Pray, Love: A Woman’s Search For Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia is one of my favorite movies and books about faith, hope and love. I can totally relate to Julia Robert‘s character in the movie (Liz) and yes, I also came to this point:
There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in.”
–Elizabeth Gilbert; EAT, PRAY, LOVE
Calling out to God in prayer is the best way to be saved – to have a new life, a new start, a new spirit. Faith in God by trusting Him with all that you are and all that you have will lead you closer to Him and He will assure you and protect you with His presence and majestic power. Yes, some call them “miracles,” others “magic,” some “wonders,” but as for me I call them as God – the living God. 🙂
My Paulo Coehlo planner that my brother and my sister-in-law gave me last year as a Christmas gift played a huge role in my day to day spiritual journey for this year. And sometimes I just smile for yes, the quotes exactly describe what I am going through and/or what I needed to do.
July: Magic Moments
The month of July is an art work of blue, my favorite color. Blue signifies peace. And the phrase for this month is “MAGIC MOMENTS.”
This is also the quotation for this month:
“Anyone who pays close enough attention to each day will discover its magical moment.”
– Paulo Coehlo, BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT
My devotion of the day in Our Daily Bread shares a similar thought – it is about “A Flying Miracle.”
“O Lord, how manifold are Your works! In wisdom You have made them all. The earth is full of Your possessions.”
– Psalm 104:24
Our Daily Bread/July 2: A Flying Miracle
And I just came across this music video by Big Daddy Weave entitled Overwhelmed which will speak so much of what God has made me see over the past days, weeks, months and years.
Yes, my July will be magical. Magical in the sense that I am believing for God’s miracles to take place. He already started it last night which I can refer to as my “revelations day.” And I believe it is not the last that He will perform. I know I am in for a really “magical” ride for this month. One of the verses for today’s prayer and fasting devotion assures me of that:
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act.””
– Psalm 37:4-5
It was Grace that brought me to my knees, it was Grace that lifted me up and it was Grace that taught me who is GREATER.
I can only proclaim my freedom knowing deep inside me that no other god is like my GOD – the One who redeems and the One who saves. I am just excited for what God has in store for me. Yes, that’s how much I LOVE MY GOD. 😉
The following is the main verse for our mid-year prayer and fasting and while browsing through Eat, Pray, Love movie clips, I stumbled upon a music video by Mercy Me.
Please read the verse with your heart and watch the video – a perfect way to end this article and our mid-year prayer and fasting. To God be the GLORY! 😀
“Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am’…”
I knew that I cannot sleep this day off without sharing what happened tonight. For I believe they are all part of God’s revelations.
But first, I’d like to praise God for blessing us with spiritual leaders who took the responsibility of making sure we were all led “home” – in spiritual victory. 🙂
Last night’s prayer meeting at Victory QC in Regis Katipunan, Bishop Manny Carlos said that there will be tangible assurances from the Lord of His presence during this Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting. And this article will be a testimony of that prophecy. For I claimed it and believed in it. 🙂
6pm is the time I lift my “cellphone off” ban and I prepare for our 7pm prayer meeting. Last night, hailing a cab going to church and my travel time were easy. But tonight, it was a challenge. I got out of the house and saw that heavy traffic started to build up in front of our house. I waited for 15 minutes but no cab was available. I haven’t eaten for the rest of the day and I thought, this might be the enemy trying to prevent me from attending the prayer meeting.
Unfortunately I am not just a warrior but a conqueror. For God trained us to be that, right? 😉
So I walked one block to get to an intersection hoping I will have more chances of hailing an empty cab but then again to no avail until I have decided to ride a tricycle going to a nearby mall. Taxi stands are everywhere there. When I got to the mall, oh boy, one taxi stand has a long line of passengers waiting. So I went to the other side of the mall where there are lesser passengers waiting. A lot of empty cabs stopped in front of me but when I told them where I am headed to, they declined.
I am on the verge of quitting out of desperation. But no, I am determined. For I would always keep in mind that the only time I will not be in church is when I am dying and I am physically incapable to move. Yes, never say never. And sometimes, just like in the movie God’s Not Dead wherein the two ministers are having a hard time finding the right car for their vacation, faith is all that God was asking.
So yes, I thought why should I worry, God is in control now. Let things be and keep calm. If it is His will for you to be there in church, He will take you there in His perfect time.
Finally, a cab passed by, passengers got off and one passenger waited until I got in before closing the door. I thanked him and I thought, “Father, this must be it.” I mean let’s admit it, there are only a few gentlemen who are willing to open doors for the ladies now. But I am praying God will change that. 😀
Anyway, I got inside the cab, told the driver I am headed to Katipunan, he said yes and finally I felt relieved. But then it was cut short – Xavierville Ave was in such heavy traffic I thought I will arrive when the prayer meeting is already over. But c’mon Tin, never say never. Never ever give up on God, keep your hopes up.
So there I was at the back seat trying to keep myself mentally afloat and physically present yet spiritually in control. Then came the first of the revelations. Something caught my eye from the passenger’s seat door near where I am seated. Wow, Father. Is this you? 😉
Brian Joseph Taxi
Of all names, of all taxis, of all times, of all dates, must I ride a cab that has a name exactly like that of my ex fiance except that you just have to interchange it – his full name is Joseph Brian Rome.
Now I sure did laugh. I am not sure if the taxi driver heard it but I took a photo of it for documentation purposes. Well, all I ever said was a prayer in my head that “Father, if this came from you, I already am relying on You COMPLETELY.”
I am letting go of the things that You wanted me to let go and yet if this is the assurance You are giving me that losing someone to God is never really a loss then again I can only and will only HOPE in YOU.
Okay, so there went my conversation with God. But then, came this music from the taxi’s radio. And guess what that song was? It’s our love theme song – All of You Loves All of Me by John Legend. So below is a short video clip I took with the cab’s name. I cannot capture it long enough lest the driver might be distracted by my phone’s camera flash.
And so I laughed again and silently said, “Oh c’mon now Father God, you know that I love you and I can ONLY love you for you are my EVERYTHING.” And seriously though I thought, if the enemy is playing with my thoughts then I’ll show him who God really is.
I was about to record another video but when I looked up, I happen to stare at one of the food cart franchises by The Filipino Dream (formerly Filtrepreneur Franchise, Inc.) that my ex bf and I ventured on – Kambal Pandesal from San Miguel Mills Incorporated. And I thought, okay, now this is getting serious. Because I really thought the business was going to fail and it is not God’s will for us but I still prayed for it. This was a sign that God is giving me hope and to just wait a little more. So I took a photo of it while we were on standby mode.
Kambal Pandesal by San Miguel Mills Incorporated
But then, here came another surprise. The song that followed John Legend’s song was One of Us by Joan Osborne. Are you familiar with the lyrics? If not, here is a sample and of course I took a video of it.
“If God had a name what would it be? And would you call it to his face? If you were faced with Him in all His glory What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great Yeah, yeah, God is good And yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the bus Tryin’ to make his way home?”
Whew! I am all smiles before I even get to the prayer meeting. Yes, I was 20 minutes late but I believe God intended I get stuck in traffic so I’d have time to observe things around me and appreciate that really, IT IS ALL ABOUT GOD. 🙂
So came the prayer meeting, we prayed for our campus missionaries and ministries and it was not a coincidence my prayer group that I randomly joined in happen to be ALL educators who are taking up their graduate study. Yes, exactly just like me. And we were praying for the students in the campuses. Yes, sometimes smiling because of these wonders around you is all that you can do. 😀
After the prayer meeting I waited and hailed a cab and when I got in, I checked my phone. 2 missed calls from my ex bf and a txt msg. I read the txt msg first and wow, this was what I read:
Praying for this business venture.
The business deal was successful, we were able to help a future business partner put up their own food cart business and I was blessed too on the other hand. Praise be to God! Now this, I must say, I am already proclaiming with my utmost entity that my God is indeed the everlasting, magnificent God who saves, protects, loves and provides. I still will continue praying though that by God’s leading and grace, this will be successful. I am committing to the Lord’s plans in this venture.
Oh Father, I want to shout your name aloud right now to praise and honor You for Your Glory. But it is a full moon, I won’t do it lest I might be accused of being a lunatic. In Your perfect time and place though. 😛
So I texted my ex fiance as he is my business partner – a reason for us to talk in a casual, friendly manner. But in case he asks me to take him back and start again, I am afraid my heart is not yet ready for it. I have forgiven him but the time is not yet right to re-commit with him. I am not closing my doors though. I am just happy things were going well this time now that I have decided to give my all to God and to Him alone. 🙂
When I was about to get off the cab, I looked at the cab’s fare counter and it was 78.90. I have no smaller bills so I thought I’d just give my 500-peso bill and ask for a 400-peso change. Yup, I usually round it off (sometimes a little too high) when I pay my fare. Sort of helping them too from the extra.
But this time, the cab driver told me he doesn’t have enough money for my change as he only has 300 pesos at the moment for he just started taking passengers tonight.
So there goes me rummaging my bag for smaller bills to pay the exact amount and was glad to find 70 pesos. But I am still 8.90 short. I told the driver, “Manong 70 pesos lang po ang barya ko. Okay lang po ba?”
He didn’t hesitate and just easily answered with an “Ay okay lang po ‘yan Ma’am.” And I just thanked Him and thanked God for meeting a good soul back there. 😉
Oh what a night of my second day of prayer and fasting. I will eat my first and last meal of the day and pray to God for more of Him tomorrow, last day of the prayer and fasting, before I hit the hay.
But one thing I can promise, if these were distractions (for tonight’s prayer meeting focused on discerning distractions), then definitely the enemy failed. For I have already made a re-commitment to my Lord and my Savior – way solid this time. I will continue praying that God will unveil my eyes from any deception and lies placed before me by the enemy and lead me towards the Truth.
Discipleship is a lot like social networking in modern times except that the former is Christ-centered and the latter talks about anything under the sun. In social networking, topics could range from anything to anywhere whereas with discipleship, the topics could be about anything too except that the conversations all have one common major theme and everything is being related to God.
But what is most common between the two is that you establish a relationship with different people. This brings me to my current situation now. I used to wonder or let’s say I far too often wonder why circumstances have brought me to a position wherein I am not in a cubicle or a room doing an office work or I am not following a certain routine though I am and I consider myself a young professional.
Priorities and circumstances never went as clear and as smooth as they can be. There always are conflicts, heavy decision making and a lot of pondering. But then again, through all those myriad of swimming thoughts came the answer that I never considered before: God wanted me to do something at this point which would require me to be flexible in terms of time and commitments.
It was clear to me what my mission was: to share. If I am tied with an 8-hour job, I’d have no time to share all of these. And in my case now, I can only maximize social media. But then again, it was social media that brought me opportunities wherein the possibilities of networking is endless. It is like there is no stopping it once you get started. And I see those opportunities as a wonderful avenue to connect with people online and offline using my faith and introduce them to it.
Step 1: Choosing the subject/finding your mission.
Right now my water loo is in the area of relationships. It is the cross I am carrying daily and yet I know I cannot let it hamper the mission set out for me. I cannot let it occupy my thoughts 24/7 because I need to focus on my mission and get it done.
But I know too that my water loo was given to me for a purpose and this purpose is exactly this mission I am set out to complete in His perfect time. I want to give God the glory because if it is not because of Him, I will still be the Tin who is so generous in giving curses, the Tin who is so full of sarcasm, who speaks nothing else but mostly of insults, the Tin who is quick-tempered and the Tin who is nothing but a cynic.
My fiance knows this kind of person. And I know why God gave a person like him to me. My fiance would remind me that I am a completely different person when my old self would come back at times that there is a conflict. It jolts me back to reality, the Spirit convicts me using my fiance and it sets me back on the right track again. I repent, pledges a re-commitment to change by His help and I would tell my fiance that if it wasn’t for God, the person he witnessed is the kind of person he gets to deal with every single day.
Because I cannot change on my own. That is why I surrendered my life to Christ because I needed a Savior who will take me out of the darkness. I’ve tried it on my own but I failed. I needed someone who is powerful enough to overcome anything, even death and there is only one person who can do that: Jesus Christ.
Step 2: Do the actual sketch after putting the basic lines/in the process of doing the mission refining what needs to be refined.
I am just grateful I was already saved, my past no longer has a bearing and I am no longer stuck in it. I may slide back every now and then but the conviction is already there. And it is this conviction that made me seek for forgiveness instead of letting pride win. God uses people to change you and apply what you learned from Him. Without these people around you, there is no basis if indeed you have changed or not. It is only through God that the flames of the darkness within you can be extinguished.
Putting out that fire is the drive that you will now use to continue your mission and you now know that there is no stopping you from getting it done. And that is because of God’s love and your love for Him. You cannot go out in the world if you don’t have it in you.
I took the risk, I accepted the challenge, I signed up for the mission not knowing what will transpire nor having the assurances I’ll be successful. All I know is that God will prepare me along the way.
I just have to and I should always keep in mind the task laid out ahead of me and consider getting it done by all means. I challenge you too as my beloved readers to seek God’s mission for you and stand up for it, pursuing it by all means.
The news re Robin Williams’ death saddened me and reminded me of what I went through battling depression. The reason I took Special Education now is for me to understand myself more. Because the moment you realized you are different than others, you will seek for ways to help yourself and you want to help others too who may be going through the same thing.
Most of you think I am naturally gifted with those “talents.” The truth is that they are skills I acquired to help me combat depression without the medications. Doing art, playing the guitar, photography, dancing, writing and all my other hobbies all helped me take my mind off those depressive thoughts – they sidetrack all feelings of anxiety, paranoia, and fear.
I attempted to commit suicide twice. The one suicide incident wherein I was almost successful doing it was in 2012 after a very stressful and violent breakup.
BUT it was also on that same year when I got SAVED. I was introduced to the faith on January 2012 and made my altar call during the Singles’ Getaway last September 2012. I created this blog on October 2012, which now became my “megaphone” for my faith and my spiritual journey.
If I have been vocal about my faith in all social networking sites, it is not because I seek for attention nor for popularity but because I intend to share the FAITH that saved me from committing the greatest sin that one could ever do while alive. And I also hope to encourage those who are on the verge of losing hope as well to not give up.
Cry your heart out. Belt it out. Drop down on your knees, repent, pray aloud, cry His Name aloud, seek for His Grace BUT NEVER GIVE UP.
Because God did not give up on you and me. He sent His son Jesus Christ into this world to suffer the pain for us, to save us from our sins – to give us HOPE.
NO ONE and NOTHING else can save you from what you are going through EXCEPT our GOD. The moment you surrender your life to Him, you will feel His presence in your every breathing moment. You will feel the Holy Spirit in you. God will give you opportunities to create a new life and a chance to redeem yourself.
God used the skills I acquired and my circumstances to make me better and stronger so I can serve Him, serve others, and spread the Good News. God surrounded me with people who helped in bringing me closer to Him, and who will remind me of Him every now and then. Because of God, I don’t look back to my past with pain and regret. I see my past as God opening the doors to a new life – spiritually restored and healed.
Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. There is no cure. But there are ways to manage it if you don’t want to take any medications. Although this has to be decided upon the assessment of a medical professional. Seek help if it is too much to bear. I sought help from my spiritual family, and I always have this Bible verse to remind me every time I have those depressive episodes. This Bible verse is what gives my life purpose and meaning:
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” – John 15:4
If it wasn’t for my faith, I’ve long been gone. This testimony will speak how it really means to be BORN AGAIN through the Cross and through God’s love. ❤️🙏
“For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” – Ephesians 2:8
This is an all-time favorite of mine. I have seen this movie for countless of times already and I’ve been crying over it for countless of times as well. 😀
It is not your typical romantic, fairy tale kind of movie. In fact, the movie is just too realistic to dismiss that you’ll find yourself relating to every single part of it.
But in general, this is a movie on relationships and how God makes all the difference when He is at the center of it.
When I was saved, the next thing I prayed to God was for Him to use me as an instrument to reach out to the people who are “lost” and let them know about Jesus Christ. Little did I know and neither did I really understand what being an “instrument” meant back then. Until came that time when I was given the actualities on what it really feels and what is it really like to be used as an instrument.
I have learned two things when God used me: sacrifices and humility. Exactly how God sent Jesus Christ as the way for us to be saved. To follow Christ is to accept Him first as your Savior and be Christlike. It meant going through sacrifices and having humility. I didn’t understand at that time why I had to go through the same things I went through before when I am already a Christian now, pure and devoted. Trials after trials came. Setback after setback. I got corrupted again but I held on to my faith. I noticed that the more I become bolder with my faith and in my devotion, the enemy strikes even harder and more painful this time.
But, what the enemy didn’t know that for every hardest blow I take, I come out unscathed. For every failure, I come back up twice as high as I fell. I have wounds, but I am made whole again. For I have a God who heals, who restores and redeems. 🙂
“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” – Psalm 55:22
Sacrifices played a crucial role being an instrument in spreading the Word of God. It meant persecution, corruption at one point and eventually reaffirmation of faith. To sacrifice is to bleed, to lay open your wounds, to submit every part of your being for the good of one or many.
To be able to endure sacrifices is humility at its best. You are subdued to the lowest point of your weaknesses leaving them raw and open and yet this is what gives you the opportunity to trust God and have faith in Him wholly, with no reservations and with utmost sincerity.
Indeed, when you reach out to the “lost,” how would you help them when you don’t know what they really are going through? How can you sympathize with them when you don’t know the pain they feel, the sorrow they go through, and the struggles they face in every aspect of their lives? I had to experience them too. And when I went through all that, I already know how to deal with them, I know what to do when I make this mistake, I already know who and where to turn to. And that is what they needed to hear, that is what they needed to learn and that is why God gave me the task.
Testimonies are always the best examples of salvation and ultimately, of God’s love through the Cross. They are the best motivators for a changed life, so to speak. I was subverted back to who I was because God is assured that I can never be led astray this time. Though I have to make the sacrifices, He knows I will be going back to Him, seeking and reaching Him out all the more. Then, share the Word and the meaning of the Cross.
Yes, being an instrument is a two-way learning process. I, too, was learning. I, too, feel the pain. I, too, feel the struggle – with them who are “lost.” But the only difference, I had a steadfast faith and I know the meaning of the Cross. I always go back to God, I always think about the Grace. I “report” what I did, I repent if I made mistakes along the way, I submit to His will and then I accept what needs to be done next through prayers for continued guidance from our Father.
“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” – Galatians 5:6
At the end of it all, I ask myself: “Why do that, Tin? Why ask God to give you the task of being an instrument in letting people know about Him? Why let yourself go through all the pain and the sacrifices?”
At first, I don’t know the answer. But God gave the answer: it was LOVE. He loves us so much that is why He sent His son Jesus Christ to save us from our sins. I love my God and Jesus Christ so much for this GRACE, I love the people around me too much I want them to be saved too. It was all for LOVE that I will endure the sacrifices, that I will accept humility. For I know too that this LOVE that saved me will be the LOVE that will save them all too.
This was the love that I used to sarcastically joke about. The love that I used to amusingly take for granted. The love that I have no regard at all. And yet, it was because of this LOVE that I survived in this world.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his LOVE into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
– Romans 5: 1-5
Before I end this article, I would like to share this verse as a reminder so as to not fall into the trap that the enemy has set out for us in order to cut in on our RACE towards GRACE:
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
– Galatians 5: 19-21
Forgive yourself, no one is condemning you. But continue to do what is good, what is right and what is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. So my dear brothers and sisters, I pray that may we all work together towards having this through Jesus Christ our Savior – LIFE IN ETERNITY and continue the good fight of faith, no matter what it takes. 🙂
“So he is a flirt. And you fell for his charms. Are you willing to sacrifice your happiness when he flirts with other girls even when you are already a couple? How long are you willing to take it further when you two got married and you found out his mistress is having his baby – and she is not the only one?
Complicated, it is. Is this the kind of life you wanted for yourself and your future children?”
SILENCE.
So I continued:
“When an inner voice tells you that something is not quite right and when you ask yourself where did you go wrong, that inner voice is the Holy Spirit telling you to REPENT for your sins.
You just cannot go on sinning and then keep on asking God to forgive you. That is not the way things go. That is not what the CROSS meant and why Jesus died for us.
Believe me. I went through the same thing.”
So what now?
“SURRENDER it all to God. Cut him loose. Pray for him. Pray for yourself. Talk to God.”
What if he asks for another chance? Should I give in?
“NO. It is not your battle anymore but God’s. His chances are with God and not with you. You cannot change him. Let God change him for who and how He wants him to be.”
I don’t think I can let him go just like that. I love him.
“Ask God if that is the kind of love that He wants you to have. If you don’t feel right about it, when you are constantly hurt, then ask God to lead you. God would never want to see us crying, to see us broken. He would not send His son, Jesus Christ, to this world and let Him die on the cross if He doesn’t love us.
On the other hand, God wants to protect us from anything evil, from anything that would break us apart, from anything that is unholy. He knows you can get out of that situation. He gave us CHOICES. And as cliché as this may sound, our choices define our destiny in life.
You need not ask yourself if you are going to choose him or Him. It should ALWAYS be Him. Above everything else.”
What are the promises I will feel better afterwards, that I can move on from this and that my life will change for good?
“That is why God taught us things such as FAITH and TRUST. They are the only two things that we can offer to Him in return. Seek Him more.
Life as a Christian, no matter how devoted you are, will never be that smooth sailing. Never forget that there is that other side of the coin, always – the good, the evil; the strong, the weak; etc.
But then again, you have your CHOICES, your FAITH and your TRUST in Him. You should never worry.”
So I thought to myself:
“We may have our battered hearts but never should our souls be tormented. They were meant to be pure, to be holy – untainted.”
So the reader said:
“But we are never perfect. Even the Christians.”
Then I guess you need to read the article again. 😉
It happened a few hours before New Year. New Year’s Eve it is, a few hours before the clock struck 12 signifying the start of a new year – 2013. I never thought that it would happen. The camera has been with me for two years.
Yes, Nigel is my dslr camera. I have always loved photography and it was only recently that I have decided to start taking photos and make it as a full time hobby. Full time hobby would mean using the camera as often as I could at any given time. It served as an avenue for me to recover from a painful past.
Came our family outing wherein I was excited enough to capture the moments. It was a swimming event and everybody was busy carrying a lot of picnic stuff.
Then the unexpected happened.
We were on our way home, I was seated at the back beside my niece and I unintentionally placed the camera on top of the bags without tying the sling to the head rest of the back seat.
I didn’t hear nor feel “danger signals” at that moment and it was already too late to realize it when before I could go out of the car, “blag!” There goes my camera falling and rolling onto the pavement. My brother and Dad were both aghast when they picked up the camera. And yes, I am to blame. I was too confident that nothing will happen to my camera as I was always too cautious making sure that it is on the safe spot where it won’t get wet, where it won’t fall, etc. But you can never let your guard down, as they say.
So yes, that was the first “strike” on my camera. The LCD was broken. And I feared the worst – the camera will not be able to withstand the fall it won’t turn on anymore. But I was thankful though because the camera is inside the case and it cushioned the fall. It was the corner of the guard for the camera strap placed on top of the LCD that caused it to crack. It did turn on. And that was something I am so grateful for.
A week before I went home to Bicol, I bought an LCD cover for the camera. For almost 2 years I haven’t thought about purchasing one just until last year. Little did I know that this gut feeling/inner voice that urged me to do so is actually God trying to tell me in preparation for something big that’s going to happen.
Then a week after that, a relationship with someone very dear to me was severed. Emotional ties were tested up to the limit. It got broken too. That was a week after the incident with my camera happened. So now I was dealing with two things: an intangible and tangible one. And there’s one thing that they both have in common – both are broken. My next question then was, “why?” What is the significance of the two events? Most especially, what was God’s purpose why He made them happen?
Then it came to me that yes, both were meant to be broken. Why? I grew up to be complacent, taking things as they are, letting things stay as they are, unaware and unsuspecting of any danger. I was taken off guard, so to speak. I wasn’t able to fix both before leaving Bicol. Then there came the annual Prayer Fasting in our church. It started exactly the day when I arrived from Bicol carrying with me the “broken” stuff. The Prayer and Fasting placed me in that moment of thinking things through, asking for forgiveness, and talking to God regarding these matters.
Yes, both incidents were meant to happen upon my leaving Bicol. God reminded me what are the things needed to be “fixed” which I have started to be complacent about and start praying for it during the Prayer and Fasting. Yes, that is how amazing our God is. He leads us to the path where we should rightfully head. He sees the “strains” and the “burden” that we will carry if we do not take action and just let things dwindle along.
I went through all the hassle of having my camera checked up and was thankful when I found out that I don’t have to pay thousands and thousands of pesos to have it fixed. It was only the external LCD that was broken. Whew! Thanks to the LCD protector that I bought a week before my camera fell. It was the one thing that prevented the shock from penetrating to the interiors of the camera. It also prevented the LCD glass from shattering and falling into pieces. It was the one thing that basically held everything together.
The same thing happened to the relationship. I prayed for healing during the Prayer and Fasting. I asked for forgiveness and have sworn to let go of my pride, accept my mistakes and apologize. Yes, I may not be able to fix the relationship totally but because of God, He prevented the relationship from shattering completely into pieces. Because when that happens, it would be beyond repair.
The camera was fixed; the relationship was also fixed.
I am more than grateful to God for giving me the guidance and the discernment to follow what He wants me to do. Moreover, I am more than glad I have made the move to obey and trust Him. God is the one thing that held everything together even until now. He made it all possible so that things would be at the right track, almost perfect, and I may be at peace. More or less. 🙂
I got hold of a copy of this movie last year, but for a reason that I know not, I got to watch it just now while rummaging through my “not yet seen” list of movies for the coming long weekend. Maybe God has intended for me to watch it this time. And by the way, it is the only movie that I wasn’t able to watch from my compilation. 🙂
So yes, this article is going to be 3 years late as this movie was released year 2010. This will not be a review (I don’t usually do reviews because I am not good at it) but I just want to share my personal insights about the movie.
I love it.
The plot is well-crafted. Simple, direct and well-carried out. The story is written by none other than one of the famous contemporary American novelists, Nicholas Sparks. The movie is an adaptation of his novel, Dear John. The love story between a military guy and a girl who came from a rich family may sound a bit typical but the story still has its own unique theme as there is no antagonist. Conflicts were mainly derived from the couples’ decisions (John’s decision to enlist in the war in Afghanistan leaving Savannah behind and Savannah’s engagement to Tim) and time.
Savannah’s wanting to be a Special Education practitioner was one of the deciding factors why she married Tim (who was later diagnosed with cancer and died) and be a mom to Tim’s son, Alan, who has autism. John’s dad is also “special” in a way being reclusive and has this particular interest, almost obsessive, in collecting coins especially mules.
Why do I love it?
I like the smooth transition of the scenes in the movie. There are no dragging scenes and the setting constantly changes from one setting to another. The particular scene that I love in the movie would be the part wherein Savannah played the “Little House” song to John. I didn’t know that Amanda Seyfried can really sing and play the guitar so well. Here’s a thing too – she wrote the song, herself. (I hope I can compose songs as good as her – wishful thinking.) *wink* Pretty perfect for a girl, isn’t she? She can act, sing, compose songs, play the guitar and she is adorably good-looking.
Now, I should not be leaving all the compliments to Amanda, should I? 😉 Yes, the reason I chose the movie is because the lead actor is none other than one of my favorite Hollywood actors second to Benjamin Barnes – Channing Tatum.Channing just has this particular charm – sort of an enigma that captivates me every time I see him. Well yes, I can’t deny that he is really gorgeous. I first saw him in the Step Up movie. Quite an awesome dancer! A complete package too. No wonder he and Amanda pair so perfectly well. If I am to rate the movie, I am going to give it 4 stars out of 5.
I also love all the soundtracks in the movie. My next goal is to get hold of the album containing all the movie’s soundtracks. Too early for my birthday’s wishlist, I know, but my wish might be granted earlier than expected. 🙂
In the meantime, here are some soundtracks from the movie that I was able to search over YouTube and would like to share with you. If you haven’t watched the movie yet, I suggest you watch it.
The Journeyman's Moments 