Protect The Soft Ones

Posted on February 13, 2026 by Christine Lailani

I thought I was already done with an article on mental health, but it looks like God is asking me to write more. The topic is no longer uncomfortable for me because the incident of attempted suicide happened a very long time ago.

And journaling about it helped me process the negative experience, which paved the way for my healing. The problems that I am going through now are also different compared to what I went through before. And being a born-again Christian now, I think, mattered greatly in how I view and deal with mental health issues as they come.

In fact, I no longer cry every time I recount the turning point of my becoming a born-again Christian. Um, no, I think I shed a tear or 2. Or maybe 4? Wait, I think, it’s 7. But it’s definitely less than 10 tears. lol 😀

Seriously though, I do take note of my crying sessions as part of my emotion regulation strategies. If the crying sessions don’t stop after 15 minutes, that means I need to do something productive that doesn’t involve too many emotions.

It has to be something that will keep my mind preoccupied. Let’s say solving a puzzle or playing an online game. Anything that taps the logical part of my brain.

I do agree with what some people say that your professional job can be a way for you to temporarily shift your focus from your sorrow or pain. Well, given that it’s not the source of your sorrow and pain. 😀

Kidding aside, we have to love our jobs because God gave them to us as a means to provide for us and our families’ needs. God often uses our jobs as a channel of blessings to other people, too. ❤

Being In Tune With Your Emotions

Emotion regulation is a challenging skill to learn. It will take a lot of time and requires discipline, self-control, patience, and different coping mechanisms to master it, especially in some cases where childhood verbal abuse was present.

Let’s say you are in the middle of a conversation, and you want to snap because somebody said something harsh to you, and in your head, you’re like, “That was rude. That comment was uncalled for. Where did that sarcastic insult come from?”

So then you start feeling irritable and angry, but emotion regulation will say, “Switch those two buttons off, pause, take a deep breath, excuse yourself from the conversation quickly, come back when you’re calmer, or just let it slide. God heard it, anyway.”

If you hear these sarcastic and rude comments often, my suggestion is to lessen your interaction with that person. Avoid situations you know will lead to a heated verbal exchange. There is always a polite way of saying “no.”

And actually, people can’t force you to stay if you leave. Their behavior is always beyond your control, and your peace of mind matters more. It is my prayer that you will be able to discern when a relationship is becoming abusive.

If these instances should persist for months to years and nothing seems to change, please seek God’s guidance if the best resort is to leave for the time being. Then, have faith and leave the changing to God. That is how we set boundaries. Although yes, this is always easier said than done.

The Bible also has something to say about emotion regulation:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25

There are actually a lot more Bible verses about controlling the tongue and managing anger, which I also mentioned in the article before this. While it is God’s mandate to love our enemies, God also taught us to be discerning enough to know when a situation becomes too destructive for us that it will tempt us to commit a sin.

This is why prayer is very important. Because when we are in spiritual warfare, we need to pray and ask God through Jesus’ Name to equip us with everything that we need to win the war.

And no, fighting head-on with the enemy (confronting) won’t give you a good ending. It rarely does. In fact, it’s the other way around, and I have learned this the hard way.

But I have learned to forgive myself and forgive others. And day by day, I continue to seek God’s help to mold me, change me, and teach me what I need to learn so that when I encounter a similar situation in the future, I will respond better.

Sharing A Testimony And Being A Witness For Christ

Going back to dealing with mental health issues, the challenge really is not about remembering a bad memory. But being vulnerable enough to share my weaknesses here for the entire world to see, holding on to Scripture:

[Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”] – 2 Corinthians 12:9

And I also want to allow fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to test the spirit from which my articles are coming. Please rebuke me if necessary because, as I’ve mentioned in my previous articles, I am no theologian, and I do not have the proper training. All I was tasked to do was to share my testimony and my personal spiritual journey, and how I view God as a believer.

As it is written,

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this, you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already.

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore, they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this, we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.” – 1 John 4:1-6

I Call On God’s Mercy And Protection Over The Soft Ones

After another incident yesterday of the suicide of yet another young person (and another report, as of writing, of a student from a university in Manila who allegedly fell), I felt like I had to continue writing this article. This has been sitting in my drafts since last year. And it looked like it was meant to be written and posted this year.

I would like to cover the family with prayers of comfort and peace in this time of extreme sadness and grief…May God’s saving grace be upon them as they heal from this heartbreaking moment…My heart grieves with them…I pray that no spirit of condemnation be upon the family of the bereaved, and I am praying for the eternal rest of their child’s soul…<3

I don’t want to go into details about how I failed in my two suicide attempts before I became a born-again Christian. But there was one instance that I remembered, trying to think about how my parents would react. They were not perfect, and I can also list a couple of things where they failed as parents. I just felt they don’t deserve to experience something as tragic as this.

I read this statement in one article written by a pastor (not verbatim) to put it lightly: “If you are desperately longing to be with God, this is not a good way to meet Him.”

And yet I was also reminded that we don’t see the struggles of every person on this planet. Depression, for one, is a silent killer. It really doesn’t have a face. Some people are so good at masking it that you won’t notice the depth of heaviness they carry every single day. And nobody is exempt from it; even pastors and priests fall victim to it.

Because the enemy chooses NO ONE in particular, it chooses ANY ONE.

And this is the war that I have talked about in my previous articles. This is the battle that we are going to face now, and some people are already fighting it, me included. And this is why I entitled this article, “Protect The Soft Ones.”

I chose to use the word “soft” instead of “weak.” I think those who took their own lives were actually not weak. Because taking a life is murder, no matter who did it or to whom, even if it’s your own.

You may be emotionally soft, but you will need physical strength to be able take your own life. Otherwise, you will fail. Just like what happened to me. Because I am emotionally soft, but I am also physically weak, that is why I failed. And yet it is in my weakness that God met me. ❤

I Chose Life Through Jesus Christ

Whew, Lord, February pa lang, ang bibigat na ng pinapasulat mo sa akin. Pwede bang magsulat tungkol naman sa kung paano naiinlab ang mga langgam? Kasi lagi sila dinadamay sa mga sweet memes, Balentayms pa man din bukas.

Ah yes, “Laughter is the best medicine,” as they say. In fact, the Bible said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” – Proverbs 17:22

If you’re wondering why I get to talk about death and dying in a somewhat casual manner, it is not because I am taking it lightly, because I shouldn’t. But it’s because I came close to death that I am now no longer afraid of it, PLUS (and a very big plus), combined with Jesus, the Cross, salvation, and life in eternity, no, I think we don’t have to be afraid of death.

AND YET, I still firmly believe in promoting life – CHOOSE LIFE, LOVE LIFE.

Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10

God has given us life for a very good purpose. If I succumbed to suicide 13 years ago, then most likely I wouldn’t be able to meet my spiritual family, I wouldn’t be able to write my testimony and the saving grace of God, this blog wouldn’t have existed, and I wouldn’t have met the beautiful community of WordPress. ❤

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

I always hold on to this phrase when things don’t work out the way I expected them to, not because God answered all my prayers and solved all my problems before. But there’s always His assurance that it is only a season.

Before I continue to the mental health part, I would like to offer a short prayer first. Words have the power to start a war or calm a crowd. It either heals or it wounds. I am praying mine will be able to uplift spirits and not condemn.

Please pray with me:

Dear Lord,

We ask for your divine leading on how we are going to discuss this topic. May it not lead to desperation but instead offer a renewed sense of hope. May it bring assurances as much as it brings tears of freedom because all burdens were lifted.

Please open our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits as we receive Your wisdom in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.

Why Mental Health Matters

I was recently doing a little bit of research on mental health because of something that my family and I just went through that brought back sad memories. And after 30 minutes of research, I was prompted to stop because I already got what I needed. It looks like the Spirit reminded me about not allowing the negative energy from what I read become the portal for whatever evil that almost was successful in making me do the unthinkable.

My search brought me though to ponder on thought-provoking questions such as:

“Where do people who died by suicide go?”

“Do believers go to heaven even if they commit suicide, such as the priests and pastors who took their own lives?”

“Do we go straight to heaven after we die?”

“Do we get new bodies in the Second Coming?”

“What kind of judgment happens during Judgment Day if, after dying, we are already judged as to who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?”

While I have found the answers to these questions, I felt like I was in no position to write them here. My recommendation would be to reach out to your church leaders, pastors, and priests to expound answers to these questions, as God equipped them in times like these. Most of our churches have emails and contact numbers, where you can send in your questions if you want to be anonymous.

Meanwhile, aside from connecting to a spiritual family and prayers, I would like to share a couple of practical tips on how to deal with mental health issues at home. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting style, yet the Bible offers some reminders on how to rear children. I pray that every parent will be guided by the Spirit in raising children because it is also a calling.

How To Win Your Child To Christ

“Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4

I know I am in no position to share about parenthood because I have never been a parent. Well, Paul shared about love and relationships when he was actually single. 😀

My parents have a different way of raising us, too. But as I grew up, I have also learned to adopt a new parenting style should it be God’s calling for me to raise kids. Here are some of them:

1. Have Those Hard and Difficult Conversations

As parents, it is always best to become the mediator during arguments and conflicts. And only saying “that is enough” and letting them boil their anger down, and giving space and time to forget the conflict has happened, will never make the problem go away.

It’s best to follow it through by allowing both parties to talk about their grievances, and remind each child if one is shouting or the other is blaming. Come up with a list of solutions that are favorable for both sides. Make them agree with it and commit to it. List down the consequences if they won’t be able to stay consistent in keeping their promise. This is to establish accountability.

And when your child finally opens up, do not dismiss what they feel nor downplay their emotions. They need to be seen and heard, and this is very important. Let’s practice the attitude of listening with the intent of understanding, and when I say “understanding,” it should be less about our standpoint and more about where our child is coming from.

If the issue is affecting them big time, you might have to break some of the previous rules you have in place and approach from a place of love and understanding instead. I have seen families who went through the most heartbreaking tragedies, but they remained intact. I know love is a main driver of it.

2. Keep Dinner Table Conversations Light

Do you want to be grilled while you are eating your favorite pasta? I think the cheese will love it. But a person won’t. 😀 I believe we should digress from asking the usual questions, such as “How was school or work today?” and replace them instead with “Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? My ears are open for suggestions.”

Try to notice your child’s behavior if something is off, and you can attempt having a conversation with them in private, like, “Sweetheart, I noticed something is bothering you. If you want to talk about it, I want to let you know that I am here to listen, okay?” When your child is going through something, be a friend first, a parent second.

I know some parents don’t want to do this because they are afraid their children will not respect their authority afterward. But I believe that this is when your child will need you most, so it is critical to create a safe environment where they will not be criticized and reprimanded for being honest.

3. Establish Boundaries

Each of your child will have their own personalities. There are the confident ones. Then there are the shy ones. You have the joker. You have the genius. Each of them will have their own temperament. And each one will develop their own interests and influences. They will also have their own group of friends.

Boundaries will make sure that the family respects each member’s individuality. And yet, parents have the responsibility to teach their children about their identity in Jesus Christ and raise them according to Scripture.

Please, please, please avoid comparing them and avoid pitting them against one another. That is the easiest way to destroy your family. We do not destroy our families; we build them carefully and lovingly.

When a family member needs space, give it. If one family member prefers to be away from home for some time (if they are above 18 AND if they can support themselves by working part-time or being a scholar), give them that request if, after praying, God instructs you that it is really necessary.

But make sure to still check up on them every now and then. Leave it to God to do the protecting when anxiety tells you what if something bad happens to my kid while he/she is away.

4. Pray Heartfelt Prayers (Not Generic Ones)

We’ve all had those prayers when we were kids. Pretty understandable. But as kids grow older, we can slowly teach them about the art of praying. Most likely, they would want to know how to start a prayer, how to end it, what to include in their prayers, or how long or short it has to be.

If we want to amp their praying habit a little higher, or when they become young adults, we can show them how to pray for others, too. This way, it’ll be natural for them when one of their siblings needs prayers as they enter adulthood and have their own families already.

5. Offer Apologies

I really admire parents when I see them stopping a fight between their two children, wherein the parent will ask one child what his problem was, and then switch to asking the other child what is it that angered him, come up with a quick solution, and then ask them to apologize and hug after.

This scene always warms my heart. And at the same time, I also pray that when these kids grow up, they’ll still apply the same conflict resolution strategy even if their parents are no longer around. By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about apologies and forgiveness. Here are some of them:

“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” – Mark 11:25

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

Bottomline, it will always be a case-by-case basis. I pray that God will give every parent the wisdom to do His will as far as raising children is concerned.

How To Win Your Parents To Christ

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

I know the feeling of being a rebellious teen. I was one. I know the feeling of doing bad things just to offend my parents. It was a painful learning experience, but by God’s grace, it brought me to where I am now.

It taught me that no matter how bad you felt, you only have one biological family. If you are still under your parents’ care, meaning you still live with them and they provide all your needs, it is only honorable that you obey them.

No family is perfect. However, if they are the reason for your brokenness; forgive because they, too, need God’s saving grace. God is also working in them. If you need to be away from them because that is the best way for you to heal, you can still love them from a distance.

From my experience, I actually couldn’t remember exactly how my Mom talked to me again after not speaking with me for 2 years. I would come here at home, and she would give me the silent treatment as if I did not exist. I did not force her to talk to me; I just waited. Until an opportunity came wherein we were on speaking terms again.

By the way, just for context, it was my Mom who provided the funds for my graduate study, which is why her anger was valid. Though we had an agreement that once I get a job again, I will pay her back. I wasn’t able to pay her back, but I made it my responsibility to help take care of her when she was hospitalized for 2 months due to stage 4 breast cancer.

Mom wanted me to finish my graduate study asap. Unfortunately, after talking to my thesis adviser, I would have to forego getting married, getting a job, and attending to my husband’s needs if I want to finish it, as it will require I put my 100% focus on my graduate study.

I also had a realization that Special Education is not for me, so I pursued a writing career instead. By the way, only 3 graduated from our batch (there were 15 of us, if I remember it right) – it wasn’t easy. You had to make a lot of sacrifices, especially during the thesis part (individual and not group work), sacrifices that I couldn’t make at that time.

And I am very grateful for that experience, no matter how difficult. Why? It deepened the bond that I had with my Mom. We are not the type who share our personal problems with our parents. Most especially when it comes to relationships. But after the incident, I felt like the barrier was broken down, and I could share anything with my Mom.

And the timing was perfect because when I went through very rough seasons in my marriage, it was my Mom who became my number one confidante. I would call her and text her very long messages explaining what happened, and she always gives me answers and advice that give me peace and strength to move forward.

And during one incident, I was able to hear my Mom mention her having a personal relationship with Jesus, and acknowledge her need for prayers. That, to me, was the best Earthly reward for persevering even when I felt like ending my relationship with my Mom once and for all. Hearing her say that she has Jesus in her life is everything to me, and that is the only thing that matters, actually.

That’s why when my Mom passed away in 2023, even though it was very painful as it was the first death in my family, my heart was at peace because I know where she is now. To all the children out there, love your parents, and never cease praying for them.

Nothing is too broken for God. When He says that He will fix it, He will fix it. God is always working. ❤

A Prayer of Deliverance

My family and I may have our own rifts now, and I know we will go through a lot more in the future, but I have faith in God that we will overcome every single one of them by God’s grace. We always do as long as we keep God at the center of our relationships.

In the same way that God loved the church so much, I have the same love for my loved ones, and nothing can change that. I hope you cling to this hope, too, that every pain shall pass.

And even if they don’t go away right away, those many years that you have waited without seeing any results or receiving answers from your prayers, know and believe that God has already worked on so many things that it’s a definite that you won’t stay in the same situation for the rest of your life.

Again, God is good all the time. He is always in control. He is always working. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). And He is never late nor early, He will give you what you need at the right time.

So, press on and move forward. Keep moving forward, even if you have to drag yourself to get to the finish line. God is with you always. Seek professional help when necessary, and as they say, surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Don’t forget the story about the footprints in the sand. When you are too weak to walk, God will lift you up and carry you, so you don’t have to walk alone. Even if you don’t know how to pray because you are just too overwhelmed, just cry out loud, “Lord, please help me.”

That is all that I ever said, that is why I am still alive now, and that is all that I will ever say, every time I am in deep waters. God rescues those who call out His name, He never fails.

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.” – Romans 10:13

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” – Romans 8:38

“We love because God first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

To end this article, please join me in covering our families with this prayer:

Dear Father,

You are the only One who knows the condition of our hearts. You see everything, You hear everything, nothing is ever hidden from You. We lift up to You every single member of our family. May You watch over each and every one of us as we go through different seasons in our lives.

Please send Your angels to guard over our homes, and even in places that we have to be. May every family stay united in defeating every enemy who will attempt to steal, kill, and destroy every beautiful promise that You have for us.

I cast out any demonic spirits that are attacking every home right now. Please shield our homes with Your mighty power as we continue to remain steadfast in our fight against evil.

I declare healing. I declare deliverance from the stronghold of the enemy. I declare peace. I declare hope. I declare joy. And most importantly, I declare love to be upon Your precious children.

May Your light shine in and through us, that we may continue to do the work that You have set for us to do. Help us, Lord, to finish this race victoriously, carrying our own crosses and Your banner high, loud and proud.

This we pray in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.

P.S. The name Amos keeps on popping up everywhere lately, I think the Spirit is leading us to read the book of Amos. 🙂

An Easter Like No Other

Posted on March 31, 2024 by Christine Lailani

This year’s Holy Week reflection was nothing I have ever experienced and done before. It was a moment of deep contemplation and fervent prayers. 🙏

It was also a week of immense joy, but insurmountable sadness. I am so happy that my husband passed the nursing licensure exam in the country where he applied to work as a nurse, but I am also sad that this also means my husband and I are separating.

The decision wasn’t easy. This is one of those moments in your life wherein you can’t sleep at night and your stomach churns every time you think about it. And yet you know that there is no other easy way to go about it but to go through it courageously, mustering all the strength you’ve got.

I am overjoyed that my husband finally gets to fulfill his dream of working abroad. God answered my husband’s prayer, and I am just completely in awe having witnessed how God orchestrated things in a manner that I can attest to as something sort of a miracle.

My husband and I are both at peace with our decision, and I only have 2 requests from him if he plans to come back to me. First, he should be a born-again Christian (went through an altar call, water baptism, baptism of the Holy Spirit, and connected to a Bible study group) in Victory church. And second, he must be ready to stay with me in my hometown for good. And starting today, these are going to be non-negotiables for me.

Even if this happens how many decades from now, I will gladly take him back. But if not, then I trust God that He has other better plans for me and my husband. We will keep the communication lines open, but what I can only offer to my husband now is friendship as a sister in Christ unless he’s able to satisfy both of the requests I mentioned above. I have my own valid reasons for asking these requests, which I will no longer explain further.

I was actually having second thoughts if I should still share this here because it is too personal. But after praying to God about it, His instruction was to share it since it is a major part of my life’s journey. Thus, it’s also a part of this blog’s journey where I testify about God’s saving grace and faithfulness in every season of my life.

Again, my husband and I are both at peace though the acceptance didn’t come right away. We both struggled and haggled – God saw the pain. But, I am grateful that God still gave us both an opportunity to settle everything peacefully. He has prepared greater things for me and my husband to conquer and accomplish, albeit separately. On my end, I have a lot of pending tasks and opportunities to explore when I get back home – advocacies, farm projects, graduate study, and other work opportunities, just to name a few.

I can’t think of any other goodbye that’s better than this. And yet it is also that kind of goodbye that still remains hopeful for the things to come. I accept all of these as part of God’s sanctification for us to grow spiritually because my husband and I are still both a work in progress. It isn’t a coincidence that this took place during Holy Week 2024.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you (us), will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” – Philippians 1:6

Easter Sunday now has an even deeper meaning to me. The message of the Cross and Christ’s resurrection has never been more accurate and appropriate to what my husband and I are going through right now – sacrifice, freedom, transformation, new beginnings, and lastly, hope.

It is a testament to God’s profound love for the church that He is willing to sacrifice His own Son on the Cross so He can show that no power here on Earth, not even death, can separate us from the love of God. So in the end, we can all confidently say what Jesus said on the Cross, “Father, if You are willing, take this cup of suffering from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22: 42-44).

And so Christ has risen. And so shall we. 🙏♥️

“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

“We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in You.” – Psalm 33:20-22

Reconciliation Is Earned

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Christine Lailani

This is the greatest lesson I’ve learned, so far. Thanks be to God for finding every opportunity to teach me this because I tend to be too stubborn sometimes. 😉 I got the message now, Lord, and I am obeying. 🙏

We are just too blessed to have a God who just never, ever gives up on us and will do everything so we won’t be completely destroyed. That is how much He loves us and how precious we are to Him. ❤️

*Lifted from my OUR DAILY BREAD devotional app.* 🙏

Paano Ba Ang Tamang Pagpapatawad? | Relationship Goals

Posted on April 5, 2019 by Christine Lailani

To my non-Filipino readers, I wrote this article in the vernacular because I felt the message will go through much better in this medium. But you may use the Google translate button below or at the sidebar of this page. I just hope Google will do a fine job of translating it. *wink*

“Paano Ba Ang Tamang Pagpapatawad?”

Noong nakaraang buwan, may isa akong status update na ni-post sa Facebook. Ito ay tungkol sa kasong adultery at concubinage. Hindi namin pinagdaanan ito ng asawa ko kaya sa mga nagtataka bakit nga ba bigla lang akong nag-post tungkol doon, wala akong ibang maisagot kundi dahil sa naramdaman ko lamang na kailangan ko syang i-post.

Infidelity: Kasong Concubinage at Adultery

Ang infidelity o pagkakaroon ng kabit o karelasyong babae/lalaki maliban sa iyong asawa ay isang sensitibong usapan pagdating sa ating lipunan. Madalas natin itong napapanood sa mga pelikulang Pinoy at teleserye. Ngunit sa totoong sitwasyon, ito ay itinuturing bilang isang kahihiyan. Kaya hindi nakapagtataka kung bakit maraming mga biktima ang piniling manahimik na lamang at indahin ang sakit at mga pasakit na dulot nito.

Ito ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit naisipan kong i-post ang tungkol sa adultery at concubinage case. Dahil nakita ko ang dalamhati nila, ang sakit na dinaranas bawat araw, at kanilang mga sakripisyo sa pamamagitan ng pagiging matatag sa kabila ng lahat alang-alang sa kanilang mga anak at ikatatahimik ng lahat.

Ang iba naman ay nagpaubaya na lamang dahil hindi sapat ang kanilang impormasyon tungkol sa infidelity at sa mga batas na nangangalaga sa mga karapatan ng isang asawa. Kahit saang bansa sagrado ang tingin ng batas at ng lipunan sa isang kasal o pagsasama ng isang mag-asawa.

Ang adultery case ay iba sa concubinage case. Ang una ay kaso ng isang asawang lalaki laban sa kanyang asawang babae at ang kabit nito. Ang huli ay kaso ng isang babaeng asawa laban sa kanyang asawang lalaki at ang kabit nito.

Para sa karagdagang kaalaman tungkol dito, maaari ninyong basahin itong artikulo:

“A Brief Discussion on Infidelity, Concubinage, Adultery, and Bigamy”

Hindi ko inakala na maraming kababaihan ang dumaraan sa ganitong mahirap na sitwasyon ngayon at walang alam kung paano ito resolbahan. Nakita ko ang mga komento ng iba’t-ibang kababaihan na naglahad ng kanilang mga kanya-kanyang sitwasyon. Hindi ko rin napaghandaan na ganito ang magiging kalalabasan ng post na iyon na ni-share ng mga kaibigan at ng mga kaibigan nila.

Ngunit ipinanalangin ko sa Panginoon na gabayan Nya ako kung paano makakatulong sa aking mga kapatid na kinakaharap ang ganitong masalimuot na sitwasyon. Ang itinuro sa akin ng Dios ay ang website ng Public Attorneys Office at ang mga numero kung paano ito kontakin. Ito ang kasagutang aking naibigay dahil hindi ko masasagot ang mga katanungan nila at hindi naman ako abogado.

Ano Ang Iyong Gagawin Bilang Isang Kristyano?

Marahil sa puntong iyon ng pag-post ko, marami sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagtaka lalo na sa konteksto ng pagiging isa kong Kristyano. Dahil ang utos sa Bibliya ay magpatawad at huwag maghiganti sa isang maling gawain na ginawa saiyo.

Mga minamahal, huwag kayong maghihiganti; ipaubaya ninyo iyon sa Dios. Sapagkat nasusulat, “Akin ang paghihiganti, ako ang gaganti,” sabi ni Panginoon. – Mga Taga-Roma 12:19

Ngunit ayon din naman sa aking pananaliksik, ang pagpapatawad daw ay laging may kaakibat na kondisyon. Dahil ganoon din ang hiningi ng Dios sa atin kapalit ng ating pagkakaligtas – tanggapin si Hesus bilang iyong tagapagligtas at talikuran ang masamang nakaraan. Pero meron din namang nagsasabi na sa anumang uri ng pagkakamali, palaging maging handa magpatawad.

Naisip ko na may rason ang Dios bakit Nya pinagawa ang sampung kautusan kay Moses noon na ‘yun ang naging basehan ng ating mga batas upang mapanatili ang katahimikan sa lipunan ngayon. Lahat ng ito ay naglalayon na mapangalagaan ang karapatan ng bawat isa sa ating mga mamamayan at mamuhay kasama ang iba ng tahimik at may respeto sa kapwa.

Sa usapang infidelity, and katanungan ng karamihan ay paano ba magpatawad at nararapat bang kasuhan ang iyong nagkasalang asawa? O patawarin ko na sya kaagad at ibaon ang lahat sa limot?

Kung walang nangyaring paghingi ng kapatawaran, para sa akin, mas pipiliin ko pa ring magpatawad. At sa ilang beses na naging bigo sa pagtupad ng kanyang pangako ang iyong asawa ngunit patuloy pa rin na gumagawa ng kasamaan at patuloy ding humihingi ng iyong kapatawaran, mas nakakabuting hingin mo ang payo ng Dios sa kung ano ang nararapat gawin.

Nakasaad sa Bibliya na ang adultery/concubinage ay isang sapat na rason para iwan mo ang iyong asawa. Ngunit nakasaad din dito na ang tunay na pagmamahal ay handang magpatawad sa lahat ng oras, sa anumang pagkakamali, at hindi basta-basta sumusuko.

Ang mga batas natin ay hinayaan ng Panginoon na maisakatuparan dahil ito ay may magandang pakay para sa lipunan at sa mga mamamayan. Hindi ito ginawa para lamang panakot kundi magsilbing gabay sa mga tao para gawin kung ano ang tama at maturuan ang mga may sala na talikuran ang paggawa ng masama at mag-bagong buhay.

God Is Always With you

Para saiyo kapatid na patuloy na nagdadalamhati sa sakit at pait na dulot ng infidelity, ito lamang ang aking maipapayo:

Hindi na mahalaga na tanungin mo ang iyong sarili kung saan ka ba nagkulang at nagawa ito saiyo ng iyong asawa. Lahat tayo ay may kakulangan. Pero kung totoong mahal ka nya, kaya nyang tanggapin ano mang pagkukulang mo at kung mahal mo rin sya, kaya mo ring tanggapin ang buo nyang pagkatao.
Hilingin mo sa Panginoon ano ang dapat mong gawin sa sitwasyon ninyo ng inyong asawa. Tanungin mo Sya kung nararapat bang kasuhan ang iyong asawa ng adultery o concubinage case o patawarin mo na lamang sya, talikuran ang mga nangyari, at hayaan na lamang na panahon ang maghilom ng lahat.
Dios ang palaging nagtatama ng lahat. Ngunit tayo ang kikilos ayon sa Kanyang mga utos. Ika nga nila, “Nasa Dios ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa.”
Huwag kang panghinaan ng loob, hindi lamang ikaw ang nagdurusa at nasasadlak sa ganitong kalagayan. At lalo na, hindi ka nag-iisa. Maraming tao ang handang tumulong saiyo sa anumang paraan na alam nila para ikaw ay makabangon muli.
Patatagin mo ang iyong kalooban dahil karamay mo kami at ang Dios. Sa Dios pa lang, panalo ka na. Hayaan mo Syang igabay ka sa mga tamang taong tutulong sayo at gagabay din sayo sa tamang daan.
Lahat ng bagay may simula at katapusan. Ang paghihirap mong ito ay matatapos din. Ang unos ay titila at ang araw ay lalabas din. Madilim man itong dinaraanan mo ngayon pero liliwanag din sa huli. Manalig ka na lahat ng mga nangyayari sa mundong ito ay nakikita ng Dios. Dios ang pinakahukom kung saan lahat ng bawat kilos natin ay ating pananagutan at sisingilin Nya sa atin pagdating ng tamang panahon.
Bumangon ka kapatid. Harapin mo ang bawat umaga ng may tapang at lakas. Na sa kabila ng pinagdaraanan mo, mananatili kang matatag. Isa kang magiting na sundalo na sa bawat laban, ang bandila mo ay patuloy na mamamayagpag. Higit sa lahat, isa kang magiting na mandirigma dahil kakampi mo ang Dios. At ito sana ang panghawakan mo palagi:

“Tinutulungan Niya ang mga nagdurusa at ‘di binibigo ang walang pag-asa.” – Mga Awit 34:18

Patuloy na nananalangin ng taimtim para saiyo, kapatid,

Life’s Like That

Posted on October 17, 2016 by Christine Lailani

Photo credit: groupon.sg

When I was young, I grew up to the sight of Reader’s Digest magazines laying around the house. My parents have a monthly subscription to it and when I was in grade school and high school, it became one of the favorite books I wanted to read.

This is probably where my inkling on feature stories especially those that are inspirational originated. However, there are other sections in the magazine that caught my attention too: Laughter Is The Best Medicine and Life’s Like That. For the latter, I enjoyed reading the “matter-of-fact” wisdom shared by contributors. I was young back then I didn’t know the exact name for it but contextually, I do get the point.

It was only during my college days that I realized that the “nuggets of wisdom” shared at Life’s Like That can actually be classified as a figure of speech – irony. Just to review our Literature 101 about what “irony” is:

“Irony (from Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία (eirōneía), meaning “dissimulation, feigned ignorance”^[1]), in its broadest sense, is a rhetorical device, literary technique, or event in which what appears, on the surface, to be the case, differs radically from what is actually the case. Irony may be divided into categories such as verbal, dramatic, and situational.” – Wikipedia

Then I reflected about everything. Life is actually a well-celebrated mockery game – it is so full of ironies. If you’d ask me how, I’d give just a few instances I know which were shared to me and I have observed through time as well.

I have come to know of a parent who is an overachiever but with an underachiever child. Or that very religious person whose son/daughter grew up committing all sins the bible has. A wealthy expat, dignified and well-respected with a child who breaks the law often. A prominent family but conflicted relationships. The list can go on and on.

I do not judge them for who they are for these are their own battles of faith, endurance and character building as well and we can all learn from their struggles too and yet I can only ask why the opposite of what was originally intended?

Before I got saved, I was a downright cynic – sarcasm was my favorite wordplay. When I go for the kill, my best weapon was the vilest and meanest words you could think of even without a curse. These words go straight to the heart and the worst kill is towards the ego. That is because I knew nothing back then about this:

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

Yet through it all, I don’t see this as a reason to be regretful, to be stuck in the past and to feel all forlorn even if I have suffered greatly of its consequences. No, it is actually a thing to be celebrated given the guidance of the Spirit. Yes, because looking at it in a Godly perspective, these ironies are what bring us to a position of humility. It taught me how to reflect and carefully choose the proper word in addressing every issue and every single person. It taught me to pause and assess first. It taught me self-control and to wait for the right time. It taught me to be sensitive and gentle. It taught me to be humble enough to accept my mistake and the mistake of others.

This wordplay of sarcasm which I used to love have been turned by God into words that give encouragement, light and hope which made this blog alive. 🙂

There are still times now wherein if I am not conscious and I am not putting up my guard, some of the wrong choice of words or improper delivery of my sentences i.e. tone, etc. still come out even if I intentionally did not mean it. But then, when the Spirit is in you, the rebuke will always be there – through your guilt, your conscience and your heart. That is because my eyes have been opened to the Truth and to what is right.

My husband can attest to the number of times I have almost or even crushed his spirit completely because of the words I have uttered towards him. I only realize it when he would tell me that what I told him made him realize about his weaknesses, mistakes and that I was right. But hearing him say these, I can feel the pain and see it in his eyes.

The pain.

Now this struck me to the core. Oh dear Lord, I have hurt him with my words. When I sense the pain in his tone, I immediately apologize and hug him tight and assure him that I don’t mean it. But as we all know, we can never take back the words we have spoken.

Never.

Moreover, whichever words we hear that elicited a strong emotion in us usually have the greatest impact and will be retained in the memory. If it is in the memory, it will be easily remembered – we are forever reminded. Not to mention that mean words also fuel anger and dissension which lead to conflicts, violence and eventually chaos.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

Thus, in my pursuit towards humble repentance, I prayed to God to shield any person from any hurt that can be derived from any vile word that I unknowingly or have intentionally blurted out. I prayed even more for maximum restraint and discernment. I prayed that forgiveness will rule in our hearts and heal all wounds inflicted – the humble acceptance of mistakes.

Humility is the very core of Christianity. I don’t think I can ever define faith without it. Grace teaches us that. The Cross symbolized nothing more but Grace through humility – submission and acceptance even if undeserving. For how can God subject Himself to a lowly form here on Earth in the image of a man, devoid of any distinct title or position in the society, free from material wealth or possessions and suffered a great deal which no one else have experienced and YET did not sin even once so we could all be free from the bondage of sin?

God is God – the Alpha and the Omega, Omnipotent and Supreme. He is in Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ symbolizes nothing more but humility and acceptance out of obedience and love for His Father, His creator.

We all can never submit, accept and obey if there is no humility. It is actually humility that makes repentance possible which leads on to SALVATION. Again, it all goes back to the Cross.

So why should life be so ironic? Simply because Life’s Like That – full of ironies so we could all learn humility. Humility is God’s way of saving us from the perils of pride and other sins which bring much of this world’s chaos and complications in relationships.

Yes, Life’s Like That. 🙂

Do You Have A War Room?

Posted on May 31, 2016 by Christine Lailani

For I certainly need one. 🙂

First, my apologies. I promised to write this after the “tugging” article and yet another article came before this and another one more.

God’s plan – additional relevant info came in along with the recent events which will be discussed at the latter part of this article.

So I thought it better there’d be a “war room” in churches. If Muslims have a mosque, Catholics have a confessional, I believe born-again Christians should also have a “war room.” We are all united by one God and we all serve one God. If I am not mistaken, we have been called as “The Prayer Nation” too.

This “war room” will offer 3 options to believers whichever they are most inclined to do:

1. Pray in the war room alone if a quiet, personal time with God is needed and yet a war room is not available at home, at work or in school during the midweek.
2. Beside a war room there is a prayer box in case they felt the need for more members of the spiritual family to pray for them and yet do not have the courage to meet them personally.
3. Beside the prayer box is an instruction what to do and who to contact when a dire need is there to talk to a spiritual leader regarding a very urgent and pressing concern i.e. life and death, demonic possessions, safety, hopeless cases, etc.

I have envisioned “war rooms” placed in every city which would be similar to the garden that Jesus went to before the crucial moments of His arrest. I thought it better that every church in every city would build what I call a “A Place of Serenity” where it’ll give peace and solitude to those who desperately seek it.

I got this idea from Sagada in the Mountain Province in the northern part of the Philippines wherein it is flocked by visitors who needed to break away from their busy lives and busy environments and I personally call it as “The Prayer Mountains” based from the experiences of friends who’ve had their “enlightenment” there.

Unfortunately, it is a 6-hour drive from the metro – something that not everyone have the privilege to do on a regular basis. I thought why not create something like it within the metro but as compared to Jesus’ garden and Sagada, this place of serenity within the metro will be built adjusted accordingly to the demands of the city lifestyle – crowded, busy and noisy.

It could be a small parcel of land, turned into a garden i.e. landscaped and surrounded by trees and at the center will be a building or any structure that holds cubicles built in the same way as recording studios (sound proof) with nothing else inside it but a chair, a table, a pen, a paper and a bible.

Why these 5 things only?

First, God will give His instructions as prompted by the Spirit through the Holy Scripture. Second, a chair and a table are another option if one does not want to kneel while praying, there is a physical disability or an elderly. Lastly, a pen and a paper will be needed for documentation if one needs to write a specific bible verse that the Spirit has prompted or if there is a need to write down his/her prayer requests so more members of the spiritual family can pray over them. This can be dropped in a prayer box which I have mentioned in item 2 above.

This idea of a “war room” came after watching none other than one of the best Christian films I have watched so far which is War Room: Prayer Is A Powerful Weapon. It is also because I am in need of one being situated beside a very busy street and neighborhood wherein you hear all sort of sounds and noise any time of the day and night. Our living quarters too come in the form of a small apartment wherein there is use for every nook of the place that does not elicit solitude. So I wondered where would I go if I wanted to seek for serenity within the metro so I could hear God’s instructions clearly.

After our volunteer work at the home for the aged, one of the outreach coordinators asked us who would be willing to volunteer as intercessors to that “special ward” which I referred in the article. Three of us volunteered and they are my church mates, my sisters in Christ and my former bible study group mates. I just thought I’d totally appreciate finding a place that I can call a “war room” as being an intercessor would mean I need to have a more quiet and personal time with God so I could present all these prayer requests, be more in tune with the Spirit and discern His instructions – I have so many to pray for in every area of my life and in everything and everyone around me.

In case you haven’t watched the movie War Room: Prayer Is A Powerful Weapon yet, I highly encourage you to watch it for it’s message is just so powerful, it is so real and yet tells so much of the Truth. 🙂

He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” – Matthew 26:39 (The Prayer in the Garden, Jesus Prays in Gethsemane)

“But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:6 (The Lord’s Prayer)

In case you have been called by the Spirit to intercede for someone or something, this article might help in preparing for the work:

http://www1.cbn.com/questions/what-is-intercessory-prayer

“Lord, we need an army of believers. Lord, call us to battle. Raise them up, Lord. Raise them up.”

A Recollection

Posted on July 7, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Now I understand. 🙂

I could still remember the week prior to his engagement proposal.

Everything around us was chaos, conflict upon conflict, sin upon sin, piling up higher and higher. Then came the snapping point – our mediator, God, stood between us. He called for a time out before things get really rough and things get worse.

5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke our routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days it was all just God and me, God and him.

I thought of it as being in a detention room, only me and God and He was clearing the issues out personally, one by one – a reprimand, a rebuke, a renewal.

And yet God showed mercy by keeping His promise – an open communication between me and him. We obeyed His instructions, we valued what would honor Him. We met after a week and it was love all over.

The engagement proposal happened.

Things were doing well. Then planning came here and there. Preparations are everywhere, aligning of priorities were highlighted. Emotions started to build up, conflicts came again, sins erupted yet again, higher and higher once again.

Then came the saturation point – God once again stood at the middle as the mediator. God is again calling for a time out before things get worse, before ruining completely anything beautiful in the relationship.

5 days. For 5 days we were friends. For 5 days we broke the routine as a couple. For 5 days there was peace. For 5 days there was just me and God, him and God.

Once again, God has showed His mercy by keeping His promise – the communication was there, no one burned bridges.

On the night of the 5th day which was last Sunday, I reached out to him regarding a pressing concern in our business venture that I know he can only relate. He called, I answered. It was love all over again.

He wanted to see me but I can only suggest that we pray to God regarding that.

He said, “I love you so much…You do know how much I love you…”

I said, “Yes, I do love you so much too. But let’s take things one at a time for now – we need not rush anything. We need to trust God and put Him at the center. First.”

Now I understand. 🙂

God is faithful in His promises. The reason why He gives us a time out is because when conflicts seem to cloud almost the entire relationship and we become absorbed with the problems right in front of us, He would pull us out of the situation, away from further harm, so we could see the bigger picture.

He wanted us to see the good in the relationship even when things get really tough – by realigning our thoughts with His. He wanted to make things right and it can only happen when we surrender everything to His will. When things happen prematurely, God knows there will be pitfalls and storms and yet by His love and mercy, He gives the grace for us to bear it all and come out intact and whole.

My ex fiance once told me, “You cannot judge me and my faith because faith is a personal relationship with God – it is only between me and Him.”

Silence.

He was right.

For now I see that yes, God sees the intentions and conditions of our hearts and it is because of that that’s why He didn’t allow our circumstances to harden our hearts and protected us from destroying one another because of pride, bitterness and anger. He made us see the power of prayer, forgiveness and most especially, love. He allowed us to communicate still.

God kept His promise, the ongoing communication was our hope. It is now in our choice if we will claim that promise.

And yet I believe God does not just intend a week this time for us to master that peace, have complete healing and set things right through a Godly perspective. He will restore things when the perfect time has come and when we are both ready. Something that can only be achieved by trusting in Him completely day by day. 🙂

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT

Day 2: MORE REVELATIONS

Posted on July 1, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Today is July 1.

Today marks the second day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting.

Today is the day of resistance but more revelations from the Spirit.

The second day of the prayer and fasting usually is the hardest, for it is the middle ground of fighting for your spiritual hunger over your physical hunger and the testing point if you will make it to the 3rd and last day without giving in to temptations. Temptations are very hard to control at this point for our physical bodies are already going through bouts of hunger, weakness is affecting the mind, and self-control is hardest to attain. And yet, this is the point that your spirit is strengthened for you rely more on spiritual strength which is equivalent to letting God take control of your entire well-being through prayers of strength, deliverance, guidance and sustenance.

Any food that you see will be a temptation; missed calls from him last night will tempt you to call him back today and chances of reconciling are high; and the temptation to turn on your phone and logging in on Facebook may seem inescapable. And yet the Spirit asks to wait for God – it is not yet the right time. Endure if you must. Let the Spirit control your heart, which controls your mind and then your mind controls your body. If I may describe the feeling, it is breathing not for this world but for God.

After attending the prayer meeting last night, our Pastors and spiritual leaders prophesied that there will be tangible revelations and assurances from God for making the harvest. And today’s prayer and fasting devotion is about honoring parents which is exactly the incident that happened with my fiance’s Mom last weekend. It was one of the things I prayed for last night and I woke up today browsing my Our Daily Bread booklet which is just one of the devotional books I read consistently for my daily devotion aside from my daily bible app via You Version.

And I must say that our spiritual leaders are right. For when I opened the page where I stopped yesterday, I was surprised that what was written there was not the regular daily devotion I usually see with the current date and the corresponding bible verse. What I saw instead was a “special article” regarding this – THE FORGIVENESS OF GOD.

Special devotion: God’s Forgiveness

I continued to read the article and indeed, today is a big revelation. For now I know that guilt and shame have been leading my life just like David’s all because of my failures and it has been affecting all aspects of my life. I didn’t notice it until I have read this special write up. And it also cleared a misconception when it comes to forgiveness. Which made me remember about a bible verse I posted about Jesus saying to Peter to forgive not just 7 times but 77 times. A close friend of mine who is also a sister in Christ asked/commented on that bible verse saying, “Sis, what if no asking of forgiveness took place?”

I was struck with that question and made me thought that just forgive and forgive just as God has forgiven us. So I told her, just pray to God just like how Jesus prayed saying, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

That was the answer that I thought was right at that moment. And yet while reading this article on God’s forgiveness, it was reiterated here that there is no such thing as “unconditional forgiveness.” For even God required that we must first proclaim our sins before God and repent before we get baptized or receive salvation which is God’s way of forgiving us and cleansing us from our sins.

Forgiving unconditionally is not right.

Now this is a huge enlightenment on my part for it answers so many questions I have regarding my past relationship. I have always forgiven even if there was no acknowledgement that happened from the wrongs committed. Thus, a change of heart was not there. And yet only God can touch the hearts of those who needed His light – only God can awaken those feelings of guilt, despair and hopelessness which will result to acts of surrender, repentance and asking of forgiveness. As believers, it is our part to wait until those who hurt us come to a point of repentance then forgive when they ask us for it.

Prayers. What we need are more prayers for more people to come into the Light, be healed and saved.

For it was also shared last night that prayers are very powerful. I can attest to that. A prayer sincerely said will surely give answers that may or may not answer your questions or requests but it is through prayers that God gives His instructions for a task that He wanted us done.

I went on to read my devotion for the day and there was that smile of relief again. It is about “Bouncing Back.” I am indeed on the right track and this assures me more that what I did was what God wanted me to do and these are all His plans.

July 1 Devotion via Our Daily Bread

I just love how the “last-liner” of today’s devotion appealed to my spirit right now:

“Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow.”

I often wondered, this truly is not a coincidence. For how can this special article on God’s Forgiveness happens to be of great importance at just the right time, the situations I’ve been in, the decisions I have made and falling in the middle of the 3-day prayer and fasting in church. The developers of Our Daily Bread are not affiliated with our church and yet all are unified on what points call for prayers at this time of the year.

And I believe these revelations not only satisfy today’s prayer requests but this is part of God’s grand plan in the coming days, weeks, months and years. It just amazes me that when God calls out to His people, may you be from another part of this world with a different cultural and social background, all tasks were delegated in serving one common mission and goal.

Many were hurt because of the past turn out of events for the last couple of days, months and years – may it be global, national or personal. The issues need not be complicated nor dissected – they all are one and the same. God is asking we forgive where forgiveness is due. For in doing so, we honor Him.

And I believe what God was asking is that through forgiveness we can all worship Him together and in perfect UNITY – a call to be ready when the perfect time comes to make the harvest. Many will bow down just like what Joseph, the dreamer, has dreamed of.

And only One ruler will rule and one Kingdom will reign – God and His Kingdom. 🙂

Day 1: STRENGTH

Posted on June 30, 2015 by Christine Lailani

Today is June 30.

Today marks the first day of the Mid-Year Prayer and Fasting 2015 in church.

Today is the day I ended a current relationship and reconciled with a former relationship.

Today is all about STRENGTH.

Last Sunday, I was with my fiance and his family to celebrate his brother’s birthday. In case you have been reading my previous posts, a devoted believer put in the midst of non believers is a really tough case. Values wise, any differences could have been resolved if God was the priority and at the center.

But that was not the case. And yet, I am not writing this to complain but to share my faith.

Having a non believer as a partner is indeed being yoked unequally. It is difficult to agree on certain matters for two perspectives are at hand – worldly (his) and Godly (mine). And yet, God is so faithful He gave me the strength, patience and the means to endure it all.

I can only accept our differences: good moral values, upright conduct, beliefs in faith, etc. BUT there is a time for everything as God puts it in the bible.

A saturation point so to speak.

This time calls for things to come into a final halt. I don’t mean to judge but I meant to enlighten by sharing in some unfavorable experiences I have had. It is not for us to judge though and condemn but God’s.

Last Sunday I was with my fiance’s family. I was a guest, I do not make the call what time we go to church, what time we leave the house, etc. As a Victory group leader, we were advised by our spiritual leaders to arrive early during a Sunday service. But we arrived late for so many reasons being able to hear only the last few stanzas of the last worship song. I felt broken. I was there in church feeling guilty not being able to live up to my responsibilities as a group leader. And yet it was not my choice to make. I tried to fight against the feeling of guilt, a little bit of anger and sadness within me and just be thankful we still ended up in church.

Then it was time for the lecture to be delivered and Pastor Jonathan of Victory Alabang led the discussion. Word after word, my heart was slowly being torn apart – the message was for me. I was fighting back those tears. Those tears of how many months of trying to fight for faith against the worldly, of keeping quiet and enduring it all and those moments of pain from conflicts. My heart was so heavy I knew it was the Spirit asking me to do something. Pastor Jonathan just nailed it when he preached regarding “darkness” and what it means to us. Especially when he talked about marriage, that maybe the conflicts did not come from the enemy anymore but from myself – a reluctant and stubborn heart to pursue my desires, my plans and my lack of strength to let go and let God. I was on the verge of raising my hand for that second altar call, but I know there is no such thing. Or if there is, then God knows I already made it at that moment. The wounds have been exposed now in the open and they hurt even more. I can no longer bear it and yet I know I needed to move on and pray even more.

It was funny though I remembered walking out of the worship hall with a smile of relief. Then for the first time, we went out the exit door where books on faith and devotionals were being sold. I felt a tug in my heart to browse through them. And I believe these books were picked by the Spirit for me for the season I am in right now. And I bought a baller too – my first about faith. And I remembered telling my fiance jokingly that I will buy a memorabilia as this might be the last time I’ll be attending Victory Alabang. And it looks like the joke really was on me. 😀

Faith memorabilia.

Touchpoints for Women: God’s Answers for Your Every Need is the perfect devotional book for women dealing with specific issues. And I did not read the first page yet, I was waiting for the right time. And the other book I bought was the only book available there on relationships, marriage and faith – The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love. This, too, I have read the first page but decided not to continue as I am no longer in this season. I just thought that this is all God’s way of preparing me for something in the future.

Touchpoints for Women

The Act of Marriage

I was keeping my calm when at a buffet restaurant, all the rest of the family including my fiance and his Mom, agreed to sneak out some sweets to give to a niece back home. I gently reminded my fiance that it is a Sunday and we just finished attending church and we are all aware that it is against the restaurant’s policies to take out any food. I was grateful my fiance listened when I told him if ever you get caught, consider that we are both professionals – I am a teacher, you are a nurse. We both were given licenses to nurse and to teach under the oath that we will behave appropriately in public. They were drinking too and it was not a big deal for me and yet when my fiance was advised that a vice is more important than work which made him decide to file for a sick leave the next day, I was broken again. Another heavy heart for me and yet ended with a smile of relief.

I stayed at their place which is one of the things I am totally against as it gives room for temptation to enter in, and yet by God’s grace, temptation failed to get in. Next day, I accompanied my fiance to the bank to deposit money and we had another conflict and this was the first time I experienced how far his rage could go. He pushed me out of his anger and when we were having the heated discussion I saw his trembling hands while rummaging on his things. Yes, it was an accident that he did it – out of his anger. So I thought it best I leave him alone for the meantime and let him cool down his temper. And yet it made me think too that it was a red flag. A guy who easily gets angry and could not control it will lead to physical violence. Domestic violence is not the kind of home I wished for my kids to grow up in. He did apologize after and I have forgiven him. I was broken and yet there is that smile of relief.

In the afternoon, we were on our way to Starbucks to celebrate the wedding anniversary of their parents as his dad is not here. Came the moment that his mom inquired regarding our business venture and our plans. His mom lent us some money to be able to start the business and indeed, the borrower is a servant to the lender. For during the discussion, I felt that his mom was suggesting things about the business and asking me why are you planning this if you want this and that and at that time, I was also talking through text with a business partner regarding a business meeting that I wasn’t able to attend because I prioritized my fiance and his family and it didn’t turn out as planned. There were a lot of things going on in my head, I was not in the right mood to talk about serious things and it was too late for me to realize that I was already answering in a very aggressive and offensive tone. I was provoked and yet my fiance did not support me and our plans but instead blamed me why we are in complicated situations right now.

My heart was broken. His Mom went on to “advice” on what to do, what we should do in front of my fiance and his sister. Some were very insulting and I am already aware that she doesn’t notice too how offensive her words could get as I was told by the girlfriend of my fiance’s brother who was also in conflict with my fiance’s Mom for the very same reasons which ended in broken relationships with the future in laws. My body was trembling out of anger that I was suppressing. I was controlling not to let tempers loose and holding back my tongue not to say words that are even worse. I was able to listen and they were able to laugh and talk about things although they sensed I was not in my happy mood. And his Mom was affected by my inability to join in the fun. I tried but it was not that easy to let go as if nothing happened. And yet a smile of relief came through – I need to respect her.

No shouting, no curses and temper outbursts came through from me, I was able to hold it all back and just listened when she made the final statements. I stayed silent and talked with them when I can and smiled when I have to all the way home. My fiance gave me a cold shoulder not talking to me while eating and when he was driving us home and I was seated beside him. I stayed silent and broken for I know now how Jesus felt when everyone around Him abandoned Him and was persecuting and condemning Him, but I was able to smile with relief – I was able to pour out all my concerns and my side to his mom, although my mistake was, emotions took hold mostly of the discussion.

When we got home, the Spirit convicted me to do the right thing – apologize. I wanted to talk to his Mom personally but couldn’t find the right moment to talk privately so I chose Facebook instead to send her a letter of apology for how I behaved and if I have offended her. I also apologized to her personally when I said my “goodbyes” when we left the next day. In the letter, I thanked her for her suggestions keeping in my mind that she only wanted what is best for me and my fiance. I also apologized to my fiance but it came to another heated discussion – my fiance blamed me for ruining his parents’ wedding anniversary celebration. Aggression and blaming were there. Until he blurted out that I am not worthy of his respect at all. Yes, I was broken again and yet came a smile of relief afterwards – I cried to him explaining my side that as my future spouse, he should support me and our plans at all times because the spouse should always come next to God. I tried to understand him knowing how my fiance is so dependent and attached with his Mom that he could not even let go of that attachment even now that we were about to be married – one of our ongoing conflicts.

At this point, allow me to share some very important points during the Marriage Preparation seminar we attended in church. I highly recommend you attend one as it will answer the question if both of you are REALLY ready to commit:

Putting GOD at the center.

“Leaving”

“Cleaving”

We were able to end the conversation peacefully and decided to learn from the experience and move on although we did contemplate on breaking up and he wanted to end things already. I reminded him about the lecture service we just heard last Sunday and quoted bible verses. I can only hope and pray they all got through to him.

We said our “goodnights” but I suddenly woke up at 3:30am. And I thought I heard someone called me. I couldn’t go back to sleep anymore and was contemplating on telling my fiance the next morning to end the relationship formally as I believe it is what God was asking at the moment. We have ended the relationship so many times and yet neither of us have the courage and the strength to be firm with our decision considering a lot of factors, i.e. love is not an emotion but a decision; we will dishonor God if we break the commitment; etc.

I was praying all along for God to save me from this “darkness.” I no longer feel safe, I am not happy and my faith was always tested. And yet, God assured me and prepared me for this – for I know these are all His plans. I took a cab the day before I went to their place and I know it is not a coincidence that this is the name of the cab I was riding:

God Driven Jankei (I interpreted it as God-Driven Junkie). 😉

And when we were driving home from Starbucks and even going to church, incoming trucks from the opposite lane mostly have a “God Promised” sign board on top. I didn’t know what they meant at that time and even now. And I thought, I must be dreaming or I must be in another dimension, or am I already in Heaven? 😀 Yep, I was broken, but I can smile with relief knowing that God is with me anywhere and I need not fear.

I was sleepless last night silently praying to God to give me peace and to continue seeking for His forgiveness and having a forgiving heart letting go of the past. And when my fiance and I boarded the bus going back to Manila this morning, I just let the peace that God gave me to fill me in. And yet that peace came out of a decision – the decision to finally let go of the relationship and let God take control.

Yes, letting go of my worldly relationship with my fiance and reconcile with my spiritual relationship with my God.

My fiance and his family are not perfect in the same way that me and my family and all the people in this world are not perfect and will be making mistakes one way or the other. It is all a matter of seeking God’s forgiveness and obedience to God’s instructions. I can only pray for their salvation in the same way I am praying for my transformation every day. I texted my fiance this morning that I would have opted to end things personally and yet I know the situation calls we end it now. God is asking us to do it and He is asking us to trust Him what His plans are for both of us in the following days, weeks, months or years even. It has been said that during the Prayer and Fasting, the Spirit works at its best because it is most powerful during this moment. When I got off the bus, it is just strange that the ticketing personnel of the bus assisted me down as if I am a debutante walking down the stairs although I am only carrying two little bags. And it is also strange how the tricycle driver said “I love you” to me after paying my fare when I took the tricycle going to our apartment.

They are very strange but I got an answer: God was telling me I am still worthy of respect despite my fiance telling me last night I am not worthy of his respect and despite my failures and I even thought that could it be that God was in that tricycle driver as if telling me and comforting me,

“My child, I love you and you have nothing to worry nor to fear for I am with you always, anywhere, anytime. Let go of the things that you have no control over so I can take control of them. Leave them all up to me. I am ALL THAT YOU NEED.”

Which now made me realize why I chose or the Spirit chose my baller for me that says this: Jesus + Nothing = EVERYTHING.

Jesus + Nothing = Everything

John 1:3

God is more than enough, Jesus is worth the sacrifice.

I remembered one instance I shared to my brother about the conflicts that my fiance and I had, and he told me to just endure it all. He said that they might be a test of faith and if I get used to giving up easily, it will also reflect in other decisions I make in life. Or maybe the reason why I am going through the same things I did in the past was because I keep on making a mistake – that of choosing a man who is not after God’s heart. He said that they just differ in names and background but personality wise, they are the same because they are not yet believers. He told me we cannot judge for even Christian guys and Pastors make mistakes but let’s just wait what God’s plans are. For the meantime, he asked me to be assured always and to pray and the question I asked back at him was this,

“I can trust him even if he makes mistakes repeatedly and no matter how dark his past was if and only if I know that he was already born again, now a devoted Christian and was already saved. For I know every time he makes a mistake, he will experience Godly sorrow and will go back to God. But he was not saved yet – no sincere and genuine repentance took place in his past, how would he know how to search for God and go back to Him when conflicts arise and things fall apart?”

My brother was silent for a moment and just simply said, “Now that is the thing we cannot control anymore.”

As of writing, I just finished my Day 1 Prayer and Fasting devotion and getting ready for the prayer meeting tonight to know more of the Spirit’s revelations. I have decided to not log in on Facebook and Twitter for the entire duration of the prayer and fasting week and turn off my phone by day and turn it on by 6pm onwards as part of controlling addictions. I committed to a once-a-day-meal type of fast and yet unbelievably, I do not feel any hunger at all. All I ever wanted to do is immerse myself on “spiritual food” and share via my megaphone regarding my faith – this blog. But since I committed to a once-a-day meal fast, I will uphold to that commitment. 🙂

I am smiling – with relief, contentment and peace. I am praying, still, for healing, for guidance, discernment on God’s will and that my plans will be more in tune with His this time, more strength, more courage, more patience and restoration of things that were broken. But I am now assured that I can only put my hopes in God alone. Indeed, true love and security can only be found in Him. And I can only be grateful to Him for this hope, this second salvation, this peace and this love that now gives me joy for I can now serve my Lord wholly in truth and in purity.

Thank God for the STRENGTH. 🙂

P.S.

There really is something about number 3 – my water baptism was 3/3/13 (the day I was reborn), I always wake up around 3:30am not knowing why and I receive my daily bible verse notification from my bible app every 3:00pm though I set it to appear every 9am.

So…I don’t want to go ahead of God’s plans but I am believing in His promises (if these are His promises) – that I’ll give it 3 days to let things heal during this prayer and fasting, seek for forgiveness from people I have hurt, apply the 3-month-no-dating rule, pray to God how to tell our families, move on with a new and Godly perspective, maybe get married by age 31 as I am claiming I am done with my grad study by that time (I am now 29 turning 30 this December), spend a year with my future husband as a married couple to get to know each other better living under one roof and have my first baby when I am 33. 😀

Still, “many are the plans of man but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail.” I can only praise God for giving me this now – HOPE, may it be in numbers, in signs, in words, in other people, in the Scripture or even in that tricycle driver. 😉

Free and Forgiven

Posted on June 10, 2015 by Christine Lailani

“God breaks us apart so we can be whole in Him.”

Far too often read and said in any faith-motivating speech or article. And yet I only got to take in the gist of it all now in this season.

God breaks our hearts open so we could become vulnerable. It is through our vulnerability that we become aware of our weaknesses. In our weaknesses we then become aware that we need a God who will help us overcome them weaknesses.

In this moment of vulnerability we are put in a crucial spot of choosing whether to let the enemy deceive us and win or choose God and be guided.

Oftentimes the enemy’s powerful weapon is deception and his perfect tool to accomplish it is your past. Sometimes your past will come again just before your eyes. And you have two things in your hand:

1. You let it destroy your present by feeling guilty and shameful once again.

OR.

2. You can choose to dismiss it because you are now free and forgiven – if you have been saved already.

I must say I was bordering number 1 to the point that my faith began to slacken. Fear overtook and then it just dawned on me that I haven’t attended church for a while now due to commitments, a busy schedule and a lot of intervening factors that I didn’t see them coming including the conflicts in my personal relationships that aggravated the disconnect in faith.

But God is faithful. He doesn’t give you something wherein that something will be of no good use to you. He sometimes uses them in circumstances that you least likely expect. I shared to my fiance the feeling of disconnection I have lately and that I feel I am not entitled to be in church anymore because my old self is coming back and he was also a witness of that. He has seen the kind of rage I used to have and the old bad habits overtaking me for the most part.

Yet it was him that I least expect to say that “the more that we have to go to church.” And I was shocked to hear it coming from him. Definitely not him whom I am urging to join a bible study group and a one to one discipleship so he would be born again but he declined saying it is not yet the perfect time. Not him whom I consider as not yet a devoted believer based on my own standards.

And yet again, God made me realize at that moment that my fiance is also my brother in Christ because he is His precious child too. It is not for me to judge why he has been given to me or whether he is the 1 or from the 99.

We went to church and once again I felt refreshed and renewed. But came more pressing issues, the wedding. Ideally, the engagement period should last for 6 months utmost according to the Marriage Preparation Seminar we attended in church. And this month is our 6th month as a couple. The temptation is getting strong but we cannot pull off a church wedding this year. Came another option – have a civil wedding.

But my constant question came out of fear – “Will I forever be unequally yoked?” There is no more turning back after the wedding – it is the real deal. They say that a husband/wife can make or break you. He wasn’t able to join a group in church whom he can consider as his spiritual family through his fellow brothers in Christ before we get married.

I was beginning to lose hope in connecting him with a spiritual family who would help him foster a deeper relationship with the Lord. Because I know I can never change Him and all God can through a spiritual family. It will never be enough that we attend church.

And while I was brooding over the options we have, asking God, praying to God, came a thought that never ever crossed my mind until now. When we get married, I will no longer be attending my bible study group with fellow single sisters in Christ but will be joining a couples’ bible study group. Chances are high that he will be attending it with me. Because he knows how vital it is for me to attend a bible study group and I plan to have it before our usual church service. And that answers my question.

There is still hope that he will be saved.

And having this in mind, I can only shout praises of honor and glory to Him. Indeed, my little, human mind will never ever grasp God’s bigger plans and what is to come. I can only wait when He instructs and reveals all in His perfect time. I asked him a couple days ago if he is interested to join a couple’s bible study group and he said, “yes.” And for now, what I can only do is continue praying that God will keep His beautiful promises for us both as a couple and that we may grow spiritually together along and through other fellow couples in Christ. 🙂

Indeed, the way that every person is saved is very different from the other. I was so clueless before and so focused on the problem that I never noticed God is showing me there is ALWAYS hope through Jesus Christ who is the way, the truth and the light. And now I understand too why when I had my bible study group for fellow single sisters in Christ, I have a co leader. She will be taking in charge of the group when the right time comes for me to leave the group. It will be heartbreaking but I am also praying I get to keep my fellowship with them even if I’m in a new season already.

I was in utmost humility as I suddenly remembered this verse all through this:

Matthew 8:26

” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then He got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.”

Indeed, I have so little faith and yet I am always and forever will be grateful God is faithful, He gives me PEACE, He provides me EVERYTHING and never fails in keeping His promises. His LOVE endures forever though I do not deserve it. It is time I grow my faith bigger in this season. I have read in Rick Warren’s book that we have to set aside our own personal agenda and focus on loving other people more not looking on who they were and who they are now but rather on who they can be.

I cannot tell for certain what I know is what will happen. For I cannot see the plans of God. And yet it is just comforting to know that God is and will be with me along the way. He just not give me signs and verses from the Scripture but importantly, I can feel that the Spirit is leading the way. I know that like how Jesus completed His mission, so too are we going to carry our own “cross.” And what I have shared may be what I have to carry for now. The following verses reminded me that:

Matthew 16:24 NLT

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”

Matthew 7:14 NLT

“But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.”

And an even GREATER reminder – OBEDIENCE:

1 Samuel 15:22 NLT

“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord : your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice?

Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”

I believe this is what God meant to be really free and forgiven. And I can only pray that I’d be successful in completing the mission of glorifying Him, making Him known until the time comes I can also say that “it is finished.” 🙂

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Infidelity: Kasong Concubinage at Adultery

Ano Ang Iyong Gagawin Bilang Isang Kristyano?

God Is Always With you

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