The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I have often asked myself that question before I got saved. Like a thousand times over. And they soon lessened bit by bit when I devoted much of my time reading the bible and in praying. Soon after, answers were given, not all at the same time. Some were shown right away, some remained as silent as they are. But one thing is clear – there is a mission.
As I was reading more of the bible every single day, I realized that there is one common mission for all – to spread the Word. Same way as Jesus did when He was sent in this world. It is just a matter of choosing in what manner did God call you to spread the Word.
What I will be writing, as with everything I have put here in this blog, are all personal opinions. Anyone is free to contest or agree. But I am hoping it’ll strike somehow a new perspective in each and everyone of us.
As of right now, we all have certain roles that we are currently fulfilling – a daughter, student, employee, boss, etc. Those that were preset so to speak – roles that do not come from our own choices. We didn’t choose to be born a daughter or a son, nor when we got hired, nor was it our choice to go to nursery school as soon as we learn how to read or when we got promoted, etc. But there are those that require a major decision making, a point of seeking. And that includes our mission, our purpose – one that deals with a lot of contemplating before finally making a choice. I am sure more or less we wonder or there is that moment in your life you asked yourself, “What am I living for?”
How do you find out what and where does God want you to share His Word?
In my case, it is in my interests. Tapping the things that I find joy doing is where I found God’s mission for me. We cannot say however that that is where everyone will find their mission too. There are those who found it in their line of work, in school, at home or overseas. It could be anything and anywhere actually. But one thing’s for sure, it is from somewhere and something that your heart is closely attached to, something that gives you fire and passion. For it is the heart that God is after in us, not our background, what we have or have accomplished.
Contemplating usually leads to knowing your deeper sense of self. It gives you that moment of looking and searching the very depths of your soul, of who you are. But a word of caution should be taken here – our selves can be one avenue where the enemy can trap us with deception and lies such as making us feel worthless, brooding on self pity, feeling inadequate, insecure, and a whole lot of negative perceptions that can hamper the good image that God wanted us to have with ourselves.
When I got saved, it wasn’t just a spiritual reawakening for me but more about rediscovering myself in the light. Something that I am unaware all these years – of things that have lain dormant. Only when the Spirit’s tapped your inner being can you claim that God has magnificently and uniquely created you not just as an individual but as His daughter/son.
When we seek God’s purpose and mission for our lives, He will give us everything that we need to prepare us for that mission. Opportunities will be given and circumstances will work in a way that we know only God can do and is capable of.
But my greatest advice is this:
Never compare yourself to others, what others do and what they have accomplished. You will never get the chance to know yourself more if you are busy knowing the lives of others and trying to live the lives they live. Do not say “I want to be like that too.” Instead pray and say, “God, how do you want to use me?”
Keep in mind that God has something unique in store just for each and everyone of us. Same way that He has chosen a special partner in life just for you if it is His will you be married. We should always keep in our hearts that popularity and achievements are not included for it is not in God’s purpose for each and everyone of us to rely on them especially if it is not His name that is glorified in the process. As what the bible states,
But He gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” – James 4:6
In all that we do, what we should foster is that of having a humble servitude. Do not think about what you will get in return from the service you have rendered but what good did others get from your service. Exactly like how Jesus Christ was able to complete His mission – serving the Lord God and the people of this world in HUMILITY.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up with honor.” – James 4:10
God knows we are weak. He knows we will be needing Him. What it takes to know God’s mission for us is to acknowledge boldly and courageously the fact that we are weak but will only be made strong through Him. When we are ready, there will be no stopping us, faith will have its voice in whatever medium it may be.
Do not fear failure, criticism, condemnation and suffering because of upholding to the mission appointed to us – the Cross will be our hope, peace and will be our guide. God never forsakes those who stood up to their faith until time will come to say our work is finished.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
Lastly, this is what “niche” means:
NICHE .noun.
– a shallow recess, especially one in a wall to display a statue or other ornament
It was after our family vacation with my husband’s family last weekend that I got hold of something interesting. We went to Baguio City in the upper north of the Philippines where the weather is particularly colder than in any part of the country.
A portrait at the Baguio Botanical Garden c/o Brian Rome Photography.
Brian Rome Photography
My aunt-in-law, Tita Bebe, in an Ibaloi/Kankanaey native, traditional costume. 🙂
I never could get this husband of mine to do a serious pose. Like never. 😉
It was a well-spent vacation full of laughter, travels and food ventures. One adventure that we didn’t miss was a visit to the famous haunted house in Baguio City and the bamboo art exhibit.
My bro-in-law, Buds, and the facade of the haunted house. 🙂
Spacious living room.
Bamboo art work and handicraft.
The living room.
It was Bud’s idea to visit the haunted house.
Up we went to uncover the house’s mystery.
The Master’s Bed
The Fireplace
The staircase of the haunted house.
It was his idea to reenact our wedding day.
Unfortunately, I can only do the “real kiss” of the newlywed couple once. 😉
No serious pose indeed. Oh wells. 😀
His signature pose.
Baguio Escapade 2015
We also stayed at Hotel Veniz which is located near the heart of the city popularly known for its night flea markets. My husband and I pretty much enjoyed buying stuff at such an affordable price – it was a hassle though packing them up as it added to our already bulky baggage. But it still was fun haggling for lower prices and yes, eating street food. Now this last part I must definitely say THE highlight of our last night there.
We were all tired after the vacation and it was during the last day at my in laws’ house where I got hold of one of the most interesting pieces of memorabilia that I didn’t quite expect after receiving my first memorabilia from the Holy Land which is the Spikenard Magdalena perfume thru my husband’s Dad.
My mother-in-law gave me Bible Land Treasures’The Anointing Oil as one of their presents which I am very grateful for. A good God we indeed have. 🙂
The Anointing Oil
If you haven’t read my article on the Spikenard Magdalena perfume, you can read it up here and it also explains a little bit about the Anointing Oil:
As of right now, I haven’t had the slightest idea as to what God’s purposes are why I have to get hold of these two important elements in the bible which is significant in our history on how Christianity started – particularly that of Jesus and the Cross. It is very humbling though that God gave me this privilege to be able to know these elements for real, have an idea how they smelled, what they look like and where and how they were used.
The Anointing Oil smelled more delicate and milder than the Spikenard Magdalena perfume which is a combination of frankincense, myrrh and spikenard. It also has a lighter color as compared to the perfume and less concentrated. I have used the perfume twice already but I haven’t used the anointing oil yet.
Having shared this, I am now in need of your heartfelt prayers for the Spirit’s leading where these elements can be put into good use, not just for me, but for others as well – that in serving God’s will and purpose. 🙂
I’d like to start this article by saying that my civil wedding posed a lot of interesting questions based on two grounds:
I am a devoted believer.
The assumption that I am yoked to an unbeliever.
The following two questions are the frequently asked and I believe it is just right that these questions popped up for a lot have been under the cloud as to what really is what, causing some to stumble in their faith which, as believers, we are not supposed to do to others. I admit I, myself, am being corrected each and every single day. And I mean, each and every single day. So these questions and the answers to them are a breather to me as well. 🙂
First question:
“If you get married through a civil wedding, does that make your marriage unholy or a sin?”
Second question:
“How would you know if your future spouse is a believer or not?”
For the first question, we were already informed during our Engagement/Wedding Preparation seminar in church by our pastors that there is nothing wrong being married through a civil wedding. Tradition, which is cultural, and social norms (which can be a misconception) imply that a couple be wed in church with all the grandiosity of the entourage and the reception. I intend to share this in another article for I did find a lot of blogs of unhappy brides during their grand, dream weddings.
I cannot claim expertise on this matter and our pastors only shared a few insights as to why it is okay to get married through a civil wedding but I did find this article on one of my favorite websites when it comes to dealing with familial and relational issues Christian-wise.
I highly recommend you to read this article and read more related articles in their site as they were all insightful:
For the second question, I honestly admit I struggled with this in the early stages of my relationship with my husband back when we were still dating. And I believed I made two common mistakes that believers do unknowingly: judge and condemn. Reading this article came as a rebuke. And if you are to read my previous articles too, you will know that the Spirit also made the rebuke through the Scripture and selected bible verses that are truly answers to questions and doubts I have been brooding over for a time. I hope to share this article with you as again, I cannot claim any expertise on this matter as I am no minister or theologian, I am just a writer who writes from her soul. 😉
This is a very long read but please do take time to carefully read through the important points:
And since I have posted articles here written by people I do not personally know, I’d like to post a disclaimer that it is best to read through all of them with the guidance of the Spirit. And by the end of the day, it is still the Scripture that we should rely more for Godly wisdom. But these articles were written by people who also composed the body of Christ and I believe they were also called to do the mission/task that God has appointed to them. As my brother would always say,
“It is always a matter of faith. It has been and always will be.”
And for my personal advice as a sister in Christ, I recommend consistent praying and undying faith will lead you to where God would want you to be. I had a lot of fears, I used to, had a little bit now but this is what God particularly assured me for my relationship with my husband now (shared this revelation in my previous articles):
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18
08/17/2015 – Sealing The Commitment
Hold on to God, hold on to His Word, seek His counsel and as one brother in Christ of mine advised, “overload yourself with prayers.” What matters is the commitment – honor the commitment, honor the decision you made out of love for your partner, honor your God-given free will when you used it to make that decision, then you honor God.
Of course, I am looking forward and very much excited to have our church wedding wherein all our beloved families and friends are complete to witness our re-affirmation of wedding vows to God officiated by a minister this time. 🙂
P.S.
What was so funny during our civil wedding ceremony was that we were told by the clerk that our signatures were almost similar. When we looked at the marriage certificate, we can’t help but agree.
AND I really wonder why I decided, decades ago, to use this signature of mine which is so, so far from my initials. It doesn’t look like a letter “C” or letter “L” or even a “G.” My husband’s signature looked closer to his initials though. Oh well, the wonders and the mysteries never end, do they? 😉
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
I was in the middle of washing dishes when a thought moved me to a realization, moved me to tears that moved me to declare God’s Greatness.
And the only thing I could blurt was: “How could I be so negative about everything just because what has happened or what is happening are not what I have expected?”
I have learned that working abroad and leaving your family behind is not an option for every couple. I believe this is the reason why more emphasis on this is given nowadays to every young couple. And though I have learned this now, it somehow gave me an opportunity to regard couples who have already made this decision in a negative way thinking why they made that decision or why did God allow them to make that decision – which is wrong.
Because by doing so I was judging them unknowingly. It was only today that the Spirit led me to God’s answers. A gentle tugging of the heart that led to once and again and as always – humility.
My fiance grew up in this set up. I do not know how it was for him as he never shared anything to me about this and I don’t want to be the first to ask him. Guys never share emotional stuff on a regular basis compared to the ladies. 😉
But I did feel the lack that he feels. Especially when as a future husband now, we got to talk things about priorities and me wanting my children to grow up in a setup wherein both of us are physically present advising him that their parents’ case is different than ours. And I cannot tell if I hurt him in one of those conversations touching one deep wound or scar.
And yet this is where God proved to be so faithful in His promises. When I met my fiance, he did not fulfill the requirements that our church asks in choosing a Godly man for a partner. But like I shared previously, my fiance believes in God, goes to church but did not go thru the “legalities” of the church to be saved or like how I was saved.
I prayed to God about this in the Prayer and Fasting 2014. And when we became a couple, I have made my decision without a doubt. But little did I know that this little “technical issue” could be used by the enemy to deceive me with his lies.
And yet I also believed that God allowed it to happen so I could be tested. A lot of conflicts came to the point that I always tell him it is because he is not yet that devoted that is why we are having these conflicts. And yet God would always rebuke me to the point of utmost humility that it is actually I who have so little faith.
This verse was His reminder:
“Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” – Galatians 2:16
Daily Devotion
And also this:
“Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” – Romans 14:1
Then I told my fiance once that as my future husband he will be the spiritual leader of our family – a concept that he had a hard time grasping as he didn’t know how because this was not the kind of family he came from.
And yet God was so faithful. For though my fiance’s Dad is so far away from them and he gets to visit the family for a short period of time once a year, God still made sure he will fulfill his role as the spiritual leader of his family.
Yes, no oceans are wide enough and no land is ever far enough for God’s love and His promises to be fulfilled, which was the realization that I had just now.
My fiance shared to me that two of his dad’s best coworkers were here in the Philippines for a visit and requested they all have dinner with them. He told me that these two are the ones that his Dad are closest with at work and gets to share a lot of things with. And what I heard next from my fiance came as a surprise to me:
“They told me and Buds that my Dad would always tell them that they reminded him of his sons back home as they are our age. But what made me cry is when they told us that our Dad would tell them everything about us and how hard it is to live without your family.”
And it was also this that I cried. For I believe those two work buddies were actually angels sent by God to accompany my fiance’s Dad all throughout the different seasons that he is in away from home. God honored the sacrifice and yet it could also be so that God’s plans will be completed. For it was also through them that my fiance’s Dad exemplified the role as the spiritual leader of his family. For he would request my fiance to download podcasts during church service and the movies that he selected that has something to do with faith. My fiance gets to hear those podcasts and gets to download the movies and he gets to watch it too.
One of those two buddies also happen to have a fiance who is a SpEd teacher in California. The same as the field I am specializing right now and most definitely will be my future career too. 🙂
You wouldn’t believe me, but I know you would just like I did when my fiance told me what were the names of the two best buddies of his Dad at work – Job and Revelation. 😉
I have long held on to the fact that nothing is ever a coincidence with God may it be good or bad in our own knowledge and interpretation. And I believe it is in this faith that God made me see how true He is in His promises. I read the book of Revelation and it all came as a promise of an assured hope.
I held on to my relationship with my fiance though times would come that we are sure we could not see the light anymore and we are sure that we are becoming totally exactly the opposite that God wanted us to become – totally undeserving of His mercy and forgiveness. And yet God stayed faithful and true to His promise in these times of vulnerability and “nakedness.” By prayers, forgiveness and faith, my fiance and I held on to our commitment as an act of honoring God, His unwavering love and His faithfulness.
It is in this relationship that I was brought closer to God. It is in this relationship that I sought Him with all my heart. And it is in this relationship that I was more in tune with the Spirit, the bible verses became more meaningful to me and I can apply what I am learning from the Scripture. It was thru his mom that I got my first ever Our Daily Bread devotional which feeds my spiritual hunger daily and it is thru my fiance’s Dad that I got hold of the Spikenard Magdalena perfume which prompted me to read more about it learning more Godly wisdom in the process.
In short, it is in this relationship that I am learning more of God and His love every single breathing moment that I make each day.
It’s just that, I didn’t know – at first. And I used to have so little faith. 😉
“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9
(Disclaimer: This is a very long post but definitely worth the read.) 🙂
I believe many are already familiar what promise rings are. But in case some of you still are unfamiliar with it, this is a definition I got from Wikipedia:
“A Promise ring symbolizes a commitment to a promise and is given to a person as a token or reminder of his/her decision…”
But I guess what we could highlight in this definition is this: commitment to a promise.
But before I get on to that, do allow me to share just a quick update regarding my current status. If you have been one of my avid readers, you would know by now that my fiance and I decided to take a two-week “cool off” period wherein we were back to being single and strangers? Definitely not. For God was faithful enough to have kept our communication going and again, not let our hearts be hardened by the negative circumstances that we went through.
We haven’t had the time to personally talk things out and just prayed to God to guide us through the week so we could re-align our plans and our thoughts with His. I shared in my previous articles that during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, I asked God for assurances if the decisions and the commitments I have made were indeed according to His will.
It was hard to let go of a person you love so much, but when God asks you to, you have no choice but to obey just like what Abraham did when he was ready to sacrifice his son’s (Isaac) life. You don’t know in that moment of decision-making why God asked you to. But if you are to ask me if indeed it was what God wanted, I can answer with “yes” for the decision came during our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.
And yet during those 3 days of Prayer and Fasting, I also asked God if I should let him go completely or was it something temporary, a “breather” so that the two of us could see His beautiful promise and not drown ourselves in the multitude of conflicts we are having – sort of a reminder where our relationship should be going and how we should be loving each other, God’s way.
Came the sign which I shared in my More Revelations (Part 2) article about my fiance’s name. All I had at that time were prayers and my faith and all that ever mattered to me was conversing with my God and nothing else. Yet, I have put my trust and hopes in God and God alone.
Two weeks passed.
In those two weeks, I was more in tune to the Spirit’s leading. Revelations upon revelations, tangible assurances, more Godly wisdom, more of God’s wonders working anywhere and anytime, everything was all about God. I was able to experience freedom by the end of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, answers were given, Godly wisdom on generational curses, learning about what was plaguing me for the past years without me realizing it, until eventually this word popped out – fear.
Fast forward to last weekend, my fiance asked me for a chance to talk things out personally. I always declined saying we should wait upon God for His right time. I thought about seeking counsel from my first spiritual mentor, my brother, and this was his advice:
Brotherly advice from a brother in Christ and my brother for real. 😉
I listened to my brother and continued praying until came the time when my fiance asked me again if he could see me last Saturday, to which I said “yes.” We were able to talk some matters over the phone the past days but I know there are still more that were left unsaid, more that need to be said and more that are better said in person.
An out-pour of prayers came, we met and then came the moment of that big question: “Are you really ready in your heart for this commitment, this big commitment which is marriage?”
Both our answers were a “yes.” The agreement was then mutual. Apologies were said and accepted, love overruled. So there we were continuing on from where we ended. When I made this re-commitment, I felt that I was making a pledge that indeed, no matter what happens, like what my brother said, there’s no more backing out. Fight for faith, continue hoping and most especially fight for love.
I have always believed that God planned everything, and I mean everything from the smallest details and the mundane to the biggest and the marvelous. This includes dates and numbers.
For the date, I thought there must be something to the date when I felt I was ready to talk with my fiance or should I say, it was already God’s perfect time. I am aware that the enemy is also working full time to destroy what God’s plans are. And of course, we all know that the holy matrimony is one of God’s best creations. For in a holy marriage and through marriages future disciples and spiritual leaders are born. But I know for sure as well that God won’t allow a marriage to fall apart if He allowed the union to be part of His even greater plans.
So why Saturday, July 12, 2015?
Okay, I remembered. I was just this total amnesia girl that I forgot it was the day before our 18th monthsary as a couple. 😀
“Praise be to God” was all I could blurt out. What a beautiful way to reconcile. Indeed, there is always something to celebrate after God gave us some time away from our troubles so we could appreciate the beauty that God has created in our relationship. The first week that we had our “break time,” his engagement proposal happened. Yesterday was our 18th monthsary, July 12 – what an awesome, wonderful way to celebrate it. I need not ask for any gift or special way to celebrate it, except I could only offer in return a heart full of gratitude to my Father up above who wished for nothing else but a better life for His sons and daughters.
So the day ended with a smile. I slept with a peaceful heart.
Early Sunday morning, July 12, our monthsary day, I suddenly woke up. I felt the need to urinate. So down I went, drank a glass of water and headed upstairs. When I got back to bed, I was so wide awake as if I haven’t slept at all. I checked the clock, it’s 3:03am. Wow, that is the same time for the past months that I wake up every now and then and could not sleep for no apparent reason at all. The very recent prior to this was the night before I broke up with my fiance and thought I heard someone calling my name. It was during that moment that I contemplated and decided to let him go.
But this time it was different. Here I was in bed staring at the ceiling with a smile on my lips reminiscing the events that happened the day before. Yes, I thought maybe because I just cannot contain my happiness that my fiance and I were back together. Then a phrase just popped up in my head all of a sudden – “real love drives out fear.”
Okay, now where did that come from? It was not even connected to my current thought – recalling yesterday’s events. And the phrase sounded right but not really right to me. But I was sure I have heard or read it somewhere, somehow. So what I did, I grabbed my phone, turned my WiFi on and searched ever reliable Google with the phrase/sentence. And the search results centered on only one thought – a bible verse which says:
1 John 4:18 ESV
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
Okay, so that explained why it popped up – I definitely have read this before but my synapses could not just particularly locate that memory bank where I stored it. But thank God for technology, I can easily locate those lost memories by giving me something to remember them through more additional information and clues.
And I smiled even more when upon seeing the search results, the top 3 sources that came up were from the ministries that I highly look up to as a Christian: Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren and Desiring God. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe God has a reason for waking me up at this hour. So I started reading all 3 articles by said authors and I found 3 words common in all 3 articles: perfect love, God’s love and fear.
Allow me to share some of the screenshots I took for documentation purposes and do take note of the time. For I will be sharing more revelations in the succeeding paragraphs.
Joyce Meyer
Rick Warren
Desiring God
But going back to the bible verse, I was having my dose of Godly wisdom when a question popped in my head again: “why does it have to be “real love”? Usually, for the bible verses, most of the time I get the phrases correct especially if they are the usual bible verses that I have been encountering during devotion time. 1 John 4:18 was not an exemption for I have read it quite a couple of times already. And yet what was with the phrase “real love?” Where did it come from? I am sure I have encountered it somewhere too, something that has quite that significance to me for me to be able to somehow store it in my long term memory but could not point out exactly where.
Then came the “Eureka!” moment and I almost laughed aloud. For this was where I have seen it and now I know why it was retained because it is that significant. The following is a photo of the “dummy” rings that my fiance and I bought a couple months back as during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church, we were advised to use “dummy” rings in the actual wedding ceremony as the real thing might be misplaced and eventually lose them because of all the preparations and the hectic activities lined up for the said event. It was the first thing that we bought and we really don’t know why back then. 😀
I was actually the one who suggested we buy the rings when I browsed online for wedding rings. And I know it was not a coincidence that I felt the urge though I do not know why. But I acted upon it and I believe it was not also a coincidence when came the time that my fiance and I were choosing what ring design would best fit us and this particular design came into our hands. My first choice was a glittery ring but when my fiance tried it, his feminine, slim hands, looked REALLY feminine. So, it was a no-no for us.
The second choice was a plain silver band but then again there’s no available size for my fiance. Then this was the point that the shop owner suggested another pair. I didn’t like it at first. Because I wanted the rings to just have a clean and simple finish since it’s just going to be a “dummy” ring. I mean, it wouldn’t really matter for what matters would be our actual wedding rings. But then again, this pair was the only pair wherein the wedding ring for the groom fitted my fiance’s ring finger just right. And one more thing, I don’t like rings with inscriptions at the outer side of the ring. Well, let’s say I am still a bit old fashioned when it comes to these things. 😀
But in the end, I conceded that we buy this design with an inscription engraved at the outer side of the ring and an engraving of one half of a heart for each ring between the inscription. If you combine the rings, it’ll form into the shape of a heart.
“Real Love”
The rings weren’t significant to me for they are just “dummies.” BUT I was wrong – totally wrong. For now, I felt like they are the most important rings we will ever wear. Why?
Going back to the “real love” phrase, I was just amazed when I remembered that this was the inscription engraved on the “dummy” rings. And what was even more amazing was that the revelation with the verse and my interchanging “perfect love” with “real love” was God’s way of reminding me of His promise to me and Brian – marriage. He wanted me to realize that this is real/perfect love – it drives out fear.
Fear.
Now it dawned on me. This was not about fears in my past, fears in my childhood days but fears that I was unaware I have been bringing in the relationship with my fiance. It was out of fear that we had the conflicts. It was out of fear of the punishments from the past mistakes. It was out of fear of so many things that eventually came to me fearing the worst that could happen in our relationship. It was fear that ruled the relationship.
And this was a portion of the article that made me see the clarity of it all:
God pulled us out of the relationship to protect us from our own fears and gave us hope instead. God wanted to teach us that that was not how He intended our relationship to be. Because fear did not come from Him. Reading the articles further just brought me once again in that state of utmost humility – being humbled by God’s presence through the revelations.
God’s presence.
This made me think about once again the idea of me waking up at around 3am and why the number 3 proved to be very significant to me like the day of my salvation which was 3/3/13 (which I shared in my previous articles) and was always included in His bigger revelations. Was it God? Did it come from an angel? I was still baffled and yet I know there’s an explanation somehow behind it. So I typed at Google search once again and checked out if there is somehow a biblical significance with the number 3 and the time. The following were the search results that turned up:
The 3 is always there – even my bookmarks came down to 3.
The Prophetic News
The Prophetic News
The Prophetic News
There really is something about names. Mine is Christine. 🙂
Spirit Daily
Spirit Daily
This was another big revelation. Although the moment I read that 3am is also the time where Satan is at work, came the terrifying fear that I might be possessed by a demon or vulnerable of being possessed. Because I admit I do experience some waking up moments at around 3am feeling a heavy feeling in my heart. But for the recent events, they were mostly uplifting and enlightening.
BUT I think my God went before me, for He knows I will seek for answers and He already assured me through the bible verse I have mentioned above. As the article mentioned, the Spirit commanded him to stand on His Word. Fear does not come from God. So most likely, Satan was also trying to butt in. But sorry, not sorry that I am already protected by my loving God. 🙂
I just felt the need to browse a little more and stumbled across a forum regarding the biblical significance of 3am. And one comment just struck me the most:
Yes, I believe it was and is all for a greater calling. A calling that involves a greater harvest. A calling that calls for a preparation towards a significant event. Our God is calling out.
And I believe in my church, our spiritual leaders have already prophesied this. For yesterday’s prayer, led by a sister in Christ who is also a spiritual leader, was all about fear. I really don’t believe in coincidence. 😉
So with that I rest my case, and I am just smiling even more as I type this. For it was one of my prayers to God to give me a bible verse during my wedding that is not the usual bible verse I encounter during Christian weddings such as:
1 John 4:19 ESV
“We love because He first loved us.”
So He gave me a different verse instead – a verse that will have a personal significance and impact not just to me, but a verse that will seal the commitment of what “real love” should be for both me and my fiance along with a symbol of that commitment – the “promise” rings.
It was not just a promise/reminder/covenant between me and my fiance to commit to each other until death do us part but most importantly, it symbolizes God’s beautiful promise for us both – God’s advance wedding gift to us. And this reminds me of The God Triangle:
Photo credit: thewerners.org
Now this is perfect/real love: love is God and God is love. So yes, basically, I just can’t help but thank my God every single day for literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. ❤
P.S.
My chosen bible verse for the wedding was not because I chose it but God chose it for me and it was the verse that came just before 1 John 4:19. So I believe it still is in the context of bible verses perfect for Christian weddings. 😉
Here’s a video about God restoring what was lost if we seek Him FIRST.
And here’s a text from him tonight, nothing can ever make me smile the sweetest except when I see the word “pray.” 😀
Our God is indeed a God who restores and redeems. 🙂
Most of the time it is during church service or a prayer meeting that I receive a revelation and most often, it is in my quiet time that I get to have a fuller understanding of that revelation. It could be a word, a song, a testimony or even a whole message which God wanted me to act on now.
During the prayer and fasting and even prior to it, I have heard one phrase which struck a cord in me, in my spiritual senses – a generational curse.
I must admit my knowledge and Godly wisdom on this topic is very limited. I believe God wanted to expound that knowledge by urging me to research about generational curses and be enlightened on what it really entails through articles and the Scripture. These are the articles I have stumbled across and I do encourage you to read them:
I do have an idea what it meant – it means a sin committed by ancestors that is now plaguing the current generation and maybe some of the generations to come. But I never really considered the gravity and the effect it could make if indeed a person is afflicted with a generational curse.
Not until I realized that I am one of those persons. It was during the prayer and fasting that I proclaimed I am free from the stronghold of the enemy. I just felt freedom at its best through the Cross. Something I felt when I had my altar call and when I went through the baptism of the Holy Spirit and my water baptism. It was only when I was reading all these articles on generational curses that I begin to understand why I had to attend all 3 prayer meetings during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting and be able to completely stick to my plan to control addictions i.e. Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. and follow consistently the once-a-day meal type of fast. The Spirit has to be greater within me to pull me out from the stronghold of the enemy – which I may define now as a generational curse.
I didn’t realize I am under a generational curse of depression, paranoia, insecurities, anger, anxiety, fears and doubts. Yes, it runs in the family. There is a medical term for it and I already admitted it in my previous articles except that this time, I do not wish to name it as I consider myself free and cured from the curse now that I have been saved and received prayers from our spiritual leaders in casting out demonic Spirits that may have possessed us through the generational curses.
I believe a generational curse is what is plaguing most families especially those who do not claim Jesus to be their Savior. For it has been said in the articles that it is only by the blood of Jesus that you will be freed from the generational curses that have been handed down to you by your father, mother, grandmother, grandfather and forefathers. It is only Jesus who can clean your name and give you a new slate to start living a life free from this curse and alive in Christ.
Some of the generational curses could be vices, murder, rape, adultery, lying, robbery, basically any sin committed by an ancestor or it could be an illness, they can become a generational curse. I shared this revelation to my brother, one of my spiritual mentors, and he said, “Yes, we may be under a generational curse for how many generations now and yet our forefathers have prayed for us, the future generations, to be successful in not just dealing with them but in overcoming them through the Cross, through Jesus Christ, through repentance and salvation. Then there will also come generational blessings.” 🙂
I believe both me and him are dealing with generational curses that have been handed down to us which now are the cause of some conflicts we are having in our relationship. We both have generational curses to overcome through Jesus and I pray that in his salvation, he will declare himself free from the bondage of this generational curse through Jesus Christ.
I wouldn’t be this receptive though to learning all about generational curses and I wouldn’t be able to identify what is the generational curse that I was under if it wasn’t for the personal relationships around me. It is a difficult task which requires extreme patience, endurance, great character and perseverance to fight for faith at all costs. But I know my GOD is greater than anything in this world and I am claiming it through the mighty name of Jesus.
If you believe that you or someone you know may be under a generational curse, please pray with me the following prayer I have found in one of the articles I have read regarding generational curses:
“In the name of Jesus, I confess the sins and iniquities of my parents (name specific sins if known), grandparents (name specific sins if known), and all other ancestors. I declare that by the blood of Jesus, these sins have been forgiven and Satan and his demons can no longer use these sins as legal grounds in my life!
In the name of Jesus, and by the power of His blood, I now declare that all generational curses have been renounced, broken and severed, and that I am no longer under their bondage!
In the name of Jesus, I declare myself and my future generations loosed from any bondages passed down to me from my ancestors. AMEN!”
We also have spiritual mentors in church who are more than willing to help you in what you are going through. You may check out the websites in my advocacy and affiliation sections (left side) to know more about their contact details or you can contact me in my social media sites so I could connect you to a spiritual family.
Always keep the FAITH my dear brothers and sisters! ❤
“You have to remember when depression knocks at your door that you are among some of God’s choicest servants, like Elijah in the Old Testament and no less than the Apostle Paul in the New, who met depression on the field of battle and found an answer. They did and so can you. Yes, there is a solution to depression, whether it is discouragement, despondency or despair.” – Dr. Harold J. Sala
Today marks the second day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.
Today is the day of resistance but more revelations from the Spirit.
The second day of the prayer and fasting usually is the hardest, for it is the middle ground of fighting for your spiritual hunger over your physical hunger and the testing point if you will make it to the 3rd and last day without giving in to temptations. Temptations are very hard to control at this point for our physical bodies are already going through bouts of hunger, weakness is affecting the mind, and self-control is hardest to attain. And yet, this is the point that your spirit is strengthened for you rely more on spiritual strength which is equivalent to letting God take control of your entire well-being through prayers of strength, deliverance, guidance and sustenance.
Any food that you see will be a temptation; missed calls from him last night will tempt you to call him back today and chances of reconciling are high; and the temptation to turn on your phone and logging in on Facebook may seem inescapable. And yet the Spirit asks to wait for God – it is not yet the right time. Endure if you must. Let the Spirit control your heart, which controls your mind and then your mind controls your body. If I may describe the feeling, it is breathing not for this world but for God.
After attending the prayer meeting last night, our Pastors and spiritual leaders prophesied that there will be tangible revelations and assurances from God for making the harvest. And today’s prayer and fasting devotion is about honoring parents which is exactly the incident that happened with my fiance’s Mom last weekend. It was one of the things I prayed for last night and I woke up today browsing my Our Daily Bread booklet which is just one of the devotional books I read consistently for my daily devotion aside from my daily bible app via You Version.
And I must say that our spiritual leaders are right. For when I opened the page where I stopped yesterday, I was surprised that what was written there was not the regular daily devotion I usually see with the current date and the corresponding bible verse. What I saw instead was a “special article” regarding this – THE FORGIVENESS OF GOD.
Special devotion: God’s Forgiveness
I continued to read the article and indeed, today is a big revelation. For now I know that guilt and shame have been leading my life just like David’s all because of my failures and it has been affecting all aspects of my life. I didn’t notice it until I have read this special write up. And it also cleared a misconception when it comes to forgiveness. Which made me remember about a bible verse I posted about Jesus saying to Peter to forgive not just 7 times but 77 times. A close friend of mine who is also a sister in Christ asked/commented on that bible verse saying, “Sis, what if no asking of forgiveness took place?”
I was struck with that question and made me thought that just forgive and forgive just as God has forgiven us. So I told her, just pray to God just like how Jesus prayed saying, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
That was the answer that I thought was right at that moment. And yet while reading this article on God’s forgiveness, it was reiterated here that there is no such thing as “unconditional forgiveness.” For even God required that we must first proclaim our sins before God and repent before we get baptized or receive salvation which is God’s way of forgiving us and cleansing us from our sins.
Forgiving unconditionally is not right.
Now this is a huge enlightenment on my part for it answers so many questions I have regarding my past relationship. I have always forgiven even if there was no acknowledgement that happened from the wrongs committed. Thus, a change of heart was not there. And yet only God can touch the hearts of those who needed His light – only God can awaken those feelings of guilt, despair and hopelessness which will result to acts of surrender, repentance and asking of forgiveness. As believers, it is our part to wait until those who hurt us come to a point of repentance then forgive when they ask us for it.
Prayers. What we need are more prayers for more people to come into the Light, be healed and saved.
For it was also shared last night that prayers are very powerful. I can attest to that. A prayer sincerely said will surely give answers that may or may not answer your questions or requests but it is through prayers that God gives His instructions for a task that He wanted us done.
I went on to read my devotion for the day and there was that smile of relief again. It is about “Bouncing Back.” I am indeed on the right track and this assures me more that what I did was what God wanted me to do and these are all His plans.
July 1 Devotion via Our Daily Bread
I just love how the “last-liner” of today’s devotion appealed to my spirit right now:
“Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.”
I often wondered, this truly is not a coincidence. For how can this special article on God’s Forgiveness happens to be of great importance at just the right time, the situations I’ve been in, the decisions I have made and falling in the middle of the 3-day prayer and fasting in church. The developers of Our Daily Bread are not affiliated with our church and yet all are unified on what points call for prayers at this time of the year.
And I believe these revelations not only satisfy today’s prayer requests but this is part of God’s grand plan in the coming days, weeks, months and years. It just amazes me that when God calls out to His people, may you be from another part of this world with a different cultural and social background, all tasks were delegated in serving one common mission and goal.
Many were hurt because of the past turn out of events for the last couple of days, months and years – may it be global, national or personal. The issues need not be complicated nor dissected – they all are one and the same. God is asking we forgive where forgiveness is due. For in doing so, we honor Him.
And I believe what God was asking is that through forgiveness we can all worship Him together and in perfect UNITY – a call to be ready when the perfect time comes to make the harvest. Many will bow down just like what Joseph, the dreamer, has dreamed of.
And only One ruler will rule and one Kingdom will reign – God and His Kingdom. 🙂
This is my biological Dad. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! 🙂
This post may be a tad late for the Father’s Day celebration, but I was led by the Spirit to write this now. And I believe this will testify to yet another living testimony of God’s grace and love that run throughout all the generations of this world and the generations to come.
I am confident that downloading the movie The Shawshank Redemption (1994) from my brother’s hard drive two days ago where I got this inspiring quote from is not a choice by chance.
“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice.” – Red, The Shawshank Redemption
This was followed by a leading to one article I read while browsing in my Facebook news feed entries yesterday entitled 10 Songs To Strengthen Your Marriage which was a breather after going through quite some rough challenges lately when it comes to relational issues. It then finally led me to reading about the author of the article and her favorite Christian movies, one of them is Letters To God (2010).
I was prodded to watch it as I haven’t seen it and after crying buckets of tears and silently praying to God in my heart since I totally can relate to every scene in the movie, I was prompted to write this article. This will be my first and most important Father’s Day greeting I have written in my 30 years of existence to our one and only beloved and Greatest Father of all, GOD.
They are all not a coincidence. God has a plan for everything and for each and every one of us. That, I am sure of. So here goes my simple letter.
Dear Father God,
You have seen my struggles and yet you have opened my eyes to see the struggles of others too. It is hard to love others through their imperfections while dealing with my own and yet You teach me how to love like how You loved us every single day. I can only express my utmost gratitude in this short letter of mine because despite of the pain, the tears and the heartbreaks, You made me see the beauty behind it all.
You have made me see the truth, the “whys” and the “hows” of the existence of this and that from the tangible to the not so tangible. Most importantly, You have showed me that living life without You is empty, pointless and meaningless. Through it all, it is only the Cross that You have taught me to see, to look up to and then have a different perspective of this world and the things around me.
As much as I pray for the salvation of those around me, I actually pray for the salvation of everyone in this world. The world needs Your healing, Father. It needs more of Your love which never falters day in and day out for as long as there is a single form of life in this world. The Heavens and the Earth are all Yours. You have showered us with this magnificence to reveal to us that indeed, no other person could ever bridge those two together except through Your Son Jesus Christ whom You have risen from the dead who then became our way towards eternity.
You can see each and every heart in this Earth, Father, and I pray that You would continue to open them hearts and shine Your light upon them. There is nothing I could pray far too deeply right now than to let it be known to Your people how much they are loved by You for we are your precious children. I will continue to sing praises and worship You, my Father, as Your daughter. And I will love you as my Father who is always there for me and always will be until the end of time.
All these I pray in the Mighty Name of Jesus,
Amen.
2 Corinthians 3:3
“Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.”
Have you ever wondered why we have pebbles and not just big rocks?
Pebbles
How about flowers made from all sorts of sizes, shapes and colors and not just one?
Bromiliad
Why is it that a tiny creature such as a bug, has such a beautiful, golden green color as its shell?
Golden Bug
Colossians 1:16 NLT
“…for through Him, God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see–such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through Him and for Him.”
“He works in mysterious ways.”
How often do we hear this phrase? Very often to most of us and maybe to some this will be the first time you will read about this. In this article, allow me to let you delve deeper how God works and the amazing things that He has done not just to me but to the people around me. As much as I want to keep all things private in my personal life, I believe God wanted me to share some of them as a testimony of His Grace and His Love.
If you are to read my previous articles, it’ll give you an idea what are the current struggles that I am going through. And yes, I was on the point of hopelessly giving up. I am engaged and my fiance and I were planning to tie the knot next year. The quicker the time passes by, the more conflicts arise, the more challenging the trials become.
One of them is saving for the wedding. We both wanted a simple and intimate wedding for two reasons – it wouldn’t be costly and we wanted to share it with those who know us really well. But I am in this situation wherein I could not contribute anything to the expenses with the meager allowance I am getting out of my sister’s generosity to help me finish my graduate study in UP. I am in my last part of my graduate study finishing my thesis and I was advised by my thesis adviser that finishing it will require me to go full time in my master’s degree meaning I cannot get married this year or get a job.
I can only hope for my fiance’s savings at work which are not enough. We attended the Marriage Preparation seminar and it was discussed there that leaving your spouse to work abroad and earn enough to provide for your family is not the solution. You have to be with your spouse always because that is the commitment you have made when you got married – only death can do both of you part. My fiance considered about this option of working abroad. It became one of the conflicts we had to deal with. He was determined, I tried talking him out of it but to no avail. Until I came up with the decision that we would have to cancel the engagement for the meantime then pursue me again when we are both financially ready.
He doesn’t want to sacrifice the relationship over a career abroad. And yet both of us have no clues how to get married without having to borrow any single cent from anyone. We both agreed to just take things just as they are, leave them be and trust God for provisions. But sometimes it doesn’t come as easy as it sounds – pressure from friends and families asking about the wedding can sometimes be the cause of again facing that conflict wherein temper gets loose, impatience creeps in and negativity overtakes our thoughts.
Every night I would pray and I can’t help but cry out my pleas for help to the Lord. I waited but no answer came, we are still both in the same situation. But it was during those times that I did nothing but pray every morning and every night, devote more time to bible reading and gathering all devotion I could get. I know it is only through His Word that I will get my strength and courage and not give up. I always keep in mind that this relationship is different than my previous relationship because God gave me this when I was already a Christian – this was not a mistake. I will use my free will to honor God by honoring the commitment and by holding on to the beautiful promise that He wanted for both me and my fiance – to fulfill the Holy Matrimony.
Then came more conflicts which involves the families, attitudes, habits, relations with other people, priorities, the past mistakes, temptations, goals – every weakness we both have, God brought them all out into the open. The relationship was like a battle ship attacked from all sides by canyons, tossed to and fro in the sea.
But there is a God.
And I was grateful I was saved. One time when we broke up, someone from my past (an ex boyfriend), contacted me after 2 years of no communication. 4 years ago, we broke up violently to the point that I attempted to commit suicide, never had the chance to apologize to each other and yet I thank him for he is the reason why I got saved and I am where I am now. Exactly the time that my fiance and I decided to call things off, my ex boyfriend called me past midnight and told me he was dared by his best friend. I can tell that he was a bit drunk and this is what he told me,
“Tin, I am leaving for Australia for good. I just want to tell you that if you haven’t been too possessive on me, I would’ve married you.”
His best friend, in the background, shouted this, “You rocked his world!”
Well, I don’t know if I should be happy with what I heard but I took it as our formal closure. I could not remember if I got the chance to apologize because I was tongue-tied – he was telling the truth. Because exactly at that moment when my fiance and I broke up, it was for that very same reason, AGAIN. After he said his goodbyes, I can’t help but cry.
God, at that moment, was telling me that I need to learn from my mistake or I will end up losing another person I love and a precious relationship that could have been lived out beautifully. It was a sign to save the current relationship I have before it is too late – a reminder. It was my being possessive to the point that I was jealous of everyone around him that ruined the relationship and I could not enjoy my moments with him anymore. God does not want me to go through the same mistake because He has saved me from that already.
Ephesians 2:10 NLT
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
I know I am being put to a test right now – to prove that indeed I am new in Christ and the old has gone. It is through my fiance that God was finishing the work that He began in me – how to learn to trust someone who has a past as dark as mine and yet is not yet devoted in his faith. But I know too that through the tests, God will always be with me to make sure that I overcome the greatest weakness I have – my insecurities. I was just amazed that God reminded me of what I wrote in the placard during my Foundations for Victory class’ last day presentation.
Foundations for Victory is a month-long class after your water and holy baptism which we call in church, the Victory Weekend. Its purpose is to equip you in your spiritual journey by establishing your faith with the biblical foundations. And last night, I took a photo of what I wrote in the placard which was the old me before salvation versus the new me after salvation:
Only God can make you feel secure. 🙂
Philippians 1:6 NLT
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”
I can tell for certain that this relationship was given to me not to see me fail again but God wanted to help me overcome them consequences now that I am already saved. But my question was always this, “Father, my fiance is not a devoted Christian, how can we make our relationship work if You are not the center of his life?”
Again, I was basing everything on what I see and hear, not trusting God and His plans. I always rely on my own understanding and yet again, I was reminded:
Proverbs 3:5 NLT
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”
During the Marriage Preparation seminar, we had a workshop wherein the couples have to answer a set of questions and these are the questions.
1. Is it God’s plan for me to marry? Why? How do I know this?
2. Is it God’s plan for me to marry the person I am with? Why? How did God reveal this to you?
After answering, I told my fiance that I am not going to read his answers at that moment, I’ll just read them during our wedding. But after the several conflicts we have had and on the verge of losing hope for the relationship, I re-read our Marriage Preparation booklet and I stumbled upon our answers – I read my fiance’s. I got another confirmation from the Lord – we both have similar answers. And his was even more beautiful:
1. “Yes. God wanted me to experience His blessings (having children and a happy family) because I am His child.”
I cried, I was humbled. I was so wrong. How could I even doubt his faith when faith is a personal relationship with the Lord? It is between you and Him. How could I be so doubtful, so assuming, not trusting the Lord and His plans? How could I judge him so wrongly?
But then, there came the enemy filling me again with doubts: Are you sure your fiance wrote it sincerely? Or he was just playing along with the questions and he knows what answer he is expected to write to please you?
Doubts. Enough with the doubts. Enough with the deception that the enemy has been trying to lure me ever since. Enough with my insecurities. I know my God. My God is the greatest God and He will do anything to keep me and my faith. I may have fallen at times but right now He requires me to stand and fight for Him until my last breath – put into practice what He has taught and trust in the Spirit’s leading. It is not for me to know what happens in the future, He just wants me to trust and obey.
And God stayed faithful and just. For His wonders never stopped there. It was at this point that my fiance and I had the biggest miracle we could ever imagine. I was on the point of sacrificing my master’s degree so I could follow him when he works abroad just so we would not sacrifice the relationship, or he works abroad, I stay here and finish my master’s degree but sacrifice the relationship. Tough decisions to make they are, and yet God gave the answer – better opportunities at his workplace. It was our only hope.
My fiance was reluctant at first if he will get it, but I told him to take the chance. Told him God will give it to you if it His will for you and if you sincerely pray in your heart that you want it because we both need it – not for ourselves but for Him because we wanted to honor the commitment, we are willing to make sacrifices to uphold that commitment. I told him that prayers are so powerful if you believe in every single word that you have uttered in that prayer and believe in God. So there we were praying for each other, encouraging one another when making choices prove to become so difficult.
John 16: 24
“You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.”
And then….YES, it was given. At that moment, I cried with joy. How faithful indeed is the Lord! My fiance gets to stay with me, I get to finish my master’s degree, we both can be secure with our future. He indeed deserves all the honor and glory and I will forever be thankful to my Lord, my Savior.
Doubts may creep in that it is not meant to be but I will continue hoping and I will continue praying. I always pray that God would protect both of us from the attacks of the enemy for I know there are forces in this world that contest that which is good and pleasing which came from the Lord. As it is written:
1 Peter 5:8 NLT
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”
The kind of salvation that I am praying for my fiance may not be what is happening now. But it is only for God to know what happens in the future. All I know is that both of us are being transformed every single day to become the persons that He wanted us to be teaching us the essence of what it really means to be a Christian – to have patience, to have peace, to be faithful, to love selflessly, to sacrifice, to endure, to forgive, to be prayerful and most of all to know God personally and deeply through our Lord, Jesus Christ.
I could still remember the early times in our relationship and after the first few conflicts, I shared to my sister in Christ whom I admire deeply on how she handled her relationship and is now happily married, that my fiance is not yet devoted in his faith. And her answer was, “Be patient, Tin and pray.” After all this and what is to come, I can only be so very grateful that I have a God who is this:
Revelation 1:8 NLT
“I am the Alpha and the Omega—the beginning and the end,” says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.”
How do you make opposite ends meet? A positive and a negative always repel. Same as good and evil. As with everything else that are opposites in this world.
Let’s say two persons coming from exactly two different backgrounds met and fell in love, how do you keep them together?
The only answer is this: only God can.
But what if God revolves at the core existence of one person and God is “just there” for the other?
Now this is where things get complicated. I have been with my spiritual family via the church for only about a couple of years. And I have seen how faith can bridge distances and cultural differences regardless if you are rich or poor, pretty or not, intelligent or not, educated or uneducated, etc.
And yet, as I go through my devotion and bible reading everyday along with the Spirit’s guidance, the thought that faith and hope indeed only come after love is always reiterated. It is love that makes every relationship work.
Yes, passe.
But I guess this is the part where I would stress out that the love I am talking about here is not the kind of love that everybody is familiar with. Nor is it even the ones that we see on romantic movies or we read in romance novels. This kind of love, as most Christians know, is love that directly points to God. The kind of love that is so hard to achieve.
This was the kind of love that God has been teaching me for this season. Not only for my partner but for his family and the other people I met through him. I do not want to judge. But for the sake of understanding where my point is coming from, I’d have to describe some characteristics that I have observed.
Being a Christian is not a name that you flaunt around. In fact, being a Christian entails deeper, bigger and heavier responsibilities. An unbelieving spouse, for one, can cause conflict in the relationship when persecution becomes present in the relationship because of differences in religious beliefs and practices even though both of you are Christians but only one is a believer.
Values, manners, upbringing, lifestyle – they all become factors affecting how a couple will run the relationship if God is not present. They become a baggage that both couple had to carry and only then can you realize that without God, you will lose hope in enduring the sacrifices you make, the consequences you had to face of a mistake that you did not commit, restoring relationships and facing persecution.
For example, how would you feel if on a Good Friday, you were invited by his family to go to a bar and grill such as Pier One instead of staying at home, praying and pondering on the sacrifices made by Jesus Christ on the Cross? I would’ve chosen the latter if I have the choice, but at that time, I unfortunately do not have that privilege. My heart screamed. I wanted to rebel, to cry out and say my “NO.” But I know all I can ever do is to pray for the Spirit’s leading instead of complaining.
I did not drink any alcohol though they tried to offer me some. I ate, I tried to listen to the band performing until came the moment I could not bear it all I contacted the first spiritual mentor I have – my brother. And his suggestion was for me to stand firm in my faith and endure it all. He told me that maybe that is the reason why God put me there in the first place. To let them see what it is to be a Christian not only by name but in action, in words and in faith.
And then the situation reminded me exactly of what Jesus did on the Cross – He endured everything not uttering a single word complaining or a word expressing His discomfort. Except only when He asked God why He had forsaken Him. Now a lot of verses filled my head such as this one:
“For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in His steps.” – 1 Peter 2:21 NLT
And then you thought that is the only conflict you had to go through. Come familial attachments and values that are a barrier too high and too solid to break. I was on the verge of persecuting and judging others. Yes, I was beginning to feel hopeless and yet God never failed to remind me how it is to REALLY love despite the differences, the persecution, the suffering and the pain. I was led to verses and biblical quotations day after day supplying me the Godly wisdom that I needed. And sometimes the effort does not come from my own anymore but God supplied even the strength and the courage that I needed to muster.
This was one of the quotations that I felt God was talking to me directly at the time that I needed it most:
“Be as patient with others as God has been with you.” – Our Daily Bread
I know God will fight this battle for me. I was only a soldier and He is my commander. On my end, He requires me to be patient, to endure and to follow where He leads me. It is not for me to decide whether I win or lose. But I have the assurance that fighting a battle with God will surely end in eternal glory – something that this world can never define. God will never give something that will break you and your faith apart. For it was His plan to send His son on Earth and it is Jesus’ role to come before us and carry our sins, the barrier between man and God, so we can receive the gift of salvation and have a personal relationship with Him.
It is just amazing how God uses people, circumstances and resources to fulfill the mission He has set out for you. Indeed, they are all part of His much bigger plans that our mere mortal minds can never comprehend.
Looking back and pondering now, the only question that I remembered asking God so many times was this:
“Father, why is it so difficult to love people the way that You have loved us?”
And my constant prayer in this season was this:
“Father, teach me to have eyes that see the good in people and the heart that loves them the way You have loved them.”
The answer is always a personal encounter, a conviction or an instruction. One answer came through my hobby in sketching – my very first sketch on faith, Jesus and the crown of thorns accompanied by the following verses:
“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.And because you belong to Him, the powerof the life-giving Spirit has freed youfrom the power of sin that leads to death.” – Romans 8: 1-2 NLT
The Journeyman's Moments 