How It Is To Live w/ Bipolar Disorder

Tin Ginete

HOPE

Yes. I think I have it.

Although I wasn’t diagnosed, I believe I have a Bipolar Disorder II with Hypomania. It is mild but it still is a medical condition. Here is a link re bipolar disorder to help you understand better: http://isites.harvard.edu/fs/docs/icb.topic449381.files/Adobe_Acrobat_Format/WLecture_10_-_Bipolar_Disorder.pdf.

The news re Robin Williams’ death saddened me and reminded me of what I went through battling depression. The reason I took Special Education now is for me to understand myself more. Because the moment you realized you are different than others, you will seek for ways to help yourself and you want to help others too who may be going through the same thing.

Most of you think I am naturally gifted with those “talents.” The truth is that they are skills I acquired to help me combat depression without the medications. Doing art, playing the guitar, photography, dancing, writing and all my other hobbies all helped me take my mind off those depressive thoughts – they sidetrack all feelings of anxiety, paranoia, and fear.

I attempted to commit suicide twice. The one suicide incident wherein I was almost successful doing it was in 2012 after a very stressful and violent breakup.

BUT it was also on that same year when I got SAVED. I was introduced to the faith on January 2012 and made my altar call during the Singles’ Getaway last September 2012. I created this blog on October 2012, which now became my “megaphone” for my faith and my spiritual journey.

If I have been vocal about my faith in all social networking sites, it is not because I seek for attention nor for popularity but because I intend to share the FAITH that saved me from committing the greatest sin that one could ever do while alive. And I also hope to encourage those who are on the verge of losing hope as well to not give up.

Cry your heart out. Belt it out. Drop down on your knees, repent, pray aloud, cry His Name aloud, seek for His Grace BUT NEVER GIVE UP.

Because God did not give up on you and me. He sent His son Jesus Christ into this world to suffer the pain for us, to save us from our sins – to give us HOPE.

NO ONE and NOTHING else can save you from what you are going through EXCEPT our GOD. The moment you surrender your life to Him, you will feel His presence in your every breathing moment. You will feel the Holy Spirit in you. God will give you opportunities to create a new life and a chance to redeem yourself.

God used the skills I acquired and my circumstances to make me better and stronger so I can serve Him, serve others, and spread the Good News. God surrounded me with people who helped in bringing me closer to Him, and who will remind me of Him every now and then. Because of God, I don’t look back to my past with pain and regret. I see my past as God opening the doors to a new life – spiritually restored and healed.

Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. There is no cure. But there are ways to manage it if you don’t want to take any medications. Although this has to be decided upon the assessment of a medical professional. Seek help if it is too much to bear. I sought help from my spiritual family, and I always have this Bible verse to remind me every time I have those depressive episodes. This Bible verse is what gives my life purpose and meaning:

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” – John 15:4

If it wasn’t for my faith, I’ve long been gone. This testimony will speak how it really means to be BORN AGAIN through the Cross and through God’s love. ❤️🙏

“For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” – Ephesians 2:8

Instrument

When I was saved, the next thing I prayed to God was  for Him to use me as an instrument to reach out to the people who are “lost” and let them know about Jesus Christ. Little did I know and neither did I really understand what being an “instrument” meant back then. Until came that time when I was given the actualities on what it really feels and what is it really like to be used as an instrument.

I have learned two things when God used me: sacrifices and humility. Exactly how God sent Jesus Christ as the way for us to be saved. To follow Christ is to accept Him first as your Savior and be Christlike. It meant going through sacrifices and having humility. I didn’t understand at that time why I had to go through the same things I went through before when I am already a Christian now, pure and devoted. Trials after trials came. Setback after setback. I got corrupted again but I held on to my faith. I noticed that the more I become bolder with my faith and in my devotion, the enemy strikes even harder and more painful this time.

But, what the enemy didn’t know that for every hardest blow I take, I come out unscathed. For every failure, I come back up twice as high as I fell. I have wounds, but I am made whole again. For I have a God who heals, who restores and redeems. 🙂

“Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” – Psalm 55:22

Sacrifices played a crucial role being an instrument in spreading the Word of God. It meant persecution, corruption at one point and eventually reaffirmation of faith. To sacrifice is to bleed, to lay open your wounds, to submit every part of your being for the good of one or many.

To be able to endure sacrifices is humility at its best. You are subdued to the lowest point of your weaknesses leaving them raw and open and yet this is what gives you the opportunity to trust God and have faith in Him wholly, with no reservations and with utmost sincerity.

Indeed, when you reach out to the “lost,” how would you help them when you don’t know what they really are going through? How can you sympathize with them when you don’t know the pain they feel, the sorrow they go through, and the struggles they face in every aspect of their lives? I had to experience them too. And when I went through all that, I already know how to deal with them, I know what to do when I make this mistake, I already know who and where to turn to. And that is what they needed to hear, that is what they needed to learn and that is why God gave me the task.

Testimonies are always the best examples of salvation and ultimately, of God’s love through the Cross. They are the best motivators for a changed life, so to speak. I was subverted back to who I was because God is assured that I can never be led astray this time. Though I have to make the sacrifices, He knows I will be going back to Him, seeking and reaching Him out all the more. Then, share the Word and the meaning of the Cross.

Yes, being an instrument is a two-way learning process. I, too, was learning. I, too, feel the pain. I, too, feel the struggle – with them who are “lost.” But the only difference, I had a steadfast faith and I know the meaning of the Cross. I always go back to God, I always think about the Grace. I “report” what I did, I repent if I made mistakes along the way, I submit to His will and then I accept what needs to be done  next through prayers for continued guidance from our Father.

“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” – Galatians 5:6

At the end of it all, I ask myself: “Why do that, Tin? Why ask God to give you the task of being an instrument in letting people know about Him? Why let yourself go through all the pain and the sacrifices?”

At first, I don’t know the answer. But God gave the answer: it was LOVE. He loves us so much that is why He sent His son Jesus Christ to save us from our sins. I love my God and Jesus Christ so much for this GRACE, I love the people around me too much I want them to be saved too. It was all for LOVE that I will endure the sacrifices, that I will accept humility. For I know too that this LOVE that saved me will be the LOVE that will save them all too.

This was the love that I used to sarcastically joke about. The love that I used to amusingly take for granted. The love that I have no regard at all. And yet, it was because of this LOVE that I survived in this world.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his LOVE into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

– Romans 5: 1-5

Before I end this article, I would like to share this verse as a reminder so as to not fall into the trap that the enemy has set out for us in order to cut in on our RACE towards GRACE:

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

– Galatians 5: 19-21

Forgive yourself, no one is condemning you. But continue to do what is good, what is right and what is pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. So my dear brothers and sisters, I pray that may we all work together towards having this through Jesus Christ our Savior – LIFE IN ETERNITY and continue the good fight of faith, no matter what it takes. 🙂

 

Grace

Victory's Proof Series

Victory’s Proof Series

Just because we have a God who listens and a God who provides. 🙂