The musings of a wandergeselle about faith, literature, music, dancing, culture, food, travels, art, fashion, photography, life experiences, and everything in-between from journée to journée.
I have often asked myself that question before I got saved. Like a thousand times over. And they soon lessened bit by bit when I devoted much of my time reading the bible and in praying. Soon after, answers were given, not all at the same time. Some were shown right away, some remained as silent as they are. But one thing is clear – there is a mission.
As I was reading more of the bible every single day, I realized that there is one common mission for all – to spread the Word. Same way as Jesus did when He was sent in this world. It is just a matter of choosing in what manner did God call you to spread the Word.
What I will be writing, as with everything I have put here in this blog, are all personal opinions. Anyone is free to contest or agree. But I am hoping it’ll strike somehow a new perspective in each and everyone of us.
As of right now, we all have certain roles that we are currently fulfilling – a daughter, student, employee, boss, etc. Those that were preset so to speak – roles that do not come from our own choices. We didn’t choose to be born a daughter or a son, nor when we got hired, nor was it our choice to go to nursery school as soon as we learn how to read or when we got promoted, etc. But there are those that require a major decision making, a point of seeking. And that includes our mission, our purpose – one that deals with a lot of contemplating before finally making a choice. I am sure more or less we wonder or there is that moment in your life you asked yourself, “What am I living for?”
How do you find out what and where does God want you to share His Word?
In my case, it is in my interests. Tapping the things that I find joy doing is where I found God’s mission for me. We cannot say however that that is where everyone will find their mission too. There are those who found it in their line of work, in school, at home or overseas. It could be anything and anywhere actually. But one thing’s for sure, it is from somewhere and something that your heart is closely attached to, something that gives you fire and passion. For it is the heart that God is after in us, not our background, what we have or have accomplished.
Contemplating usually leads to knowing your deeper sense of self. It gives you that moment of looking and searching the very depths of your soul, of who you are. But a word of caution should be taken here – our selves can be one avenue where the enemy can trap us with deception and lies such as making us feel worthless, brooding on self pity, feeling inadequate, insecure, and a whole lot of negative perceptions that can hamper the good image that God wanted us to have with ourselves.
When I got saved, it wasn’t just a spiritual reawakening for me but more about rediscovering myself in the light. Something that I am unaware all these years – of things that have lain dormant. Only when the Spirit’s tapped your inner being can you claim that God has magnificently and uniquely created you not just as an individual but as His daughter/son.
When we seek God’s purpose and mission for our lives, He will give us everything that we need to prepare us for that mission. Opportunities will be given and circumstances will work in a way that we know only God can do and is capable of.
But my greatest advice is this:
Never compare yourself to others, what others do and what they have accomplished. You will never get the chance to know yourself more if you are busy knowing the lives of others and trying to live the lives they live. Do not say “I want to be like that too.” Instead pray and say, “God, how do you want to use me?”
Keep in mind that God has something unique in store just for each and everyone of us. Same way that He has chosen a special partner in life just for you if it is His will you be married. We should always keep in our hearts that popularity and achievements are not included for it is not in God’s purpose for each and everyone of us to rely on them especially if it is not His name that is glorified in the process. As what the bible states,
But He gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.” – James 4:6
In all that we do, what we should foster is that of having a humble servitude. Do not think about what you will get in return from the service you have rendered but what good did others get from your service. Exactly like how Jesus Christ was able to complete His mission – serving the Lord God and the people of this world in HUMILITY.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up with honor.” – James 4:10
God knows we are weak. He knows we will be needing Him. What it takes to know God’s mission for us is to acknowledge boldly and courageously the fact that we are weak but will only be made strong through Him. When we are ready, there will be no stopping us, faith will have its voice in whatever medium it may be.
Do not fear failure, criticism, condemnation and suffering because of upholding to the mission appointed to us – the Cross will be our hope, peace and will be our guide. God never forsakes those who stood up to their faith until time will come to say our work is finished.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
Lastly, this is what “niche” means:
NICHE .noun.
– a shallow recess, especially one in a wall to display a statue or other ornament
I was already prompted to list down this topic a few months back, 6/26 to be specific. But it stayed as a draft until now, 7/27.
I guess one reason was that I only have limited information to share about it at that time. But the Spirit knew that time will come, this article will be published in its due time and will bear more meaning, which is today.
If you will look closely at the time, yup, I had this revelation during my “creative waking hour.” That particular time starting 10 in the evening until midnight. If you have read my previous articles like this one – https://thejourneymansmoments.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/the-promise-rings-2/, it’ll give you a bit of information already regarding the significance of numbers, including time, in the bible. But then, it was a bit vague for me before. But now, looking into the topic deeper made me understand things even better – an enlightenment yet again.
Which will bring us to this conclusion: God did not create Mathematics, numbers, formulas and figures for nothing. Yes, obviously they are what makes some innovations and technologies run in the present day such as the world wide web which is composed of a system or network that deals mostly with numbers.
BUT, a deviation from that is the idea or assumption that God also embedded numerical figures in the Scripture to also serve as “solutions” to “problems” to “make things work.” I know Mathematicians (like a brother in Christ of mine) will agree that the solution to a Mathematical problem is through formulas/computations to arrive to a CLEAR and DEFINITE answer. 🙂
I interpret it in the bible as decoding the numerical symbols. Take note, I now used the word “symbol” which is also similar to “signs” and “codes.” But no, this is not an adaptation from Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. I am just sharing a wisdom that was passed on to me and it was out of my passion to seek for Godly wisdom that I believe led me to knowing more about the biblical significance of numbers – through the guidance of the Spirit of course. Reading this article might lead you too in studying more about the Scripture and the numbers and be enlightened, amazed and feel more connected to God. I cannot tell exactly if that is how you will be receiving the information as I believe each of one of us was called by the Spirit to learn and interpret things differently. What matters is how POSITIVE the learning experience was for you.
If it led you to disillusionment or posed more doubts and negative questions, then possibly you need more of the Spirit’s guidance in interpreting what was given or shown to you – through a prayer. Seek for guidance and discernment as doubts will be the enemy’s weapon to use his most powerful way to trap you under his wing – deception and lies. Seek for the TRUTH. Pray it aloud, say it aloud to God, He will and He will lead you.
But if it led you to a positive response such as enlightenment, amazed, a clearer understanding of everything, a process of piecing one puzzle after the other leading to near completion, and a better appreciation of God’s Word, then it is by all means, a guided learning from the Spirit. Say a prayer of gratitude when this happens for wisdom doesn’t have a price tag, especially if they came from God. That is how precious it is and that is also why we should guard it at all costs by not allowing the enemy to use it against us through prayers. He did use it against Jesus but Jesus is the TRUTH and nothing can stand against the TRUTH. For He is the ONLY way and the LIGHT which is stronger than darkness.
As this article tells us that,
So let the fun “decoding” begin. 😉
Let me start by sharing the numbers that are usually attached to significant events that happened to me personally. These realizations came flooding in like one big bright light eureka moment just last night. Amazing, it is. 😀
2002-58885 (This is my student number or ID number in college where I am now completing my graduate study. We refer to this as our “life line” in UP Diliman as you will use it and you will be identified through it more often than you use your name in your entire stay in the university. Believe me, this is how the students connect with each other especially when it comes to “batches” and other interests come after this.)
8/8/2008 (This was my first job wherein I was able to the help the deaf and mute community by relaying their messages to bank representatives, restaurants, personal calls to families and relatives, etc. and allowed me an opportunity to save money and buy this laptop I am now using and my dslr – both are serving their purposes in fulfilling the mission God appointed to me.)
96 (This is my favorite pair of numbers as it stands for my first name which is Christine and my surname which is Ginete.
3/3/13 (This was the day of my salvation, the day that I was born again.)
8/17 (The very recent significant numbers, which is the date of my civil wedding.)
If you will notice, I never selected these numbers. Not even our civil wedding date (I will share more a bit later). Yes, it was predicted already even before the world begun. I think I know what you are thinking. 🙂
For starters, what’s the significance of my student number 2002-58885? Let’s remove 2002 and focus on 58885. In the bible, the number 5 represents “power and Divine grace.”
The number 8 symbolizes the number of salvation. And the “gematria of the name Jesus in Greek is 888: a trinity of eights, the fullness of salvation!”
To interpret my student number it will be this: Grace + Jesus Christ + Grace. 🙂
8/8/2008 was the year that I was hired at my first job, which originally operates after a good cause – that of helping the deaf and mute community in the US. I loved this job, the mission, my workmates, the financial benefits and this is the reason why I decided to pursue a graduate study in Special Education wherein providing assistance to the deaf and mute community is among the areas that this specialization covers. But God intended I leave the company, much to my regret, but it gave me the opportunity to pursue my graduate study full time.
Again, trinity of eights which represents the name of Jesus. Of course there is 2 or 20 but I know that this date is somehow special to me. Again, it is not a coincidence I got hired on this date. 🙂
96 is a pair of two numbers that represents the letters of my first and my last name. Thus, they became my favorite pair of numbers. Little did I know that it has a biblical significance. 9 is related to the number six as stated in the article below:
“It is significant of the end of man and the sum of all man’s works. Nine is therefore the number of finality or judgment.”
3/3/13 was the day of my salvation at the age of 27. According to the article below, 3 is the number of perfect completion for the Jews and it symbolizes the perfection of the Godhead – the Most Holy Trinity. More of this can also be found in this article:
8/17/15 was our civil wedding day. Yes, this is the newest entry in the revelations I’ve had pertaining to numbers. We actually didn’t plan this date as true enough to what our spiritual mentors told us, an engaged couple will be tested all the more as the engagement period gets longer. Two days prior to my claiming our Marriage License, there came a conflict that almost made us cancel the wedding. Indeed, the longer the engagement period becomes, the more that the enemy will get stronger in attempting to make the relationship fail so it wouldn’t end up in a marriage.
We only have two reasons why we pushed through with our civil wedding: loved ones from our families cannot come on the date that we have decided to have our church wedding this year and we were advised not to have a long engagement period.
And of course, since it is a special moment for me and it happened, I sought for the spiritual significance of the numbers. I am already familiar with the number 8 but I am not sure with 17. So I decided to search for it and it is through this need to learn about it that this article came into completion and I was able to slowly connect one dot from the other and put one piece of the puzzle after the other.
What was even amazing is that the combination of the numbers 7 and 8 “has a remarkable connection.”
And that the number 17 “symbolizes overcoming the enemy and complete victory.”
Therefore 8/17 means salvation/resurrection/new birth and overcoming the enemy/complete victory.
And here’s more…
We did not even predict that this will be our wedding day. And yet, when I checked my website out of the blue, I received a notification that my site statistics shoot up on this day. So out of curiosity, I checked it out. And here are my findings:
It is amazing how these numbers fell on the list: 8, 40, 7, 2, 33, 36, 5 which all are significant numbers in the Scripture. Which made me contemplate, were these 8 persons who viewed my page can be called as “angels?” 😀
What amazed me too is staring at this part of the statistics with mouth agape the following day:
I interpreted it as Holy Thursday or Thursday of Mysteries to some and there goes the 3:00 AM time frame. And guess what day is today? 🙂
What about the names?
I have previously contemplated and made an article on this or have mentioned this in my previous articles like my name Christine which means “a follower of Christ” and I ended up being married to a Joseph which I firmly believe as God’s will. And just a random thought came up how many months back that if ever I bear him a son for our firstborn, I will name him Zaphen which is short for the Egyptian name of Joseph, Zaphenath Paneah, meaning “ruler of nations.”
I mentioned in a previous article too regarding my husband’s Dad who has coworkers whose names are Job and Revelation. I have read the book of Job but I haven’t read the entire book of Revelation.
So that’s what I read just recently and a lot of thoughts came in. All were assumptions and yet I know I cannot claim with utmost authority they will turn out to be true. Well, the human part of me tells me I just have a mind of a writer that is why my imagination goes as far as it can go given some certain information – piecing the puzzle together. But I know all will be revealed in God’s perfect time according to God’s perfect ways. 🙂
But do allow me to share what my findings are which I find sort of interesting and exciting but with a little bit of fear and uncertainty. Yet God never fails to assure us in this verse:
Hebrew 10:43 NLT
“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.”
The book of Revelation is all about Jesus’ second coming. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you read it as I believe God is calling us to read it. 🙂
It was indicated in the book what will happen in that second coming. There was a mention of the Great Earthquake, thunder, the 144,000 chosen people who will be saved (which includes those from the tribe of Joseph), the 7 churches, the angels, the devil, and lastly the woman who is pregnant with a baby who will rule the world and Satan chases after her so he could snatch the baby away from her but God made sure the woman and the baby are well-protected.
Me and my husband do not plan to have a baby this year, but if God wills it, then I know there will be a baby. If I conceive this month or next month, I am due to deliver the baby by May or June 2016.
The number of the enemy/beast/Satan is 666 or 616. My graduation date from my Master’s degree in UP Diliman falls on 6/26/2016. If I indeed graduate, which I really am hoping will happen, it will be freedom from the long struggle that I have been through trying to finish it for about 5 and 1/2 years now.
I can’t help but wonder, is 6/6/16 or 6/16/16 or 6/26/16 or the days after that be the moment that the reign of the enemy will end – Jesus will come? But then, only God REALLY knows when. 🙂
But when Jesus arrives, I have the Spikenard perfume to anoint Him, like what Magdalena did. Kidding. *wink* Well, honestly, arriving to this made me smile so big that I thought, “Okay Tin, people might think you are now talking rubbish.” Well, I have a God who does a lot of mysteries you can’t help but just smile your biggest and your sweetest when you encounter one. 😀
Sometimes knowing things makes you a bit scared but for the whole part, there goes the enlightenment. Usually it is associated to the purpose that God has called you to fulfill which is your mission. And yet, you will also be reminded of the verse I shared before this. There really is nothing to be afraid of or that maybe things happen by chance. For I believe they all happen because of a purpose – that of fulfilling God’s plans.
Prior to the wedding, I was so busy with everything and yet I felt the urge to share stuff about my faith on this blog but because I was so tired, I always would skip it until the next day. Until a sure message from the Spirit finally pushed me to sharing this. I encountered this comment from a cousin of mine (Hi Nadja! *wink*) in one of the bible verses I posted on Facebook. And I know it is one of the “gentle tuggings” calling me to go back to my mission – share my faith through my blog.
Do you believe in miracles? Yes, I do. Because I believe in God and in Jesus Christ, of whom all the wonders and mysteries in this world were made possible through faith. It’s just that my mind is very limited to knowing and interpreting the entirety of God’s plans and schemes and how they work because I am only human and I am no God. 😉
To end this, I will just share this devotion I had in one of my bible study plans from my You Version bible app and just want to highlight what faith and patient endurance mean. For I know that is what God wants us to have in preparation for the Second Coming. I know that for believers, it will be so much rejoicing and celebration – a very happy one. 🙂
“Genesis 37:1–36
Rachel, Jacob’s favorite wife, bore only two children: Joseph and Benjamin. She died giving birth to Benjamin, at which time Jacob seemed to transfer all his affection for her to Joseph. His favoritism stoked intense jealousy among Joseph’s ten older brothers, and Joseph’s dreams that they would all bow down to him pushed them over the edge.
Even though Joseph’s life seemed to go in the opposite direction of his dreams, God was already working to fulfill those dreams. That’s often how God’s promises function in our lives: We trust in God, but then our circumstances contradict our faith. In the process, our faith is stretched, strengthened and eventually satisfied. Sometimes that process takes years—it certainly did for Joseph—but in the end faith and patient endurance are duly rewarded.”
And last but not the least, it also came perfectly in time that one of my best soul sisters shared to me this great movie on Facebook just a few days after all of these revelations. I highly encourage you to watch this – just the perfect ending perfect to cap off this article. 🙂
I was in the middle of washing dishes when a thought moved me to a realization, moved me to tears that moved me to declare God’s Greatness.
And the only thing I could blurt was: “How could I be so negative about everything just because what has happened or what is happening are not what I have expected?”
I have learned that working abroad and leaving your family behind is not an option for every couple. I believe this is the reason why more emphasis on this is given nowadays to every young couple. And though I have learned this now, it somehow gave me an opportunity to regard couples who have already made this decision in a negative way thinking why they made that decision or why did God allow them to make that decision – which is wrong.
Because by doing so I was judging them unknowingly. It was only today that the Spirit led me to God’s answers. A gentle tugging of the heart that led to once and again and as always – humility.
My fiance grew up in this set up. I do not know how it was for him as he never shared anything to me about this and I don’t want to be the first to ask him. Guys never share emotional stuff on a regular basis compared to the ladies. 😉
But I did feel the lack that he feels. Especially when as a future husband now, we got to talk things about priorities and me wanting my children to grow up in a setup wherein both of us are physically present advising him that their parents’ case is different than ours. And I cannot tell if I hurt him in one of those conversations touching one deep wound or scar.
And yet this is where God proved to be so faithful in His promises. When I met my fiance, he did not fulfill the requirements that our church asks in choosing a Godly man for a partner. But like I shared previously, my fiance believes in God, goes to church but did not go thru the “legalities” of the church to be saved or like how I was saved.
I prayed to God about this in the Prayer and Fasting 2014. And when we became a couple, I have made my decision without a doubt. But little did I know that this little “technical issue” could be used by the enemy to deceive me with his lies.
And yet I also believed that God allowed it to happen so I could be tested. A lot of conflicts came to the point that I always tell him it is because he is not yet that devoted that is why we are having these conflicts. And yet God would always rebuke me to the point of utmost humility that it is actually I who have so little faith.
This verse was His reminder:
“Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” – Galatians 2:16
Daily Devotion
And also this:
“Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” – Romans 14:1
Then I told my fiance once that as my future husband he will be the spiritual leader of our family – a concept that he had a hard time grasping as he didn’t know how because this was not the kind of family he came from.
And yet God was so faithful. For though my fiance’s Dad is so far away from them and he gets to visit the family for a short period of time once a year, God still made sure he will fulfill his role as the spiritual leader of his family.
Yes, no oceans are wide enough and no land is ever far enough for God’s love and His promises to be fulfilled, which was the realization that I had just now.
My fiance shared to me that two of his dad’s best coworkers were here in the Philippines for a visit and requested they all have dinner with them. He told me that these two are the ones that his Dad are closest with at work and gets to share a lot of things with. And what I heard next from my fiance came as a surprise to me:
“They told me and Buds that my Dad would always tell them that they reminded him of his sons back home as they are our age. But what made me cry is when they told us that our Dad would tell them everything about us and how hard it is to live without your family.”
And it was also this that I cried. For I believe those two work buddies were actually angels sent by God to accompany my fiance’s Dad all throughout the different seasons that he is in away from home. God honored the sacrifice and yet it could also be so that God’s plans will be completed. For it was also through them that my fiance’s Dad exemplified the role as the spiritual leader of his family. For he would request my fiance to download podcasts during church service and the movies that he selected that has something to do with faith. My fiance gets to hear those podcasts and gets to download the movies and he gets to watch it too.
One of those two buddies also happen to have a fiance who is a SpEd teacher in California. The same as the field I am specializing right now and most definitely will be my future career too. 🙂
You wouldn’t believe me, but I know you would just like I did when my fiance told me what were the names of the two best buddies of his Dad at work – Job and Revelation. 😉
I have long held on to the fact that nothing is ever a coincidence with God may it be good or bad in our own knowledge and interpretation. And I believe it is in this faith that God made me see how true He is in His promises. I read the book of Revelation and it all came as a promise of an assured hope.
I held on to my relationship with my fiance though times would come that we are sure we could not see the light anymore and we are sure that we are becoming totally exactly the opposite that God wanted us to become – totally undeserving of His mercy and forgiveness. And yet God stayed faithful and true to His promise in these times of vulnerability and “nakedness.” By prayers, forgiveness and faith, my fiance and I held on to our commitment as an act of honoring God, His unwavering love and His faithfulness.
It is in this relationship that I was brought closer to God. It is in this relationship that I sought Him with all my heart. And it is in this relationship that I was more in tune with the Spirit, the bible verses became more meaningful to me and I can apply what I am learning from the Scripture. It was thru his mom that I got my first ever Our Daily Bread devotional which feeds my spiritual hunger daily and it is thru my fiance’s Dad that I got hold of the Spikenard Magdalena perfume which prompted me to read more about it learning more Godly wisdom in the process.
In short, it is in this relationship that I am learning more of God and His love every single breathing moment that I make each day.
It’s just that, I didn’t know – at first. And I used to have so little faith. 😉
“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:9
(Disclaimer: This is a very long post but definitely worth the read.) 🙂
I believe many are already familiar what promise rings are. But in case some of you still are unfamiliar with it, this is a definition I got from Wikipedia:
“A Promise ring symbolizes a commitment to a promise and is given to a person as a token or reminder of his/her decision…”
But I guess what we could highlight in this definition is this: commitment to a promise.
But before I get on to that, do allow me to share just a quick update regarding my current status. If you have been one of my avid readers, you would know by now that my fiance and I decided to take a two-week “cool off” period wherein we were back to being single and strangers? Definitely not. For God was faithful enough to have kept our communication going and again, not let our hearts be hardened by the negative circumstances that we went through.
We haven’t had the time to personally talk things out and just prayed to God to guide us through the week so we could re-align our plans and our thoughts with His. I shared in my previous articles that during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, I asked God for assurances if the decisions and the commitments I have made were indeed according to His will.
It was hard to let go of a person you love so much, but when God asks you to, you have no choice but to obey just like what Abraham did when he was ready to sacrifice his son’s (Isaac) life. You don’t know in that moment of decision-making why God asked you to. But if you are to ask me if indeed it was what God wanted, I can answer with “yes” for the decision came during our Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.
And yet during those 3 days of Prayer and Fasting, I also asked God if I should let him go completely or was it something temporary, a “breather” so that the two of us could see His beautiful promise and not drown ourselves in the multitude of conflicts we are having – sort of a reminder where our relationship should be going and how we should be loving each other, God’s way.
Came the sign which I shared in my More Revelations (Part 2) article about my fiance’s name. All I had at that time were prayers and my faith and all that ever mattered to me was conversing with my God and nothing else. Yet, I have put my trust and hopes in God and God alone.
Two weeks passed.
In those two weeks, I was more in tune to the Spirit’s leading. Revelations upon revelations, tangible assurances, more Godly wisdom, more of God’s wonders working anywhere and anytime, everything was all about God. I was able to experience freedom by the end of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting, answers were given, Godly wisdom on generational curses, learning about what was plaguing me for the past years without me realizing it, until eventually this word popped out – fear.
Fast forward to last weekend, my fiance asked me for a chance to talk things out personally. I always declined saying we should wait upon God for His right time. I thought about seeking counsel from my first spiritual mentor, my brother, and this was his advice:
Brotherly advice from a brother in Christ and my brother for real. 😉
I listened to my brother and continued praying until came the time when my fiance asked me again if he could see me last Saturday, to which I said “yes.” We were able to talk some matters over the phone the past days but I know there are still more that were left unsaid, more that need to be said and more that are better said in person.
An out-pour of prayers came, we met and then came the moment of that big question: “Are you really ready in your heart for this commitment, this big commitment which is marriage?”
Both our answers were a “yes.” The agreement was then mutual. Apologies were said and accepted, love overruled. So there we were continuing on from where we ended. When I made this re-commitment, I felt that I was making a pledge that indeed, no matter what happens, like what my brother said, there’s no more backing out. Fight for faith, continue hoping and most especially fight for love.
I have always believed that God planned everything, and I mean everything from the smallest details and the mundane to the biggest and the marvelous. This includes dates and numbers.
For the date, I thought there must be something to the date when I felt I was ready to talk with my fiance or should I say, it was already God’s perfect time. I am aware that the enemy is also working full time to destroy what God’s plans are. And of course, we all know that the holy matrimony is one of God’s best creations. For in a holy marriage and through marriages future disciples and spiritual leaders are born. But I know for sure as well that God won’t allow a marriage to fall apart if He allowed the union to be part of His even greater plans.
So why Saturday, July 12, 2015?
Okay, I remembered. I was just this total amnesia girl that I forgot it was the day before our 18th monthsary as a couple. 😀
“Praise be to God” was all I could blurt out. What a beautiful way to reconcile. Indeed, there is always something to celebrate after God gave us some time away from our troubles so we could appreciate the beauty that God has created in our relationship. The first week that we had our “break time,” his engagement proposal happened. Yesterday was our 18th monthsary, July 12 – what an awesome, wonderful way to celebrate it. I need not ask for any gift or special way to celebrate it, except I could only offer in return a heart full of gratitude to my Father up above who wished for nothing else but a better life for His sons and daughters.
So the day ended with a smile. I slept with a peaceful heart.
Early Sunday morning, July 12, our monthsary day, I suddenly woke up. I felt the need to urinate. So down I went, drank a glass of water and headed upstairs. When I got back to bed, I was so wide awake as if I haven’t slept at all. I checked the clock, it’s 3:03am. Wow, that is the same time for the past months that I wake up every now and then and could not sleep for no apparent reason at all. The very recent prior to this was the night before I broke up with my fiance and thought I heard someone calling my name. It was during that moment that I contemplated and decided to let him go.
But this time it was different. Here I was in bed staring at the ceiling with a smile on my lips reminiscing the events that happened the day before. Yes, I thought maybe because I just cannot contain my happiness that my fiance and I were back together. Then a phrase just popped up in my head all of a sudden – “real love drives out fear.”
Okay, now where did that come from? It was not even connected to my current thought – recalling yesterday’s events. And the phrase sounded right but not really right to me. But I was sure I have heard or read it somewhere, somehow. So what I did, I grabbed my phone, turned my WiFi on and searched ever reliable Google with the phrase/sentence. And the search results centered on only one thought – a bible verse which says:
1 John 4:18 ESV
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
Okay, so that explained why it popped up – I definitely have read this before but my synapses could not just particularly locate that memory bank where I stored it. But thank God for technology, I can easily locate those lost memories by giving me something to remember them through more additional information and clues.
And I smiled even more when upon seeing the search results, the top 3 sources that came up were from the ministries that I highly look up to as a Christian: Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren and Desiring God. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe God has a reason for waking me up at this hour. So I started reading all 3 articles by said authors and I found 3 words common in all 3 articles: perfect love, God’s love and fear.
Allow me to share some of the screenshots I took for documentation purposes and do take note of the time. For I will be sharing more revelations in the succeeding paragraphs.
Joyce Meyer
Rick Warren
Desiring God
But going back to the bible verse, I was having my dose of Godly wisdom when a question popped in my head again: “why does it have to be “real love”? Usually, for the bible verses, most of the time I get the phrases correct especially if they are the usual bible verses that I have been encountering during devotion time. 1 John 4:18 was not an exemption for I have read it quite a couple of times already. And yet what was with the phrase “real love?” Where did it come from? I am sure I have encountered it somewhere too, something that has quite that significance to me for me to be able to somehow store it in my long term memory but could not point out exactly where.
Then came the “Eureka!” moment and I almost laughed aloud. For this was where I have seen it and now I know why it was retained because it is that significant. The following is a photo of the “dummy” rings that my fiance and I bought a couple months back as during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church, we were advised to use “dummy” rings in the actual wedding ceremony as the real thing might be misplaced and eventually lose them because of all the preparations and the hectic activities lined up for the said event. It was the first thing that we bought and we really don’t know why back then. 😀
I was actually the one who suggested we buy the rings when I browsed online for wedding rings. And I know it was not a coincidence that I felt the urge though I do not know why. But I acted upon it and I believe it was not also a coincidence when came the time that my fiance and I were choosing what ring design would best fit us and this particular design came into our hands. My first choice was a glittery ring but when my fiance tried it, his feminine, slim hands, looked REALLY feminine. So, it was a no-no for us.
The second choice was a plain silver band but then again there’s no available size for my fiance. Then this was the point that the shop owner suggested another pair. I didn’t like it at first. Because I wanted the rings to just have a clean and simple finish since it’s just going to be a “dummy” ring. I mean, it wouldn’t really matter for what matters would be our actual wedding rings. But then again, this pair was the only pair wherein the wedding ring for the groom fitted my fiance’s ring finger just right. And one more thing, I don’t like rings with inscriptions at the outer side of the ring. Well, let’s say I am still a bit old fashioned when it comes to these things. 😀
But in the end, I conceded that we buy this design with an inscription engraved at the outer side of the ring and an engraving of one half of a heart for each ring between the inscription. If you combine the rings, it’ll form into the shape of a heart.
“Real Love”
The rings weren’t significant to me for they are just “dummies.” BUT I was wrong – totally wrong. For now, I felt like they are the most important rings we will ever wear. Why?
Going back to the “real love” phrase, I was just amazed when I remembered that this was the inscription engraved on the “dummy” rings. And what was even more amazing was that the revelation with the verse and my interchanging “perfect love” with “real love” was God’s way of reminding me of His promise to me and Brian – marriage. He wanted me to realize that this is real/perfect love – it drives out fear.
Fear.
Now it dawned on me. This was not about fears in my past, fears in my childhood days but fears that I was unaware I have been bringing in the relationship with my fiance. It was out of fear that we had the conflicts. It was out of fear of the punishments from the past mistakes. It was out of fear of so many things that eventually came to me fearing the worst that could happen in our relationship. It was fear that ruled the relationship.
And this was a portion of the article that made me see the clarity of it all:
God pulled us out of the relationship to protect us from our own fears and gave us hope instead. God wanted to teach us that that was not how He intended our relationship to be. Because fear did not come from Him. Reading the articles further just brought me once again in that state of utmost humility – being humbled by God’s presence through the revelations.
God’s presence.
This made me think about once again the idea of me waking up at around 3am and why the number 3 proved to be very significant to me like the day of my salvation which was 3/3/13 (which I shared in my previous articles) and was always included in His bigger revelations. Was it God? Did it come from an angel? I was still baffled and yet I know there’s an explanation somehow behind it. So I typed at Google search once again and checked out if there is somehow a biblical significance with the number 3 and the time. The following were the search results that turned up:
The 3 is always there – even my bookmarks came down to 3.
The Prophetic News
The Prophetic News
The Prophetic News
There really is something about names. Mine is Christine. 🙂
Spirit Daily
Spirit Daily
This was another big revelation. Although the moment I read that 3am is also the time where Satan is at work, came the terrifying fear that I might be possessed by a demon or vulnerable of being possessed. Because I admit I do experience some waking up moments at around 3am feeling a heavy feeling in my heart. But for the recent events, they were mostly uplifting and enlightening.
BUT I think my God went before me, for He knows I will seek for answers and He already assured me through the bible verse I have mentioned above. As the article mentioned, the Spirit commanded him to stand on His Word. Fear does not come from God. So most likely, Satan was also trying to butt in. But sorry, not sorry that I am already protected by my loving God. 🙂
I just felt the need to browse a little more and stumbled across a forum regarding the biblical significance of 3am. And one comment just struck me the most:
Yes, I believe it was and is all for a greater calling. A calling that involves a greater harvest. A calling that calls for a preparation towards a significant event. Our God is calling out.
And I believe in my church, our spiritual leaders have already prophesied this. For yesterday’s prayer, led by a sister in Christ who is also a spiritual leader, was all about fear. I really don’t believe in coincidence. 😉
So with that I rest my case, and I am just smiling even more as I type this. For it was one of my prayers to God to give me a bible verse during my wedding that is not the usual bible verse I encounter during Christian weddings such as:
1 John 4:19 ESV
“We love because He first loved us.”
So He gave me a different verse instead – a verse that will have a personal significance and impact not just to me, but a verse that will seal the commitment of what “real love” should be for both me and my fiance along with a symbol of that commitment – the “promise” rings.
It was not just a promise/reminder/covenant between me and my fiance to commit to each other until death do us part but most importantly, it symbolizes God’s beautiful promise for us both – God’s advance wedding gift to us. And this reminds me of The God Triangle:
Photo credit: thewerners.org
Now this is perfect/real love: love is God and God is love. So yes, basically, I just can’t help but thank my God every single day for literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. ❤
P.S.
My chosen bible verse for the wedding was not because I chose it but God chose it for me and it was the verse that came just before 1 John 4:19. So I believe it still is in the context of bible verses perfect for Christian weddings. 😉
Here’s a video about God restoring what was lost if we seek Him FIRST.
And here’s a text from him tonight, nothing can ever make me smile the sweetest except when I see the word “pray.” 😀
Our God is indeed a God who restores and redeems. 🙂
Most of the time it is during church service or a prayer meeting that I receive a revelation and most often, it is in my quiet time that I get to have a fuller understanding of that revelation. It could be a word, a song, a testimony or even a whole message which God wanted me to act on now.
During the prayer and fasting and even prior to it, I have heard one phrase which struck a cord in me, in my spiritual senses – a generational curse.
I must admit my knowledge and Godly wisdom on this topic is very limited. I believe God wanted to expound that knowledge by urging me to research about generational curses and be enlightened on what it really entails through articles and the Scripture. These are the articles I have stumbled across and I do encourage you to read them:
I do have an idea what it meant – it means a sin committed by ancestors that is now plaguing the current generation and maybe some of the generations to come. But I never really considered the gravity and the effect it could make if indeed a person is afflicted with a generational curse.
Not until I realized that I am one of those persons. It was during the prayer and fasting that I proclaimed I am free from the stronghold of the enemy. I just felt freedom at its best through the Cross. Something I felt when I had my altar call and when I went through the baptism of the Holy Spirit and my water baptism. It was only when I was reading all these articles on generational curses that I begin to understand why I had to attend all 3 prayer meetings during the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting and be able to completely stick to my plan to control addictions i.e. Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. and follow consistently the once-a-day meal type of fast. The Spirit has to be greater within me to pull me out from the stronghold of the enemy – which I may define now as a generational curse.
I didn’t realize I am under a generational curse of depression, paranoia, insecurities, anger, anxiety, fears and doubts. Yes, it runs in the family. There is a medical term for it and I already admitted it in my previous articles except that this time, I do not wish to name it as I consider myself free and cured from the curse now that I have been saved and received prayers from our spiritual leaders in casting out demonic Spirits that may have possessed us through the generational curses.
I believe a generational curse is what is plaguing most families especially those who do not claim Jesus to be their Savior. For it has been said in the articles that it is only by the blood of Jesus that you will be freed from the generational curses that have been handed down to you by your father, mother, grandmother, grandfather and forefathers. It is only Jesus who can clean your name and give you a new slate to start living a life free from this curse and alive in Christ.
Some of the generational curses could be vices, murder, rape, adultery, lying, robbery, basically any sin committed by an ancestor or it could be an illness, they can become a generational curse. I shared this revelation to my brother, one of my spiritual mentors, and he said, “Yes, we may be under a generational curse for how many generations now and yet our forefathers have prayed for us, the future generations, to be successful in not just dealing with them but in overcoming them through the Cross, through Jesus Christ, through repentance and salvation. Then there will also come generational blessings.” 🙂
I believe both me and him are dealing with generational curses that have been handed down to us which now are the cause of some conflicts we are having in our relationship. We both have generational curses to overcome through Jesus and I pray that in his salvation, he will declare himself free from the bondage of this generational curse through Jesus Christ.
I wouldn’t be this receptive though to learning all about generational curses and I wouldn’t be able to identify what is the generational curse that I was under if it wasn’t for the personal relationships around me. It is a difficult task which requires extreme patience, endurance, great character and perseverance to fight for faith at all costs. But I know my GOD is greater than anything in this world and I am claiming it through the mighty name of Jesus.
If you believe that you or someone you know may be under a generational curse, please pray with me the following prayer I have found in one of the articles I have read regarding generational curses:
“In the name of Jesus, I confess the sins and iniquities of my parents (name specific sins if known), grandparents (name specific sins if known), and all other ancestors. I declare that by the blood of Jesus, these sins have been forgiven and Satan and his demons can no longer use these sins as legal grounds in my life!
In the name of Jesus, and by the power of His blood, I now declare that all generational curses have been renounced, broken and severed, and that I am no longer under their bondage!
In the name of Jesus, I declare myself and my future generations loosed from any bondages passed down to me from my ancestors. AMEN!”
We also have spiritual mentors in church who are more than willing to help you in what you are going through. You may check out the websites in my advocacy and affiliation sections (left side) to know more about their contact details or you can contact me in my social media sites so I could connect you to a spiritual family.
Always keep the FAITH my dear brothers and sisters! ❤
“You have to remember when depression knocks at your door that you are among some of God’s choicest servants, like Elijah in the Old Testament and no less than the Apostle Paul in the New, who met depression on the field of battle and found an answer. They did and so can you. Yes, there is a solution to depression, whether it is discouragement, despondency or despair.” – Dr. Harold J. Sala
I could still remember the week prior to his engagement proposal.
Everything around us was chaos, conflict upon conflict, sin upon sin, piling up higher and higher. Then came the snapping point – our mediator, God, stood between us. He called for a time out before things get really rough and things get worse.
5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke our routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days it was all just God and me, God and him.
I thought of it as being in a detention room, only me and God and He was clearing the issues out personally, one by one – a reprimand, a rebuke, a renewal.
And yet God showed mercy by keeping His promise – an open communication between me and him. We obeyed His instructions, we valued what would honor Him. We met after a week and it was love all over.
The engagement proposal happened.
Things were doing well. Then planning came here and there. Preparations are everywhere, aligning of priorities were highlighted. Emotions started to build up, conflicts came again, sins erupted yet again, higher and higher once again.
Then came the saturation point – God once again stood at the middle as the mediator. God is again calling for a time out before things get worse, before ruining completely anything beautiful in the relationship.
5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke the routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days there was just me and God, him and God.
Once again, God has showed His mercy by keeping His promise – the communication was there, no one burned bridges.
On the night of the 5th day which was last Sunday, I reached out to him regarding a pressing concern in our business venture that I know he can only relate. He called, I answered. It was love all over again.
He wanted to see me but I can only suggest that we pray to God regarding that.
He said, “I love you so much…You do know how much I love you…”
I said, “Yes, I do love you so much too. But let’s take things one at a time for now – we need not rush anything. We need to trust God and put Him at the center. First.”
Now I understand. 🙂
God is faithful in His promises. The reason why He gives us a time out is because when conflicts seem to cloud almost the entire relationship and we become absorbed with the problems right in front of us, He would pull us out of the situation, away from further harm, so we could see the bigger picture.
He wanted us to see the good in the relationship even when things get really tough – by realigning our thoughts with His. He wanted to make things right and it can only happen when we surrender everything to His will. When things happen prematurely, God knows there will be pitfalls and storms and yet by His love and mercy, He gives the grace for us to bear it all and come out intact and whole.
My ex fiance once told me, “You cannot judge me and my faith because faith is a personal relationship with God – it is only between me and Him.”
Silence.
He was right.
For now I see that yes, God sees the intentions and conditions of our hearts and it is because of that that’s why He didn’t allow our circumstances to harden our hearts and protected us from destroying one another because of pride, bitterness and anger. He made us see the power of prayer, forgiveness and most especially, love. He allowed us to communicate still.
God kept His promise, the ongoing communication was our hope. It is now in our choice if we will claim that promise.
And yet I believe God does not just intend a week this time for us to master that peace, have complete healing and set things right through a Godly perspective. He will restore things when the perfect time has come and when we are both ready. Something that can only be achieved by trusting in Him completely day by day. 🙂
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT
I knew that I cannot sleep this day off without sharing what happened tonight. For I believe they are all part of God’s revelations.
But first, I’d like to praise God for blessing us with spiritual leaders who took the responsibility of making sure we were all led “home” – in spiritual victory. 🙂
Last night’s prayer meeting at Victory QC in Regis Katipunan, Bishop Manny Carlos said that there will be tangible assurances from the Lord of His presence during this Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting. And this article will be a testimony of that prophecy. For I claimed it and believed in it. 🙂
6pm is the time I lift my “cellphone off” ban and I prepare for our 7pm prayer meeting. Last night, hailing a cab going to church and my travel time were easy. But tonight, it was a challenge. I got out of the house and saw that heavy traffic started to build up in front of our house. I waited for 15 minutes but no cab was available. I haven’t eaten for the rest of the day and I thought, this might be the enemy trying to prevent me from attending the prayer meeting.
Unfortunately I am not just a warrior but a conqueror. For God trained us to be that, right? 😉
So I walked one block to get to an intersection hoping I will have more chances of hailing an empty cab but then again to no avail until I have decided to ride a tricycle going to a nearby mall. Taxi stands are everywhere there. When I got to the mall, oh boy, one taxi stand has a long line of passengers waiting. So I went to the other side of the mall where there are lesser passengers waiting. A lot of empty cabs stopped in front of me but when I told them where I am headed to, they declined.
I am on the verge of quitting out of desperation. But no, I am determined. For I would always keep in mind that the only time I will not be in church is when I am dying and I am physically incapable to move. Yes, never say never. And sometimes, just like in the movie God’s Not Dead wherein the two ministers are having a hard time finding the right car for their vacation, faith is all that God was asking.
So yes, I thought why should I worry, God is in control now. Let things be and keep calm. If it is His will for you to be there in church, He will take you there in His perfect time.
Finally, a cab passed by, passengers got off and one passenger waited until I got in before closing the door. I thanked him and I thought, “Father, this must be it.” I mean let’s admit it, there are only a few gentlemen who are willing to open doors for the ladies now. But I am praying God will change that. 😀
Anyway, I got inside the cab, told the driver I am headed to Katipunan, he said yes and finally I felt relieved. But then it was cut short – Xavierville Ave was in such heavy traffic I thought I will arrive when the prayer meeting is already over. But c’mon Tin, never say never. Never ever give up on God, keep your hopes up.
So there I was at the back seat trying to keep myself mentally afloat and physically present yet spiritually in control. Then came the first of the revelations. Something caught my eye from the passenger’s seat door near where I am seated. Wow, Father. Is this you? 😉
Brian Joseph Taxi
Of all names, of all taxis, of all times, of all dates, must I ride a cab that has a name exactly like that of my ex fiance except that you just have to interchange it – his full name is Joseph Brian Rome.
Now I sure did laugh. I am not sure if the taxi driver heard it but I took a photo of it for documentation purposes. Well, all I ever said was a prayer in my head that “Father, if this came from you, I already am relying on You COMPLETELY.”
I am letting go of the things that You wanted me to let go and yet if this is the assurance You are giving me that losing someone to God is never really a loss then again I can only and will only HOPE in YOU.
Okay, so there went my conversation with God. But then, came this music from the taxi’s radio. And guess what that song was? It’s our love theme song – All of You Loves All of Me by John Legend. So below is a short video clip I took with the cab’s name. I cannot capture it long enough lest the driver might be distracted by my phone’s camera flash.
And so I laughed again and silently said, “Oh c’mon now Father God, you know that I love you and I can ONLY love you for you are my EVERYTHING.” And seriously though I thought, if the enemy is playing with my thoughts then I’ll show him who God really is.
I was about to record another video but when I looked up, I happen to stare at one of the food cart franchises by The Filipino Dream (formerly Filtrepreneur Franchise, Inc.) that my ex bf and I ventured on – Kambal Pandesal from San Miguel Mills Incorporated. And I thought, okay, now this is getting serious. Because I really thought the business was going to fail and it is not God’s will for us but I still prayed for it. This was a sign that God is giving me hope and to just wait a little more. So I took a photo of it while we were on standby mode.
Kambal Pandesal by San Miguel Mills Incorporated
But then, here came another surprise. The song that followed John Legend’s song was One of Us by Joan Osborne. Are you familiar with the lyrics? If not, here is a sample and of course I took a video of it.
“If God had a name what would it be? And would you call it to his face? If you were faced with Him in all His glory What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great Yeah, yeah, God is good And yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the bus Tryin’ to make his way home?”
Whew! I am all smiles before I even get to the prayer meeting. Yes, I was 20 minutes late but I believe God intended I get stuck in traffic so I’d have time to observe things around me and appreciate that really, IT IS ALL ABOUT GOD. 🙂
So came the prayer meeting, we prayed for our campus missionaries and ministries and it was not a coincidence my prayer group that I randomly joined in happen to be ALL educators who are taking up their graduate study. Yes, exactly just like me. And we were praying for the students in the campuses. Yes, sometimes smiling because of these wonders around you is all that you can do. 😀
After the prayer meeting I waited and hailed a cab and when I got in, I checked my phone. 2 missed calls from my ex bf and a txt msg. I read the txt msg first and wow, this was what I read:
Praying for this business venture.
The business deal was successful, we were able to help a future business partner put up their own food cart business and I was blessed too on the other hand. Praise be to God! Now this, I must say, I am already proclaiming with my utmost entity that my God is indeed the everlasting, magnificent God who saves, protects, loves and provides. I still will continue praying though that by God’s leading and grace, this will be successful. I am committing to the Lord’s plans in this venture.
Oh Father, I want to shout your name aloud right now to praise and honor You for Your Glory. But it is a full moon, I won’t do it lest I might be accused of being a lunatic. In Your perfect time and place though. 😛
So I texted my ex fiance as he is my business partner – a reason for us to talk in a casual, friendly manner. But in case he asks me to take him back and start again, I am afraid my heart is not yet ready for it. I have forgiven him but the time is not yet right to re-commit with him. I am not closing my doors though. I am just happy things were going well this time now that I have decided to give my all to God and to Him alone. 🙂
When I was about to get off the cab, I looked at the cab’s fare counter and it was 78.90. I have no smaller bills so I thought I’d just give my 500-peso bill and ask for a 400-peso change. Yup, I usually round it off (sometimes a little too high) when I pay my fare. Sort of helping them too from the extra.
But this time, the cab driver told me he doesn’t have enough money for my change as he only has 300 pesos at the moment for he just started taking passengers tonight.
So there goes me rummaging my bag for smaller bills to pay the exact amount and was glad to find 70 pesos. But I am still 8.90 short. I told the driver, “Manong 70 pesos lang po ang barya ko. Okay lang po ba?”
He didn’t hesitate and just easily answered with an “Ay okay lang po ‘yan Ma’am.” And I just thanked Him and thanked God for meeting a good soul back there. 😉
Oh what a night of my second day of prayer and fasting. I will eat my first and last meal of the day and pray to God for more of Him tomorrow, last day of the prayer and fasting, before I hit the hay.
But one thing I can promise, if these were distractions (for tonight’s prayer meeting focused on discerning distractions), then definitely the enemy failed. For I have already made a re-commitment to my Lord and my Savior – way solid this time. I will continue praying that God will unveil my eyes from any deception and lies placed before me by the enemy and lead me towards the Truth.
Today marks the second day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.
Today is the day of resistance but more revelations from the Spirit.
The second day of the prayer and fasting usually is the hardest, for it is the middle ground of fighting for your spiritual hunger over your physical hunger and the testing point if you will make it to the 3rd and last day without giving in to temptations. Temptations are very hard to control at this point for our physical bodies are already going through bouts of hunger, weakness is affecting the mind, and self-control is hardest to attain. And yet, this is the point that your spirit is strengthened for you rely more on spiritual strength which is equivalent to letting God take control of your entire well-being through prayers of strength, deliverance, guidance and sustenance.
Any food that you see will be a temptation; missed calls from him last night will tempt you to call him back today and chances of reconciling are high; and the temptation to turn on your phone and logging in on Facebook may seem inescapable. And yet the Spirit asks to wait for God – it is not yet the right time. Endure if you must. Let the Spirit control your heart, which controls your mind and then your mind controls your body. If I may describe the feeling, it is breathing not for this world but for God.
After attending the prayer meeting last night, our Pastors and spiritual leaders prophesied that there will be tangible revelations and assurances from God for making the harvest. And today’s prayer and fasting devotion is about honoring parents which is exactly the incident that happened with my fiance’s Mom last weekend. It was one of the things I prayed for last night and I woke up today browsing my Our Daily Bread booklet which is just one of the devotional books I read consistently for my daily devotion aside from my daily bible app via You Version.
And I must say that our spiritual leaders are right. For when I opened the page where I stopped yesterday, I was surprised that what was written there was not the regular daily devotion I usually see with the current date and the corresponding bible verse. What I saw instead was a “special article” regarding this – THE FORGIVENESS OF GOD.
Special devotion: God’s Forgiveness
I continued to read the article and indeed, today is a big revelation. For now I know that guilt and shame have been leading my life just like David’s all because of my failures and it has been affecting all aspects of my life. I didn’t notice it until I have read this special write up. And it also cleared a misconception when it comes to forgiveness. Which made me remember about a bible verse I posted about Jesus saying to Peter to forgive not just 7 times but 77 times. A close friend of mine who is also a sister in Christ asked/commented on that bible verse saying, “Sis, what if no asking of forgiveness took place?”
I was struck with that question and made me thought that just forgive and forgive just as God has forgiven us. So I told her, just pray to God just like how Jesus prayed saying, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
That was the answer that I thought was right at that moment. And yet while reading this article on God’s forgiveness, it was reiterated here that there is no such thing as “unconditional forgiveness.” For even God required that we must first proclaim our sins before God and repent before we get baptized or receive salvation which is God’s way of forgiving us and cleansing us from our sins.
Forgiving unconditionally is not right.
Now this is a huge enlightenment on my part for it answers so many questions I have regarding my past relationship. I have always forgiven even if there was no acknowledgement that happened from the wrongs committed. Thus, a change of heart was not there. And yet only God can touch the hearts of those who needed His light – only God can awaken those feelings of guilt, despair and hopelessness which will result to acts of surrender, repentance and asking of forgiveness. As believers, it is our part to wait until those who hurt us come to a point of repentance then forgive when they ask us for it.
Prayers. What we need are more prayers for more people to come into the Light, be healed and saved.
For it was also shared last night that prayers are very powerful. I can attest to that. A prayer sincerely said will surely give answers that may or may not answer your questions or requests but it is through prayers that God gives His instructions for a task that He wanted us done.
I went on to read my devotion for the day and there was that smile of relief again. It is about “Bouncing Back.” I am indeed on the right track and this assures me more that what I did was what God wanted me to do and these are all His plans.
July 1 Devotion via Our Daily Bread
I just love how the “last-liner” of today’s devotion appealed to my spirit right now:
“Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.”
I often wondered, this truly is not a coincidence. For how can this special article on God’s Forgiveness happens to be of great importance at just the right time, the situations I’ve been in, the decisions I have made and falling in the middle of the 3-day prayer and fasting in church. The developers of Our Daily Bread are not affiliated with our church and yet all are unified on what points call for prayers at this time of the year.
And I believe these revelations not only satisfy today’s prayer requests but this is part of God’s grand plan in the coming days, weeks, months and years. It just amazes me that when God calls out to His people, may you be from another part of this world with a different cultural and social background, all tasks were delegated in serving one common mission and goal.
Many were hurt because of the past turn out of events for the last couple of days, months and years – may it be global, national or personal. The issues need not be complicated nor dissected – they all are one and the same. God is asking we forgive where forgiveness is due. For in doing so, we honor Him.
And I believe what God was asking is that through forgiveness we can all worship Him together and in perfect UNITY – a call to be ready when the perfect time comes to make the harvest. Many will bow down just like what Joseph, the dreamer, has dreamed of.
And only One ruler will rule and one Kingdom will reign – God and His Kingdom. 🙂
This is my biological Dad. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! 🙂
This post may be a tad late for the Father’s Day celebration, but I was led by the Spirit to write this now. And I believe this will testify to yet another living testimony of God’s grace and love that run throughout all the generations of this world and the generations to come.
I am confident that downloading the movie The Shawshank Redemption (1994) from my brother’s hard drive two days ago where I got this inspiring quote from is not a choice by chance.
“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice.” – Red, The Shawshank Redemption
This was followed by a leading to one article I read while browsing in my Facebook news feed entries yesterday entitled 10 Songs To Strengthen Your Marriage which was a breather after going through quite some rough challenges lately when it comes to relational issues. It then finally led me to reading about the author of the article and her favorite Christian movies, one of them is Letters To God (2010).
I was prodded to watch it as I haven’t seen it and after crying buckets of tears and silently praying to God in my heart since I totally can relate to every scene in the movie, I was prompted to write this article. This will be my first and most important Father’s Day greeting I have written in my 30 years of existence to our one and only beloved and Greatest Father of all, GOD.
They are all not a coincidence. God has a plan for everything and for each and every one of us. That, I am sure of. So here goes my simple letter.
Dear Father God,
You have seen my struggles and yet you have opened my eyes to see the struggles of others too. It is hard to love others through their imperfections while dealing with my own and yet You teach me how to love like how You loved us every single day. I can only express my utmost gratitude in this short letter of mine because despite of the pain, the tears and the heartbreaks, You made me see the beauty behind it all.
You have made me see the truth, the “whys” and the “hows” of the existence of this and that from the tangible to the not so tangible. Most importantly, You have showed me that living life without You is empty, pointless and meaningless. Through it all, it is only the Cross that You have taught me to see, to look up to and then have a different perspective of this world and the things around me.
As much as I pray for the salvation of those around me, I actually pray for the salvation of everyone in this world. The world needs Your healing, Father. It needs more of Your love which never falters day in and day out for as long as there is a single form of life in this world. The Heavens and the Earth are all Yours. You have showered us with this magnificence to reveal to us that indeed, no other person could ever bridge those two together except through Your Son Jesus Christ whom You have risen from the dead who then became our way towards eternity.
You can see each and every heart in this Earth, Father, and I pray that You would continue to open them hearts and shine Your light upon them. There is nothing I could pray far too deeply right now than to let it be known to Your people how much they are loved by You for we are your precious children. I will continue to sing praises and worship You, my Father, as Your daughter. And I will love you as my Father who is always there for me and always will be until the end of time.
All these I pray in the Mighty Name of Jesus,
Amen.
2 Corinthians 3:3
“Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.”
Far too often read and said in any faith-motivating speech or article. And yet I only got to take in the gist of it all now in this season.
God breaks our hearts open so we could become vulnerable. It is through our vulnerability that we become aware of our weaknesses. In our weaknesses we then become aware that we need a God who will help us overcome them weaknesses.
In this moment of vulnerability we are put in a crucial spot of choosing whether to let the enemy deceive us and win or choose God and be guided.
Oftentimes the enemy’s powerful weapon is deception and his perfect tool to accomplish it is your past. Sometimes your past will come again just before your eyes. And you have two things in your hand:
1. You let it destroy your present by feeling guilty and shameful once again.
OR.
2. You can choose to dismiss it because you are now free and forgiven – if you have been saved already.
I must say I was bordering number 1 to the point that my faith began to slacken. Fear overtook and then it just dawned on me that I haven’t attended church for a while now due to commitments, a busy schedule and a lot of intervening factors that I didn’t see them coming including the conflicts in my personal relationships that aggravated the disconnect in faith.
But God is faithful. He doesn’t give you something wherein that something will be of no good use to you. He sometimes uses them in circumstances that you least likely expect. I shared to my fiance the feeling of disconnection I have lately and that I feel I am not entitled to be in church anymore because my old self is coming back and he was also a witness of that. He has seen the kind of rage I used to have and the old bad habits overtaking me for the most part.
Yet it was him that I least expect to say that “the more that we have to go to church.” And I was shocked to hear it coming from him. Definitely not him whom I am urging to join a bible study group and a one to one discipleship so he would be born again but he declined saying it is not yet the perfect time. Not him whom I consider as not yet a devoted believer based on my own standards.
And yet again, God made me realize at that moment that my fiance is also my brother in Christ because he is His precious child too. It is not for me to judge why he has been given to me or whether he is the 1 or from the 99.
We went to church and once again I felt refreshed and renewed. But came more pressing issues, the wedding. Ideally, the engagement period should last for 6 months utmost according to the Marriage Preparation Seminar we attended in church. And this month is our 6th month as a couple. The temptation is getting strong but we cannot pull off a church wedding this year. Came another option – have a civil wedding.
But my constant question came out of fear – “Will I forever be unequally yoked?” There is no more turning back after the wedding – it is the real deal. They say that a husband/wife can make or break you. He wasn’t able to join a group in church whom he can consider as his spiritual family through his fellow brothers in Christ before we get married.
I was beginning to lose hope in connecting him with a spiritual family who would help him foster a deeper relationship with the Lord. Because I know I can never change Him and all God can through a spiritual family. It will never be enough that we attend church.
And while I was brooding over the options we have, asking God, praying to God, came a thought that never ever crossed my mind until now. When we get married, I will no longer be attending my bible study group with fellow single sisters in Christ but will be joining a couples’ bible study group. Chances are high that he will be attending it with me. Because he knows how vital it is for me to attend a bible study group and I plan to have it before our usual church service. And that answers my question.
There is still hope that he will be saved.
And having this in mind, I can only shout praises of honor and glory to Him. Indeed, my little, human mind will never ever grasp God’s bigger plans and what is to come. I can only wait when He instructs and reveals all in His perfect time. I asked him a couple days ago if he is interested to join a couple’s bible study group and he said, “yes.” And for now, what I can only do is continue praying that God will keep His beautiful promises for us both as a couple and that we may grow spiritually together along and through other fellow couples in Christ. 🙂
Indeed, the way that every person is saved is very different from the other. I was so clueless before and so focused on the problem that I never noticed God is showing me there is ALWAYS hope through Jesus Christ who is the way, the truth and the light. And now I understand too why when I had my bible study group for fellow single sisters in Christ, I have a co leader. She will be taking in charge of the group when the right time comes for me to leave the group. It will be heartbreaking but I am also praying I get to keep my fellowship with them even if I’m in a new season already.
I was in utmost humility as I suddenly remembered this verse all through this:
Matthew 8:26
” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then He got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.”
Indeed, I have so little faith and yet I am always and forever will be grateful God is faithful, He gives me PEACE, He provides me EVERYTHING and never fails in keeping His promises. His LOVE endures forever though I do not deserve it. It is time I grow my faith bigger in this season. I have read in Rick Warren’s book that we have to set aside our own personal agenda and focus on loving other people more not looking on who they were and who they are now but rather on who they can be.
I cannot tell for certain what I know is what will happen. For I cannot see the plans of God. And yet it is just comforting to know that God is and will be with me along the way. He just not give me signs and verses from the Scripture but importantly, I can feel that the Spirit is leading the way. I know that like how Jesus completed His mission, so too are we going to carry our own “cross.” And what I have shared may be what I have to carry for now. The following verses reminded me that:
Matthew 16:24 NLT
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”
Matthew 7:14 NLT
“But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.”
And an even GREATER reminder – OBEDIENCE:
1 Samuel 15:22 NLT
“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord : your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice?
Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”
I believe this is what God meant to be really free and forgiven. And I can only pray that I’d be successful in completing the mission of glorifying Him, making Him known until the time comes I can also say that “it is finished.” 🙂
The Journeyman's Moments 