I thought I was already done with an article on mental health, but it looks like God is asking me to write more. The topic is no longer uncomfortable for me because the incident of attempted suicide happened a very long time ago.
And journaling about it helped me process the negative experience, which paved the way for my healing. The problems that I am going through now are also different compared to what I went through before. And being a born-again Christian now, I think, mattered greatly in how I view and deal with mental health issues as they come.
In fact, I no longer cry every time I recount the turning point of my becoming a born-again Christian. Um, no, I think I shed a tear or 2. Or maybe 4? Wait, I think, it’s 7. But it’s definitely less than 10 tears. lol 😀
Seriously though, I do take note of my crying sessions as part of my emotion regulation strategies. If the crying sessions don’t stop after 15 minutes, that means I need to do something productive that doesn’t involve too many emotions.
It has to be something that will keep my mind preoccupied. Let’s say solving a puzzle or playing an online game. Anything that taps the logical part of my brain.
I do agree with what some people say that your professional job can be a way for you to temporarily shift your focus from your sorrow or pain. Well, given that it’s not the source of your sorrow and pain. 😀
Kidding aside, we have to love our jobs because God gave them to us as a means to provide for us and our families’ needs. God often uses our jobs as a channel of blessings to other people, too. ❤
Being In Tune With Your Emotions
Emotion regulation is a challenging skill to learn. It will take a lot of time and requires discipline, self-control, patience, and different coping mechanisms to master it, especially in some cases where childhood verbal abuse was present.
Let’s say you are in the middle of a conversation, and you want to snap because somebody said something harsh to you, and in your head, you’re like, “That was rude. That comment was uncalled for. Where did that sarcastic insult come from?”
So then you start feeling irritable and angry, but emotion regulation will say, “Switch those two buttons off, pause, take a deep breath, excuse yourself from the conversation quickly, come back when you’re calmer, or just let it slide. God heard it, anyway.”
If you hear these sarcastic and rude comments often, my suggestion is to lessen your interaction with that person. Avoid situations you know will lead to a heated verbal exchange. There is always a polite way of saying “no.”
And actually, people can’t force you to stay if you leave. Their behavior is always beyond your control, and your peace of mind matters more. It is my prayer that you will be able to discern when a relationship is becoming abusive.
If these instances should persist for months to years and nothing seems to change, please seek God’s guidance if the best resort is to leave for the time being. Then, have faith and leave the changing to God. That is how we set boundaries. Although yes, this is always easier said than done.
The Bible also has something to say about emotion regulation:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20
“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” – James 1:26
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25
There are actually a lot more Bible verses about controlling the tongue and managing anger, which I also mentioned in the article before this. While it is God’s mandate to love our enemies, God also taught us to be discerning enough to know when a situation becomes too destructive for us that it will tempt us to commit a sin.
This is why prayer is very important. Because when we are in spiritual warfare, we need to pray and ask God through Jesus’ Name to equip us with everything that we need to win the war.
And no, fighting head-on with the enemy (confronting) won’t give you a good ending. It rarely does. In fact, it’s the other way around, and I have learned this the hard way.
But I have learned to forgive myself and forgive others. And day by day, I continue to seek God’s help to mold me, change me, and teach me what I need to learn so that when I encounter a similar situation in the future, I will respond better.
Sharing A Testimony And Being A Witness For Christ
Going back to dealing with mental health issues, the challenge really is not about remembering a bad memory. But being vulnerable enough to share my weaknesses here for the entire world to see, holding on to Scripture:
[Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”] – 2 Corinthians 12:9
And I also want to allow fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to test the spirit from which my articles are coming. Please rebuke me if necessary because, as I’ve mentioned in my previous articles, I am no theologian, and I do not have the proper training. All I was tasked to do was to share my testimony and my personal spiritual journey, and how I view God as a believer.
As it is written,
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this, you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already.
Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore, they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this, we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.” – 1 John 4:1-6
I Call On God’s Mercy And Protection Over The Soft Ones
After another incident yesterday of the suicide of yet another young person (and another report, as of writing, of a student from a university in Manila who allegedly fell), I felt like I had to continue writing this article. This has been sitting in my drafts since last year. And it looked like it was meant to be written and posted this year.
I would like to cover the family with prayers of comfort and peace in this time of extreme sadness and grief…May God’s saving grace be upon them as they heal from this heartbreaking moment…My heart grieves with them…I pray that no spirit of condemnation be upon the family of the bereaved, and I am praying for the eternal rest of their child’s soul…<3
I don’t want to go into details about how I failed in my two suicide attempts before I became a born-again Christian. But there was one instance that I remembered, trying to think about how my parents would react. They were not perfect, and I can also list a couple of things where they failed as parents. I just felt they don’t deserve to experience something as tragic as this.
I read this statement in one article written by a pastor (not verbatim) to put it lightly: “If you are desperately longing to be with God, this is not a good way to meet Him.”
And yet I was also reminded that we don’t see the struggles of every person on this planet. Depression, for one, is a silent killer. It really doesn’t have a face. Some people are so good at masking it that you won’t notice the depth of heaviness they carry every single day. And nobody is exempt from it; even pastors and priests fall victim to it.
Because the enemy chooses NO ONE in particular, it chooses ANY ONE.
And this is the war that I have talked about in my previous articles. This is the battle that we are going to face now, and some people are already fighting it, me included. And this is why I entitled this article, “Protect The Soft Ones.”
I chose to use the word “soft” instead of “weak.” I think those who took their own lives were actually not weak. Because taking a life is murder, no matter who did it or to whom, even if it’s your own.
You may be emotionally soft, but you will need physical strength to be able take your own life. Otherwise, you will fail. Just like what happened to me. Because I am emotionally soft, but I am also physically weak, that is why I failed. And yet it is in my weakness that God met me. ❤
I Chose Life Through Jesus Christ
Whew, Lord, February pa lang, ang bibigat na ng pinapasulat mo sa akin. Pwede bang magsulat tungkol naman sa kung paano naiinlab ang mga langgam? Kasi lagi sila dinadamay sa mga sweet memes, Balentayms pa man din bukas.
Ah yes, “Laughter is the best medicine,” as they say. In fact, the Bible said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” – Proverbs 17:22
If you’re wondering why I get to talk about death and dying in a somewhat casual manner, it is not because I am taking it lightly, because I shouldn’t. But it’s because I came close to death that I am now no longer afraid of it, PLUS (and a very big plus), combined with Jesus, the Cross, salvation, and life in eternity, no, I think we don’t have to be afraid of death.
AND YET, I still firmly believe in promoting life – CHOOSE LIFE, LOVE LIFE.
Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10
God has given us life for a very good purpose. If I succumbed to suicide 13 years ago, then most likely I wouldn’t be able to meet my spiritual family, I wouldn’t be able to write my testimony and the saving grace of God, this blog wouldn’t have existed, and I wouldn’t have met the beautiful community of WordPress. ❤
God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.
I always hold on to this phrase when things don’t work out the way I expected them to, not because God answered all my prayers and solved all my problems before. But there’s always His assurance that it is only a season.
Before I continue to the mental health part, I would like to offer a short prayer first. Words have the power to start a war or calm a crowd. It either heals or it wounds. I am praying mine will be able to uplift spirits and not condemn.
Please pray with me:
Dear Lord,
We ask for your divine leading on how we are going to discuss this topic. May it not lead to desperation but instead offer a renewed sense of hope. May it bring assurances as much as it brings tears of freedom because all burdens were lifted.
Please open our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits as we receive Your wisdom in Jesus’ Mighty Name, AMEN.
Why Mental Health Matters
I was recently doing a little bit of research on mental health because of something that my family and I just went through that brought back sad memories. And after 30 minutes of research, I was prompted to stop because I already got what I needed. It looks like the Spirit reminded me about not allowing the negative energy from what I read become the portal for whatever evil that almost was successful in making me do the unthinkable.
My search brought me though to ponder on thought-provoking questions such as:
“Where do people who died by suicide go?”
“Do believers go to heaven even if they commit suicide, such as the priests and pastors who took their own lives?”
“Do we go straight to heaven after we die?”
“Do we get new bodies in the Second Coming?”
“What kind of judgment happens during Judgment Day if, after dying, we are already judged as to who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?”
While I have found the answers to these questions, I felt like I was in no position to write them here. My recommendation would be to reach out to your church leaders, pastors, and priests to expound answers to these questions, as God equipped them in times like these. Most of our churches have emails and contact numbers, where you can send in your questions if you want to be anonymous.
Meanwhile, aside from connecting to a spiritual family and prayers, I would like to share a couple of practical tips on how to deal with mental health issues at home. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting style, yet the Bible offers some reminders on how to rear children. I pray that every parent will be guided by the Spirit in raising children because it is also a calling.
How To Win Your Child To Christ
“Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4
I know I am in no position to share about parenthood because I have never been a parent. Well, Paul shared about love and relationships when he was actually single. 😀
My parents have a different way of raising us, too. But as I grew up, I have also learned to adopt a new parenting style should it be God’s calling for me to raise kids. Here are some of them:
1. Have Those Hard and Difficult Conversations
As parents, it is always best to become the mediator during arguments and conflicts. And only saying “that is enough” and letting them boil their anger down, and giving space and time to forget the conflict has happened, will never make the problem go away.
It’s best to follow it through by allowing both parties to talk about their grievances, and remind each child if one is shouting or the other is blaming. Come up with a list of solutions that are favorable for both sides. Make them agree with it and commit to it. List down the consequences if they won’t be able to stay consistent in keeping their promise. This is to establish accountability.
And when your child finally opens up, do not dismiss what they feel nor downplay their emotions. They need to be seen and heard, and this is very important. Let’s practice the attitude of listening with the intent of understanding, and when I say “understanding,” it should be less about our standpoint and more about where our child is coming from.
If the issue is affecting them big time, you might have to break some of the previous rules you have in place and approach from a place of love and understanding instead. I have seen families who went through the most heartbreaking tragedies, but they remained intact. I know love is a main driver of it.
2. Keep Dinner Table Conversations Light
Do you want to be grilled while you are eating your favorite pasta? I think the cheese will love it. But a person won’t. 😀 I believe we should digress from asking the usual questions, such as “How was school or work today?” and replace them instead with “Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? My ears are open for suggestions.”
Try to notice your child’s behavior if something is off, and you can attempt having a conversation with them in private, like, “Sweetheart, I noticed something is bothering you. If you want to talk about it, I want to let you know that I am here to listen, okay?” When your child is going through something, be a friend first, a parent second.
I know some parents don’t want to do this because they are afraid their children will not respect their authority afterward. But I believe that this is when your child will need you most, so it is critical to create a safe environment where they will not be criticized and reprimanded for being honest.
3. Establish Boundaries
Each of your child will have their own personalities. There are the confident ones. Then there are the shy ones. You have the joker. You have the genius. Each of them will have their own temperament. And each one will develop their own interests and influences. They will also have their own group of friends.
Boundaries will make sure that the family respects each member’s individuality. And yet, parents have the responsibility to teach their children about their identity in Jesus Christ and raise them according to Scripture.
Please, please, please avoid comparing them and avoid pitting them against one another. That is the easiest way to destroy your family. We do not destroy our families; we build them carefully and lovingly.
When a family member needs space, give it. If one family member prefers to be away from home for some time (if they are above 18 AND if they can support themselves by working part-time or being a scholar), give them that request if, after praying, God instructs you that it is really necessary.
But make sure to still check up on them every now and then. Leave it to God to do the protecting when anxiety tells you what if something bad happens to my kid while he/she is away.
4. Pray Heartfelt Prayers (Not Generic Ones)
We’ve all had those prayers when we were kids. Pretty understandable. But as kids grow older, we can slowly teach them about the art of praying. Most likely, they would want to know how to start a prayer, how to end it, what to include in their prayers, or how long or short it has to be.
If we want to amp their praying habit a little higher, or when they become young adults, we can show them how to pray for others, too. This way, it’ll be natural for them when one of their siblings needs prayers as they enter adulthood and have their own families already.
5. Offer Apologies
I really admire parents when I see them stopping a fight between their two children, wherein the parent will ask one child what his problem was, and then switch to asking the other child what is it that angered him, come up with a quick solution, and then ask them to apologize and hug after.
This scene always warms my heart. And at the same time, I also pray that when these kids grow up, they’ll still apply the same conflict resolution strategy even if their parents are no longer around. By the way, the Bible has a lot to say about apologies and forgiveness. Here are some of them:
“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2
“…to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” – Titus 3:2
“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” – Mark 11:25
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9
Bottomline, it will always be a case-by-case basis. I pray that God will give every parent the wisdom to do His will as far as raising children is concerned.
How To Win Your Parents To Christ
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12
I know the feeling of being a rebellious teen. I was one. I know the feeling of doing bad things just to offend my parents. It was a painful learning experience, but by God’s grace, it brought me to where I am now.
It taught me that no matter how bad you felt, you only have one biological family. If you are still under your parents’ care, meaning you still live with them and they provide all your needs, it is only honorable that you obey them.
No family is perfect. However, if they are the reason for your brokenness; forgive because they, too, need God’s saving grace. God is also working in them. If you need to be away from them because that is the best way for you to heal, you can still love them from a distance.
From my experience, I actually couldn’t remember exactly how my Mom talked to me again after not speaking with me for 2 years. I would come here at home, and she would give me the silent treatment as if I did not exist. I did not force her to talk to me; I just waited. Until an opportunity came wherein we were on speaking terms again.
By the way, just for context, it was my Mom who provided the funds for my graduate study, which is why her anger was valid. Though we had an agreement that once I get a job again, I will pay her back. I wasn’t able to pay her back, but I made it my responsibility to help take care of her when she was hospitalized for 2 months due to stage 4 breast cancer.
Mom wanted me to finish my graduate study asap. Unfortunately, after talking to my thesis adviser, I would have to forego getting married, getting a job, and attending to my husband’s needs if I want to finish it, as it will require I put my 100% focus on my graduate study.
I also had a realization that Special Education is not for me, so I pursued a writing career instead. By the way, only 3 graduated from our batch (there were 15 of us, if I remember it right) – it wasn’t easy. You had to make a lot of sacrifices, especially during the thesis part (individual and not group work), sacrifices that I couldn’t make at that time.
And I am very grateful for that experience, no matter how difficult. Why? It deepened the bond that I had with my Mom. We are not the type who share our personal problems with our parents. Most especially when it comes to relationships. But after the incident, I felt like the barrier was broken down, and I could share anything with my Mom.
And the timing was perfect because when I went through very rough seasons in my marriage, it was my Mom who became my number one confidante. I would call her and text her very long messages explaining what happened, and she always gives me answers and advice that give me peace and strength to move forward.
And during one incident, I was able to hear my Mom mention her having a personal relationship with Jesus, and acknowledge her need for prayers. That, to me, was the best Earthly reward for persevering even when I felt like ending my relationship with my Mom once and for all. Hearing her say that she has Jesus in her life is everything to me, and that is the only thing that matters, actually.
That’s why when my Mom passed away in 2023, even though it was very painful as it was the first death in my family, my heart was at peace because I know where she is now. To all the children out there, love your parents, and never cease praying for them.
Nothing is too broken for God. When He says that He will fix it, He will fix it. God is always working. ❤
A Prayer of Deliverance
My family and I may have our own rifts now, and I know we will go through a lot more in the future, but I have faith in God that we will overcome every single one of them by God’s grace. We always do as long as we keep God at the center of our relationships.
In the same way that God loved the church so much, I have the same love for my loved ones, and nothing can change that. I hope you cling to this hope, too, that every pain shall pass.
And even if they don’t go away right away, those many years that you have waited without seeing any results or receiving answers from your prayers, know and believe that God has already worked on so many things that it’s a definite that you won’t stay in the same situation for the rest of your life.
Again, God is good all the time. He is always in control. He is always working. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). And He is never late nor early, He will give you what you need at the right time.
So, press on and move forward. Keep moving forward, even if you have to drag yourself to get to the finish line. God is with you always. Seek professional help when necessary, and as they say, surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the worst.
Don’t forget the story about the footprints in the sand. When you are too weak to walk, God will lift you up and carry you, so you don’t have to walk alone. Even if you don’t know how to pray because you are just too overwhelmed, just cry out loud, “Lord, please help me.”
That is all that I ever said, that is why I am still alive now, and that is all that I will ever say, every time I am in deep waters. God rescues those who call out His name, He never fails.
For “Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.” – Romans 10:13
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” – Romans 8:38
“We love because God first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19
To end this article, please join me in covering our families with this prayer:
Dear Father,
You are the only One who knows the condition of our hearts. You see everything, You hear everything, nothing is ever hidden from You. We lift up to You every single member of our family. May You watch over each and every one of us as we go through different seasons in our lives.
Please send Your angels to guard over our homes, and even in places that we have to be. May every family stay united in defeating every enemy who will attempt to steal, kill, and destroy every beautiful promise that You have for us.
I cast out any demonic spirits that are attacking every home right now. Please shield our homes with Your mighty power as we continue to remain steadfast in our fight against evil.
I declare healing. I declare deliverance from the stronghold of the enemy. I declare peace. I declare hope. I declare joy. And most importantly, I declare love to be upon Your precious children.
May Your light shine in and through us, that we may continue to do the work that You have set for us to do. Help us, Lord, to finish this race victoriously, carrying our own crosses and Your banner high, loud and proud.
This we pray in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.
P.S. The name Amos keeps on popping up everywhere lately, I think the Spirit is leading us to read the book of Amos. 🙂
The Journeyman's Moments 