The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
Today’s longer article will be more like a photo journal because I’ll be sharing more photos than narrating my experiences. But the running theme will be about making a move or moving.
And it’s not just any move, it’s a bold one. One that takes you away from your comfort zone to a foreign place surrounded by strangers. One that entails a major life change more like making a fresh start.
And if it’s a bold move, then it’ll require bigger faith. Thus, your life mantra must be in big, bold letters, too, just like mine. And I meant it literally. 😉
Philippians 4:13 in every season.
These are the essentials when you are making a big move in your life literally and figuratively – a devotional, the Bible, and God at the center. Just to make sure you are making the right move. 🙏
And as a continuation of my “firsts” here in Sorsogon City, I’ll start with the first event that I attended – the Kasanggayahan Festival. Check out the calendar of events in this article to know more about the activities lined up until October 28.
The Kasanggayahan Spirit Is On
Bago pa mahulas ang makeup. lol
Always my fave concert OOTN when going solo.
First fireworks display of the Kasanggayahan Festival.
I attended the event just to get a feel of Sarah G. and Matteo Guidicelli’s concert vibe in Sor Ci – I think it’s better to watch the Facebook live coverage of it. 😃
This is the main reason why I attend concerts – street food. 😅
Agri-Trade, Travel, Tourism, & Food EXPO
Bago ulit mahulas ang makeup sa tindi ng init. 😃
I prefer to visit places like this when there are fewer people. Fewer people means fewer photo bombers.
The perfect place to hang out at night w/ your barkadasduring the festival.
Fiesta feels.
There are so many shops to choose from representing the different LGUsall around the Sorsogon Province.
“Dagos Tabi” means “Welcome.”
I’m not sure if there are performances held here at night because there’s a stage in the middle.
And I wasn’t informed that they take photos of their customers. It’s a good thing I dressed up a little bit kaso hindi nakapag-retouch ng makeup. lol 📷: Barcelogan Sizzling House
Dairy Box for cold drinks.
And it REALLY was ice cold – much like the slurpees of 7/11.
This Beautiful Sorsogon tarp reminded me that as a Bicolana, I still haven’t visited most of these tourist destinations in Sorsogon.
I was supposed to visit the museum, too. But it was closed during that day because of a private tour.
Other Must-Try Restos And Shops In The Poblacion
This will be my favorite carinderia in the area because it’s located in the block across our street. 😃
My Dad and sister loved these creamy buko pies. I bought the Ube and Yema flavors.It was love at first taste for me with the Yema Buko Pie. 😋
When craving for maki, SUSHI SORis my go-to Japanese resto. Their maki platters can also be a perfect pasalubongsince it is located in SM City Sorsogon.
Back To Home Base
My failed attempt to have a decent selfie photo with Peekah, our Senior cat. lol
I was lucky enough to get a good shot with Polly. And then a few selfies later…
Polly: “Gaaaaah, Muuuuum!!! Stop harassing me with your cheesy and corny selfie photos! Enough alreadyyyyyyyyy.” 😂 E sorry, na-miss ko kayo eh. 😄
But they never say “no” to playtime using a feather.
And then plakda sa aking bilbil. lol
Food For The Fam
When I’m alone, I always skip breakfast because I wake up late.
But Dad’s an early riser so I cook them breakfast whenever Iam in Bulan.‘Di rin ako makaluto ng danggit dito sa apt. 😄
Breakfast of Champions
This is Atsarang Ubod or pickled heart of the coconut tree. Tia Naty, one of my titas, is an expert when making this. Atsarang Ubod is the perfect pair for any fried viand.
Green, Green Grass Of Home
I’d like to thank my 3rd sister for replanting Mom’s Caladiums/Heart of Jesus, and they are growing pretty well. Aren’t they gorgeous? 😍
A very huge Heart of Jesus. ♥️
While I was checking out this pine tree, which is one of Dad and Mom’s favorite plants in the garden, there was this one butterfly that hovered around me quite too close I can almost touch it.
I have a strong feeling that this is Mom, and she’s still watching her garden. 😊 I miss our gardening convos, Mom. ♥️
Sadly, one of the chimckens was already eaten by our neighbor. 😞
If you see me with scratches and bruises, the garden’s to blame – taking photos ofze plants with all their thorns and protruding branches is not easy peasy. 😩
Thank God for Netflix, watching movies now has no limits when I’m in Bulan – I miss binge-watching with Mom, too. ♥️
Because mirror selfies can mirror your self. Vain then? lol
And now I’m back in the city. It’s a good thing Dad’s scheduled follow-up checkup falls on a Saturday. Hopefully, I’ll be done with work by then. 🙏
If you’re also being called by God to make a big move in your life, I hope this reminder from my women’s devotional book will give you the encouragement that you need. ♥️
Moving Part 1
Moving Part 2
“The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
Do you know what is painful when you’re fighting battles? It’s when both you and your husband cry your hearts out while hugging each other because you are in this season where you both feel trapped and are just too tired but have no choice but to stay strong for one other.
And this was after we failed to be kind and gentle with one another – and all that we know we should avoid during arguments (Kraken V. 10 activated). Those kind of moments when our worst comes out after suppressing it for a very long time.
Indeed, the pastor during our pre-wedding seminar some years ago was right when he said that marriage is all about the word “give” because it requires giving and not getting and forgiving each other and ourselves always. Because we will be offending and failing one another often.
My husband never cries, but he does now. So I know that the weight on him of what we are going through is too much. We are both going through transitions that give us little time to process everything. I am also processing grief over the loss of my Mom who, next to God, is the first person I share my problems with when it comes to my marriage.
It is this kind of feeling wherein you both don’t want to let go because you got used to being with each other all the time and yet you are questioning whether what you both have was real love or not. Or if this marriage is still worth fighting for.
Was it just platonic love? We do have great chemistry but the connection isn’t there. And yet we both know that love isn’t all about electrifying sparks and emotions – love is a decision. It is a decision to love your spouse every single day no matter what happens. Because this is what God taught me about love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 4:7
It is a love who seeks to understand rather than condemn. That kind of love that chooses to forgive and be forgiven. It is a love that chooses to fight for what is good over and over again. But also that kind of love who lets go so the other can be happier.
My husband and I still need each other now and be the best friends that we are to each other who console and support one another when we’re going through tough times. And I am praying we both can sum up the courage to bravely face life alone as we pursue different paths. Because only God knows how our story as a couple ends.
I know my husband is torn between leaving me alone here and pursuing the calling that God has for him abroad. My promise to him remains though. Even if we get separated by distance or by choice, for as long as I am married to him by law, I will honor this marriage until such time that he decides to end it legally.
We made a mistake in the past, a sin that we covered up with another sin. Until our sins caught up with us. My husband wasn’t ready to marry. Though it was a decision we made together, I felt like I was at fault because I somehow forced him in a way. We were both victims of our own selfishness.
Unfortunately, both of us can no longer change the past. But I am praying, I am praying hard that God will forgive me and my husband and release us from the bondage of sin. We have forgiven each other, we suffered for our sins, and I pray that God will give us both peace and a second chance to make up for our mistakes and live a better tomorrow whether together or alone.
I assured my husband that if we can no longer carry the burden of everything we are going through now, we call out to God. Always. It is only God who can help us go through every rough season in our lives and deal with the saddest emotions that we have including those that we don’t reveal to others. God is really the only one who can understand when no one else can.
May God help me and my husband end this year at peace with the pains of our past and the uncertainties of the future. I pray that He will grant us the courage to move on and to move forward not forgetting the lessons we learned. And lastly, I pray for strength to be able to let go of one another believing that God’s plans for us are always for our own good. 🙏
P.S. Lord, enough of the drama already. Mabibigyan po ba ako nito ng award sa Metro Manila Film Festival? Hanubey, awat na. Puh-lease langs. huhuhu 😭 Seriously though, I really want to erase 2023 in my memory. But I know I cannot. I can only remember it as it is. No matter how painful. Because there are good things, too, that happened this year. And they are also worth remembering. ❤️
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” – James 5:16
I’ve been contemplating this question even before December comes. Recent circumstances brought me to yet another crossroad, and they compelled me to think about the future.
“How will my 2024 turn out?”
It’s bleak. Just like how some of the previous years panned out. The future is and will never be certain, and I guess this is why people become fearful. We do not know what will happen, and it makes us anxious, doubtful, and worried. Because it all has something to do with control. We become fearful of things that we have no control over.
This is what God changed when I became a born-again Christian. He showed it to us yet again when my Mom died of stage 4 breast cancer last August. Money wasn’t able to save her. Not even the best doctors in town can save her. Because in God’s story, it’s already her time to go.
I may not know what the future holds, and yet I am certain about this one thing – I will have to deal with yet another heartbreak. That will be two major heartbreaks in a row – first, my Mom’s passing away, and second, losing my husband.
Separate Lives
No, my husband is not dying. But we are going to live separately, which has a high probability it will become legal. My husband wants to go back to Manila and work there again.
Sadly, Manila is no longer an option for me. I have a strong feeling I’ll die early there given that I have severe allergic rhinitis, and the air is just too polluted. I saw the news recently, and the haze has just gotten worse over the city. We also lived in my sister’s condo when we were there, and we happen to have neighbors who are chain smokers.
This aggravated my allergies to the point that I have frequent nosebleeds that get worse and worse every day. It has gotten so bad that my ENT doctor prescribed an antihistamine that I should take on a daily basis and other medications.
My husband was also tired at work given all the pressure brought about by the pandemic in the healthcare industry, he also needed a break. So we decided to come here to my hometown hoping to make a fresh start since I also work from home.
To make the story short, we came here to Bicol last year, but things didn’t turn out the way we had planned them to. Sad to say, this is one of the reasons why we have decided to separate ways.
The calling for me to stay here and serve the local community is far too strong to dismiss. I thought it was my husband’s calling, too, when we both witnessed this perfect rainbow in Albay going to Manila in January 2020.
The most memorable rainbow for me. ❤
The promises God gave me when I saw this perfect rainbow (my first perfect rainbow) were this:
“The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.” – Genesis 9:12-13
“What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” – Genesis 28:15
Unfortunately, these promises were only intended for me. My husband never felt the same calling. It was the opposite for him actually. His coming here only made him realize how much he longed for the city life and the late night outs and “inuman” sessions with his friends and coworkers.
He felt like his social life came to an abrupt halt when he got here. From what I’m seeing, he’s not yet ready to leave his comfort zone. I understand him because he grew up in the city.
All About Marriages
However, I must also say that this was also my trauma for the past 8 years that we’ve been together. How can I forget those sleepless nights when I didn’t know where he was because he was too drunk to text or call me, and he’d arrive home the next day not remembering where he spent the night away?
Or that time when I asked him about a missing bracelet that I gave him, only to find out later on that he’s given it to a female intern at work who took a fancy to that bracelet and asked if she could have it as a remembrance from him (???). Or that female coworker who’d video call him on Facebook, and when I answered, she said she accidentally pressed the call button (???). And a whole lot more of married couple traumas that I chose not to divulge anymore.
Because my husband is not all that. 🙂
I’ve seen him grow from a fetus, I mean, a boy (😉) to a man for the last 8 years. I’ve witnessed how he became this responsible man who is willing to make sacrifices just to meet me halfway.
Although let’s be honest, there are some bad habits that are just hard to break. I know we all can relate to this. Holistic transformation seldom happens overnight.
I actually celebrate individuality in relationships because this is how we grow as a person and eventually as a couple once we’ve both learned to navigate through our differences. I also agree with what the church taught us that we never marry so we can change our spouse.
A marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman and seeks to encourage a spouse to give to the significant other more than what she/he can get from him/her. And yet, it takes two to tango. Love must never be one-sided.
I’d always tell my husband to only change what needed to be changed for the marriage to survive and thrive. I give him the freedom to do what he wants given that it is within the boundaries of this marriage. If what he is about to do will compromise our marriage, and it’s not healthy for both of us as a couple, then he has to be accountable for his actions and address the consequences.
This is why long-distance relationships never work for me. A marriage requires a lot of hard work. Add to it being apart from each other, the probability of a marriage surviving is very, very low.
So, here’s my proposal to my husband if I should decide by the end of the year that I’m staying here in my hometown or somewhere else other than Manila. If he meets another woman, and between me and her he chooses her, then he must file an annulment case first before cohabiting with that woman.
Infidelity is the only reason permitted as grounds for divorce in the Bible (Matthew 19:9). Also, if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave the marriage, he or she can leave any time.
“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” – 1 Corinthians 7:15
So you might probably ask, “Aren’t you going to fight for your marriage, Tin?” Well, I’ve been doing that for the past 8 years. 🙂
I also got to talk to my Mom a couple of months before she passed away and I did ask for her advice regarding this (I’m missing our convos), and she told me that if my husband is not happy here, then I should let him go.
Her suggestion was that if my husband loved me enough, then he should be able to look for other employment opportunities here and adjust just so we could still be together. And yet, I also understand where my husband is coming from.
Where Is Home?
Manila is not my home. It is for him. Bicol is my home. It is not for him. This is the part where I get to go back to what I mentioned in my previous paragraphs about God being in control.
These are matters that are already out of my control. What I’ve learned in my marriage is that I do not have control over how my husband feels, how he reacts, how he thinks, how he decides, and how he behaves. I can only take these matters to God, and tackle issues as they come one day at a time. As Scripture goes,
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6
“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:27
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” – Matthew 6:34
But a more pressing concern is the basis of my decision to stay. I need to take care of my health. I am already at a high risk of getting breast cancer. What happened to Mom is a constant reminder to me to stay as healthy as possible.
I was born with a weak immune system, and I have always been the sickest kid in the family. Out of Mom’s 4 watchers when she was at the hospital, I was the only one who contracted Covid.
My sister, Tita Len, and my spouse all turned out negative in their antigen tests and never even had symptoms. I, on the other hand, still have long Covid rashes every now and then.
I tried not to take antihistamines every day, but I can only go on for a couple of days and the congestion will come back, especially at night. These are all minor health conditions though and are easily manageable.
So yes, I know you’re bored already, so let’s cut this short. 😀
This photo might encourage you to keep reading if you want to find out where this was taken. 😉 Photo courtesy of my husband the day before my 36th birthday (12/21/2021).
Trusting God Always
I may not know what will happen next year. Or where I will be. Because I don’t want to be in Manila, and yet I also don’t want to be in my hometown because Mom’s memories here at home make me miss her a lot.
I want to heal someplace else and live somewhere halfway between Manila and Sorsogon. That would be Camarines Sur, but I prefer somewhere close enough so I can visit Dad regularly during weekends.
Albay, maybe? I really don’t know. But before you assume that I am running away from Manila and my hometown, actually I go where God will ask me to go. It can be in Albay or for all I know, it could be somewhere in Batanes or Tawi-Tawi. Or abroad.
One of my sweet escapes – the ocean. ❤️
It’s a good thing that I am a remote worker so I can work from anywhere. Thank God for remote work because it is just fitting for a nomadic lifestyle. If I were also to be asked what are the 3 things that I can’t live without, that would be my laptop, my phone, and my “Go Bag.” Then, you can bring me anywhere.
Yes, a Go Bag will count as one thing, right? lol Nah, it’ll be an unfair answer knowing that everything we need to survive is in the Go Bag. On a serious note, I’ll be sharing more about emergency preparedness in my upcoming articles since we are already in a climate emergency. And no, I’m not a doomsday prepper. I’m just a regular civilian trying to get by in a chaotic society.
Where God Leads, I Follow
About my plan to go someplace else, I’m still trying to ask God for a clearer picture after I saw that perfect rainbow in Albay and received the assurance of a promise. Albay is actually my Mom’s second home (more about it here). My Mom also stayed at my Tita’s place in Daraga and tagged along 2 of my siblings who were still toddlers back then. That was when Mom and Dad had a huge fight, and Mom decided to leave him for good.
But well, as we all know it, love brought them back together. Dad changed his bad habits, pursued Mom, and Mom loved him enough to forgive him, and they actually just celebrated their 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary last June 1, 2023. Speaking of love, you might want to watch a movie on Netflix entitled “Love At First Sight.”
It’s a new release, and according to the movie, it’s not a love story but it’s a story about fate and chances. And what do you do with both. I think it really is not your typical love story though the movie title was too cliche, but I must admit it was one of the best chick flicks I’ve watched. I plan on writing a movie review about it, so better watch it now before I spoil it. 😉
To end this long article, I only have one concrete plan in mind for next year. That is, to move forward. Because that is the only way to go and that has always been the case for me ever since I became a born-again Christian.
Is it toxic positivity? I don’t know, but it works for me and I owe it all to God’s grace. It is this undeserving grace that got me to where I am now even if there were numerous times I felt like I wouldn’t make it. I do not plan on wallowing in sadness, grief, and sorrow for a long period of time because that is not living.
I hope this article will also encourage those who are going through very difficult situations to continue to soar. Nothing is ever too broken for God that He can never make whole again. God is not done with you and with me yet. We still have a lot more to do for His people and for His kingdom. We’re still breathing, right? So, LIVE. ❤
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28
Here’s a video of a Brahminy Kite I spotted back on our farm. I love to see them soar up high with wings all spread out, gliding up and down. They belong to the family of eagles and they are not yet endangered but sadly, their numbers are declining. I am praying God will give us the guidance and wisdom to protect them in the Wildlife Sanctuary that we plan to establish inside the farm.I am hoping to partner with DENR/MENRO for this.
And of course, sharing with you my fave song for this week. ❤ May God’s favors be upon you this coming week, dear brothers and sisters. 🙏
The Journeyman's Moments 