I Want To Know

Here’s something I penned just yesterday for those who have been reading my posts. I think you weren’t brought here by chance. Thank you for journeying with me, and this is for you. Cheers to 2024! 🥂😊


I Want To Know

by Christine Lailani

I want to know your chaos. Because I want to see if mine will complement yours so we can find peace together.

I want to know your darkness. Because I want to see how you’ve managed your way out towards the light. And should you find yourself stuck in another darkness, let’s search for the light hand in hand.

I want to know your demons. Because I want to see if you have tamed them and if not, let’s pray on how to defeat them.

I want to know your weakness. Because I want to see how and when should I be strong for you.

I want to know your failures. Because I want to see how can I be the wind beneath your wings.

I want to know who God is in your life. Because I want to see if you and I have kindred spirits. So we can light this world up together.


I hope this inspires you to be the hope that this world oftentimes deprives some of us. Keep on shining, my loves. Somebody’s got your back and praying for you always. ❤️🙏😘


“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” – Romans 8:18



P.S. The video link below from “The Other Slide” is not related to this post, but it’s my current fascination. I hope you get mesmerized by it, too. That is if you’re also a Science lover like me. 😉 I never got to experience this when I was in high school, and I don’t know why we didn’t do this in my Bio class in college. I guess we didn’t have this on planet Nibiru. 🤔

The Other Slide: https://www.facebook.com/reel/649906430661448?s=yWDuG2&fs=e&mibextid=Nif5oz


When Feelings Are Valid But Unreliable

Today is Sunday, but I watched last Sunday’s online service. Divergents will always be nonconformists, I guess. 😉

I was able to watch Pastor Patrick’s preaching entitled “How Do We Respond to Difficult Situations,” and the message just came in timely. The preaching made me ask myself: “Am I making the right responses?”

In light of the recent events, I thought about my response when my husband told me he’s leaving. Have I made the right decision to let my husband go back to Manila without me? The answer was crystal clear. It could be that I am the one who’s hindering my husband on his walk with God because of my own fears. I’m afraid to lose him, and I’m afraid I will lose him completely.

But what if I have to lose him so God can do His work of “finding” my husband and “bringing” my husband back to Him first? So this is my one and only prayer now. That my husband may be saved, whether he comes back to me or not. Because that is what truly matters and that is our purpose here in this world – to help people go back to God.

Life in this world as a believer is all about allowing God to use us as an instrument so His people will be saved, and how far we are willing to trust God that He’s got everything under control. Even if it means experiencing pain for a moment. Even if it means losing people believing that God has their best interests in mind.

We all have to go through seasons because that’s what Ecclesiastes 13 also said, “there is a time for everything under the heavens.” There is a time to part ways, there is also a time to meet. There is a time for sadness, there is a time for joy, and so on and so forth.

It is through these seasons that God molds us in His image because He is the potter and we are the clay. We can’t become what we are supposed to be without God intervening. It’s just that we don’t want to hold out our hand when God reaches out.

Because humans are just too prideful. The preaching last Sunday captured what my heart is denying. It is time I let down my pride. It is time I lose control. It is time I accept what God wanted all along. It is about time I level up my faith and trust God once more – but bolder and braver.

So my heart’s settled. And I guess it’s safe to assume that I’m not basing my decisions on feelings, but by obeying what God wanted. Even if I was reluctant to obey. Well, at first.

I can see myself in Pastor Patrick’s stubborn (but cute) lil’ girl who obeyed, but is still hesitant. So yes, maybe I deserve a little bit of that rod, too. A heavenly rod (if it comes from God) maybe? 😀